Finally, it's time for this week's round of Guess the Disease. Actually, it's not much of a round at all, since nobody but House is throwing out any guesses. He figures something must be up. Cameron tells him that DMo Popo released their bank accounts. "Horrible news," he says. "Glad we didn't let that fester." Then he throws out another possibility which everyone ignores. Foreman says that since Trigger released their money, that means that someone must have turned on House. Cameron throws out Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, then throws Chase under the bus. Everyone knows he and DMo Popo were seen together laughing in the lunchroom; it must have been him. After Cameron and Foreman leave to treat Alice, Chase asks House if they can talk. House isn't interested in anything Chase has to say: "Either you screwed me and you want absolution, or you didn't and you want applause." Other things Chase wants: a basket of puppies.
"You gonna eat that?
Wilson stops by Cuddy's office to talk about House. She's seen him be rude a thousand times to achieve something, but she's never seen him be mean just because he can. Wilson says he's seen House be rude to her a thousand times, but he's never seen it get to her. "People think House has no inner sensor," Cuddy says. But he holds himself back, because when he wants to hurt, he knows just where to poke a sharp stick. Then she tells Wilson about how she's been trying to get pregnant, but has failed so far. And how House knew that's what would hurt her most. Wilson says he's sorry, but she didn't fail; those were just physical events. She's upset because Alice was terrified and in pain, and she froze. She didn't hug her, didn't hold her hand, didn't even stick her tongue down her throat. She doesn't think she'll ever be good with kids. Wilson stops her and says he sees what she means about House poking the right spot. It's a damn good thing he never told House he was trying to get pregnant too.
It's the next morning, and the treatment still hasn't worked: Alice is getting sicker and the rash is getting rashier. House thinks the infection has morphed and moved into her muscle sheath. Foreman says it can't be flesh-eating bacteria, because the only treatment for that is amputation. Cameron says there's no way they can cut a six-year-old girl in half without a better diagnosis. Or a bigger saw. But House says they can't wait any longer. If the rash keeps spreading, Alice will die.
Chase says they're not even certain Alice has an infection. House, who's in obvious physical pain, screams at the Outhouses that just because Alice is cute they think she can't have flesh-eating bacteria. So he suggests they cure her with sunshine and puppies. Wait, that's an option? "Cute kids die and innocent doctors go to jail because cowards like you won't stand up for what's right," he tells them. Then he pops a pill and heads off to break the news to her parents: without any more magic unicorn powder, Alice will die.
While Alice is being prepped for surgery, the Outhouses are sitting around complaining about House. Chase starts shining House's laser at Foreman. Foreman tells him to stop it before he burns his retinas. And suddenly Chase has an epiphany: That's right, House was wrong about the puppies!
"Cross my chow zone again, you're gonna pull back a bloody stump."
He runs off to find House and tell him to stop the surgery. Alice doesn't have flesh-eating disease; she's just allergic to light. Think about it. She got worse every time they put her under surgical lights, and whenever she went outside. But Dr. McDetox doesn't want to hear it and tells Chase to get out of his way. When Chase won't move, House punches him in the face. Even House seems shocked by what he just did. Chase doesn't fight back though; he just keeps explaining to House why he's right and House is wrong. Chase went down with just one punch from a skinny cripple. That's sad. Steve Erwin would be so disappointed, if he hadn't have gone down with one punch himself.
Fortunately, the operation is stopped just in time. Cuddy tells the parents what happened. Alice has always had this condition; it just manifested now. It can be managed, but it's going to be hard. And because she knows the parents will fight about who's to blame, she tells them that both of them were carriers of the gene, so they're both to blame. Yes, but which one of them is more to blame?
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Comments (7)
i'm really annoyed by this cop. doesn't he take time off of being annoying to get laid?
1 of 7 | Posted by nurseratched
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Posted on December 2, 2006 2:26 PM
My Super Sweet 16 is one of those shows that I laugh it even as I cringe in horror.
"Chase went down with just one punch from a skinny cripple. That's sad. Steve Erwin would be so disappointed, if he hadn't have gone down with one punch himself."
you are a sick puppy cg (get it? -- puppy?!)
I really should watch this show...
hb
2 of 7 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on December 2, 2006 4:29 PM
Thanks copygodd, I needed this recap. Not because I watch House (I don't) but because it was so witty. And clever- you even worked in a Shakespeare reference!
So will the parents sue House for removing Alice's perfectly good gallbladder?
Here's my brother's version of what happens at the 51 minute mark:
House- "Wait a minute, I was on drugs, she just has a cold".
Everyone else- "Wow, he's such a great doctor".
3 of 7 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on December 3, 2006 10:22 AM
Is anyone else tired of the writers' efforts to "expand" the show each year?
Every year they come up with a dead-end, tired plot line they can put the B-story on (rich, obnoxious guy taking over, trying to fire House; ex-girlfriend of House; this year's retaliatory cop). None of these stories have anywhere to go (obviously, House wasn't going to be fired; he's obviously not going to spend the next 10 years (or even 10 weeks) in prison or lose his license to practice), so there's no real jeopardy.
They should spend more time trying to change up the "I'm sure this is what's wrong -- oops we damn near killed the patient -- I'm playing Nintendo and come up with the answer out of the blue at the 52 minute mark" arc that the show has every week.
House is a very entertaining character and very well-played, but eventually, the formula's going to be played out.
4 of 7 | Posted by cunningwatcher
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Posted on December 3, 2006 3:09 PM
I really love the fact that everyone loves House, but thinks DMo is an asshole. In this episode, both their initial conversations with Cuddy were shockingly similar, if not the same. I, in fact, love this story arc, merely for the fact that no one seems to ever pick up on the fact that House's nemesis is House, but with a gun. Who wants to bet that Wilson gives some stupid excuse, and DMo's head explodes at the sheer stupidity, and WIlson has sex with the now empty spinal column? That would be a satisfying conclusion of this arc... Imagine if they became each other's rehab sponsors in exchange for dropping the charges, and an apology from House, that would make a great Halloween episode.
5 of 7 | Posted by M
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Posted on December 3, 2006 7:58 PM
I have to say I never thought I would get there, but I didn't even watch this episode. My girlfriend and I were so tired of the whole David Morse arc that we decided to rely on copygodd's great recap. Thanks for keeping us up to date, I hope the season gets better soon.
6 of 7 | Posted by Fitz
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Posted on December 5, 2006 1:37 PM
A My Super Sweet 16 marathon? I don't know if any of you have ever watched that show or not, but after catching just a couple episodes last year, I think I understand why the terrorists hate us
HAHAHAHAH I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU
7 of 7 | Posted by memyI
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Posted on December 5, 2006 1:52 PM