Well, you know what leaving these two alone means. More sappy relationship crap. Chase begins to confront Cameron about having feelings for him and lying about the meaningless sex, and as he's getting to the heartfelt crap, Jasper shows up, a huge ball of 8 year old rage. He pushes Chase down, which causes Chase to say "Get this kid off me" like he's said it 1,000 times before. Before being pulled off, Jasper manages to get a solid bite on the arm of Chase. Chase was kind of mad, but even he had to admire the kid's excellent teeth.
For some reason, Cameron and Chase decide that the bite is a good reason to call House. It's not, obviously, and House hangs up disinterested. However, as he's watching wrestling, you can see the wheels turning. House calls them back and says Jasper is aggressive because he's out of his mind with hormones, so if they don't figure out what's wrong with Lucy, it's going to happen to Jasper soon enough.
Coolest Juggernaut costume ever. .. I miss X-Men
Jasper has 100 times more testosterone than an average 8 year old. So do I ladies. So do I. There's nothing in the house that could cause the increase in testosterone though, because Cameron-Chase tested everything overnight. At this point, House discovers that Foreman went home for the night, and now he's proud of Foreman for delegating work to C-C when he's their peer. The group wonders if it's a brain tumor or possible genetic tumors. Cameron says they don't show the symptoms, but Chase disagrees, saying they do if pubic hair and menstruation are the symptoms. Ok, now I really feel bad for Jasper if he's going to start menstruating. Cameron says that's ridiculous, and if menstruating is a symptom, she should be in treatment. House tells her that that's ridiculous though; she's way too skinny to be menstruating.
The little girl starts screaming of tummy pain. Man, what is it with her. This hurts, the side of of my brain is dying, wa wa waa. She now has cysts on her pancreas, kidneys and lungs, and if they don't hurry, she'll die. They theorize about possibility of pituitary adenoma, but House doesn't agree. And, we all know that you can't remove the pituitary without consent. Come on Cameron. House thinks the cause has to be the daycare. Well, they present their case to the father, and he's not sure what to think. He says it can't be the daycare, because no other kids are sick. Cameron brings out the "My husband died of this" wildcard, and she gets the father to consent. Afterward, House leans over and whispers to Cameron, "I can't believe you played the dead husband card."
House then questions how the dad knew none of the other kids at daycare were sick if he's been at the hospital for four days. So guess who shows up at daycare. House sees a little girl there and asks her if she has hair on her special place. Just a note, that's a great ice-breaker for ANY conversation. House knows that the daycare director and the father are dating, because how else would the father have known no one else was sick? Then he notices that the director had a red upper lip. She said she ran out over lunch to get it waxed. It's all so clear now. The daycare director is a man!
House has all he needs to know, so he heads back to the hospital. "There's something wrong in your pants," he says to the father, and I can't think of any time that's a good thing to hear. "That's not flesh-eating bacteria, there's something wrong in your pants!" "We don't have to cut open your brain, there's something wrong in your pants!" "We better take these pants off. There's something wrong in your pants!" That last one could be good or bad I guess.
Anyways, the dad has been using a dong cream for "enhancement," and the testosterone is seeping out of his pores, transferring into his kids through contact, not to mention the daycare chick. House tells him if he stops with the cream, he'll be floppy, but his kids will be fine. Mystery solved. Why does it always come back to the penis creams?
And the terrible father of the year award goes to. . .
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Comments (7)
This was the first time I watched this show. Your recap was very good, I am sitting at my desk laughing out loud.
1 of 7 | Posted by sperk5
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Posted on April 19, 2007 12:11 PM
Nice recap.
Am I the only one bothered that this girl was apparently still wearing a diaper when she was 4? That can't be healthy.
2 of 7 | Posted by Rickety
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Posted on April 19, 2007 12:31 PM
Nice recap.
Am I the only one bothered that this girl was apparently still wearing a diaper when she was 4? That can't be healthy.
3 of 7 | Posted by Rickety
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Posted on April 19, 2007 12:33 PM
Great recap! This is one of my favorite shows and you definitely did it justice. I was laughing throughout. Especially:
"It's all so clear now. The daycare director is a man!" Ha...good one.
Because I'm a girl I actually enjoy the relationship stuff. Which is why my only complaint is that I think you should have touched upon the interaction/tension between Cuddy and House at the end of the show. You might not care (understandably) but I'm really curious if anything happens between them b/c I feel like it's brewing.
4 of 7 | Posted by TVCheese
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Posted on April 19, 2007 1:01 PM
You started watching this show too late... you missed it last season when Chase had an underage sweetheart of his own.
http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/house/post-3-1223.php
5 of 7 | Posted by srah
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Posted on April 19, 2007 3:54 PM
So happy to have House recaps back!! Yaaay, TOM!
This episode creeped me out. Kiddie stroke + Kiddie OBGYN appt + Kiddie periods/pubic hair/ hormonal rages= uncomfortable Pegster
Sick of Cameron and Chase. Does anyone care about this story line anyway? If I wanted that schmaltzy melodramatic relationship crap, I'd watch Grey's Anatomy.
Loved House sending Wilson the flowers. Sweet.
6 of 7 | Posted by Pegster
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Posted on April 19, 2007 8:51 PM
So why did the excess testosterone cause the little girl to start developing more rapidly as a female. That is a huge plot hole that makes no sense.
7 of 7 | Posted by goobs
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Posted on April 20, 2007 8:35 AM