House is back in the clinic with our Dodgeball friend. House says that the urine sample he received was obviously not this guy's urine, and people only fake urine samples for three reasons: they're on steroids, they're on drugs (guy: "I'm not." House: "I am."), or they're repeating someone else's symptoms who's too scared/poor to come in and get checked out themselves. How did House know it was the third case? Dude's pregnant.
Cuddy interrupts House while he's with his clinic patient and tells him he needs to bring in social services whenever abuse is suspect. House responds by giving her the third degree about why she's wearing extra foundation under her eyes. Cuddy says she was out late at a play, so obviously House assumes Wilson took her, and that must mean that Wilson wants to see her naked. House then finds Wilson and accuses him of his theory, and Wilson doesn't give House a straight answer. Did Wilson sleep with Cuddy? Yes. Are you serious? No. So did you? Yes. Really? No. It may have gone on longer than that, but that's pretty much the gist.
Let's get back to Lucy. They analyzed the blood on the shirt, and it's definitely Lucy's blood. The twist is, the blood is full of endometrial cells. Apparently this 6-year old girl is menstruating. Just like all 6 year old girls. (I know nothing of the female body.) And just like that we're back on this girl's vajayjay. The dad is confused as to how this could happen, because Lucy was just in diapers two years ago (weren't we all?), and yet again, he's looking like the overwhelmed single father.
So now I'm torn about whether or not to discuss what this girl did, but I guess if I had to go through it, so will you. Cameron explains that Lucy got her period, and didn't know what to do. A friend said to put a shirt in her underwear, and then she stole her dad's razor to try to shave her pubic hair. Hey, welcome to House recaps. Talk about this girls (insert wacky name for vagina here)!
While Chase and Foreman are doing an MRI on Lucy, they're discussing the whole Chase-Cameron thing. Well, it was more like Chase was dying for some girl talk so he started spilling the beans and Foreman couldn't care less. Finally, when he'd had enough, Foreman said that either Cameron is lying, or she's actually emotionally detached, and that's just not her style. YAAAWWWWNNNN. In more interesting news, they actually do find a tumor on one of the girl's ovaries. Just sitting there, waiting to be punched.
Who are you?
Dude, I'm Omar. I've been on the show sine the beginning?? The black guy?
Really? Nothing?
Man I knew I should have auditioned for BONES.
House ran into Wilson upstairs, and Wilson was freaked out. Cuddy sent him flowers, and a card that suggested more than just a friendship. As soon as he sees Cuddy, Wilson starts ducking her like he's got gambling debts and his thumbs are due for collection. House walks in to talk to Cuddy, and she asked what's up with Wilson. "I sent him flowers," responds House. Well played indeed.
Upstairs Jasper runs into Cameron, and he starts to drill her about her relationship with Chase. Then we're treated to a gratuitous ass-shot of Cameron, and I have to say, great work. We could use more of those. Jasper then calls Chase a tool, and Cameron says that's rude. I think the rude part to her was the implication that she would ever sleep with a tool though. Anyways, the kid completes the trifecta by grabbing Cameron's ass. I have to say this kid has quickly become my favorite character next to house and Cameron's ass on the show.
Cameron is just assome.
At his age, I was selling magazine subscriptions for work. . .
. . . I now resent my parents.
Down in surgery, as they're preparing to do the biopsy of the tumor, the girl begins to crash. There's your crash scene for the week. They get her stabilized, and then Foreman discovers that the tumor is actually a benign cyst, meaning the cause must be environmental. Standing there, looking at all of the household items removed from the house, Foreman says it's going to be a long night, then ditches Cameron and Chase for the night.
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Comments (7)
This was the first time I watched this show. Your recap was very good, I am sitting at my desk laughing out loud.
1 of 7 | Posted by sperk5
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Posted on April 19, 2007 12:11 PM
Nice recap.
Am I the only one bothered that this girl was apparently still wearing a diaper when she was 4? That can't be healthy.
2 of 7 | Posted by Rickety
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Posted on April 19, 2007 12:31 PM
Nice recap.
Am I the only one bothered that this girl was apparently still wearing a diaper when she was 4? That can't be healthy.
3 of 7 | Posted by Rickety
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Posted on April 19, 2007 12:33 PM
Great recap! This is one of my favorite shows and you definitely did it justice. I was laughing throughout. Especially:
"It's all so clear now. The daycare director is a man!" Ha...good one.
Because I'm a girl I actually enjoy the relationship stuff. Which is why my only complaint is that I think you should have touched upon the interaction/tension between Cuddy and House at the end of the show. You might not care (understandably) but I'm really curious if anything happens between them b/c I feel like it's brewing.
4 of 7 | Posted by TVCheese
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Posted on April 19, 2007 1:01 PM
You started watching this show too late... you missed it last season when Chase had an underage sweetheart of his own.
http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/house/post-3-1223.php
5 of 7 | Posted by srah
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Posted on April 19, 2007 3:54 PM
So happy to have House recaps back!! Yaaay, TOM!
This episode creeped me out. Kiddie stroke + Kiddie OBGYN appt + Kiddie periods/pubic hair/ hormonal rages= uncomfortable Pegster
Sick of Cameron and Chase. Does anyone care about this story line anyway? If I wanted that schmaltzy melodramatic relationship crap, I'd watch Grey's Anatomy.
Loved House sending Wilson the flowers. Sweet.
6 of 7 | Posted by Pegster
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Posted on April 19, 2007 8:51 PM
So why did the excess testosterone cause the little girl to start developing more rapidly as a female. That is a huge plot hole that makes no sense.
7 of 7 | Posted by goobs
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Posted on April 20, 2007 8:35 AM