The double vision is reported back to House, so he tells the Housers to check the girl's knees. He thinks it could be juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, but the girl wouldn't be able to pinpoint what inflamed joints feels like. Not because she's young, but because she's stupid. Ok, probably because she's young. With that, House makes his way down to the clinic, all the while trying to dump play tickets off on Wilson. House doesn't want them because there's no woman he wants to see naked, so he gave them to Wilson, because there must be a woman he wants to see naked. Then House tends to his patient, who is the scrawny guy from Dodgeball. He complains of various aches and pains, and House says he's going to need a urine sample.
Well, that's gonna be a problem for our old Dodgeball friend. He's not so good at peeing in public. And by public I mean areas that are not his own toilet. So House entrusts him with the sample bottle to take it home (apparently he lives close), fill it and bring it back.
We go back upstairs to Lucy, and Foreman is explaining rheumatoid arthritis to her father. As soon as he finishes talking about how good it is that they caught it early, Lucy sits up, and the left side of her face is sagging. She's having a stroke!
The people at HOUSE sure do love their new "stroke" effect.
2nd time theyve used it in April.
Apparently this "stroke" was caused by a "clot" in the "brain" "artery." So much medical jargon, how do I sift through it all? As House and the Gang are trying to sort out this girl's problem, Cameron says this girl's blood is thicker than pancake batter. Oh Cameron. Always thinking about food during medical emergencies. Anyways, Chase and Cameron get into another ex-coupley argument about where this girl could be getting excess carbon dioxide from, and House sends them to check out the house. On their way out, Jasper runs up to Cameron and brings her flowers. Cameron reads the card though, and it's to someone who had a "bundle of joy." Seriously, the medical jargon is confusing the hell out of me. Cameron sends the boy back upstairs with a guard, but then she takes a flower and gives Jasper a kiss on the cheek. Then she looks him in the eye and they start making out. Come on Cameron, this kid's 8! Actually, following the kiss on the cheek, Jasper calls Chase a punk bitch.
The old "make your man jealous by molesting an 8 year old trick"
So Chase and Cameron are searching through the house, and Chase is jealous that Cameron kissed Jasper. Sailing to new heights Chase, being jealous of an 8 year old. They make their way up to the little girl's bedroom and they climb under the bed, all the while engaging in relationship talk. Hey Chase, she said she didn't want a relationship. Maybe she didn't want you to be a bitch about it either. This relationship discussion bores me, and I can't figure out what's worse, the House goes to jail plotline or this. Anyways, while under the bed, they find a bloody shirt in the vent below it.
Everyone reconvenes and now there are questions of sexual abuse. House wants them to do a full exam of the girl, but the father will have to consent to it. The father could easily lie about abusing the girl, so Foreman comes right out and confronts him. The father says he's never abused the girl, so he consents to the exam. Then we see Cameron giving the girl her exam. As she moves south, I get more and more uncomfortable. Then Cameron says, "I'm going to look in your vagina now, understand? I'm a doctor, so it's ok." That line has NEVER worked for me. Cameron finishes the exam and says "Oh my God." I'm not doctor, but I would assume that etiquette excludes you from saying that while examining a 6 year old's vagina. But, again, I'm no doctor.
The old "Make the molested 8 year old jealous by molesting his 6 year old sister trick"
So with the exam complete, what did Cameron find? Cuts all over the patient's genital area, like slices, some new, some old. They say that she's too young to be a cutter, and her bajingo (can we stop with the references to this young girls hooha?) is fine. The LittleHouses go to report to House, but he's gone.
« A Stephanie Sandwich with Mayo | Main | The Real World Guide To Dating »
Comments (7)
This was the first time I watched this show. Your recap was very good, I am sitting at my desk laughing out loud.
1 of 7 | Posted by sperk5
|
Posted on April 19, 2007 12:11 PM
Nice recap.
Am I the only one bothered that this girl was apparently still wearing a diaper when she was 4? That can't be healthy.
2 of 7 | Posted by Rickety
|
Posted on April 19, 2007 12:31 PM
Nice recap.
Am I the only one bothered that this girl was apparently still wearing a diaper when she was 4? That can't be healthy.
3 of 7 | Posted by Rickety
|
Posted on April 19, 2007 12:33 PM
Great recap! This is one of my favorite shows and you definitely did it justice. I was laughing throughout. Especially:
"It's all so clear now. The daycare director is a man!" Ha...good one.
Because I'm a girl I actually enjoy the relationship stuff. Which is why my only complaint is that I think you should have touched upon the interaction/tension between Cuddy and House at the end of the show. You might not care (understandably) but I'm really curious if anything happens between them b/c I feel like it's brewing.
4 of 7 | Posted by TVCheese
|
Posted on April 19, 2007 1:01 PM
You started watching this show too late... you missed it last season when Chase had an underage sweetheart of his own.
http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/house/post-3-1223.php
5 of 7 | Posted by srah
|
Posted on April 19, 2007 3:54 PM
So happy to have House recaps back!! Yaaay, TOM!
This episode creeped me out. Kiddie stroke + Kiddie OBGYN appt + Kiddie periods/pubic hair/ hormonal rages= uncomfortable Pegster
Sick of Cameron and Chase. Does anyone care about this story line anyway? If I wanted that schmaltzy melodramatic relationship crap, I'd watch Grey's Anatomy.
Loved House sending Wilson the flowers. Sweet.
6 of 7 | Posted by Pegster
|
Posted on April 19, 2007 8:51 PM
So why did the excess testosterone cause the little girl to start developing more rapidly as a female. That is a huge plot hole that makes no sense.
7 of 7 | Posted by goobs
|
Posted on April 20, 2007 8:35 AM