Cuddy goes into a coffee shop to meet the baby mama for the first time. It looks like a made-over version of the bar where she had her date with Lucas. Pretty much everyone else is there on a date or with a friend. Word to the wise, Lisa: one is not the loneliest number. 1.5 is, especially at 3 AM when the .5 refuses to go to sleep and poops all over her crib. Cuddy's personal incubator is stuffing her face with an eclair. Cuddy, who by the looks of her hasn't eaten more than a spinach leaf at a sitting this season, is dismayed, but puts on a brave face.
NOT Tina Fey.
NOT Amy Poehler.
Woman-who-is-not-Amy-Poehler just has one question: what will Cuddy name the baby? Cuddy is thinking about Joy. Cuddy asks why the baby mama chose a single mom to give her baby to. Hasn't she seen Juno, or like any baby movie at all since 2000? Couples with babies are so George Bush. Baby mama says she had a loser dad, and a loser grandpa, and didn't want her kid to be stuck with a loser. So yeah, what I said. She picked a needy workaholic instead of a loser. Smart choice. Cuddy notices a rash on her arm and goes into full-on protect-the-baby mode. It's off to the padded room for you, Amy.
Louie and 13 are observing the POW in his place. Louie lies on the daughter's bed and plays with her baby doll. And that's the most disturbing thing I've seen all season. The patient sleepwalks out the door. 13 and Louie follow as he starts sleepdriving. That could explain a lot of the traffic around this town, come to think of it. He pulls up to a woman on a corner, sleep-buys something from her, and sleep-drives away. Man, this guy is good. When Louie and 13 try to talk to the dealer, she says to piss off. Can they say that on TV now? I'm so behind on my TV-PG profanity. Anyway, the dude sleep-scored some coke.
If only he could teach me to master sleep-working.
Over in the other plotline, Cameron checks out the baby mama's rash. Cuddy hovers nearby, wringing her hands and annoying Cameron by second-guessing her doctoring. Cuddy decides to admit the woman. Probably a wise move. You know she's going to start shooting up as soon as she gets out of sight. Or go out sleepdriving with the POW.
House teases Cuddy some more, saying she's not cut out to be a mom. To prove the point, he tosses a cup of baby vomit on her. Actually, House, we call it spit-up, which is ever so much nicer. She'd better be able to handle getting puked on 8 times a day, he says. Wow, how does he know? House's parenting class is a lot more realistic than the one we went to..
Name That Disease: The Blue Magic Round
House is making a line of sugar substitute on the table. Don't do it, House, that stuff will give you cancer. The dope is probably cut with some kind of toxic substance and maybe that's causing the sleepwalking. House says to go buy some more so they can test it. Wait, why not just test the actual stuff that the patient bought? Did 13 bogart it, or is House saving it to chase his Vicodin with?
Cuddy suspects the baby mama's meth use caused her rash. They do an ultrasound and find that the baby's lungs are not in great shape. Baby mama is stricken with guilt.
13 and Louie go back to the dealer, who is standing on the same street corner. In his best Michael Scott impersonation, Louie promises that he is not a cop and "would like to buy some cocaine, please." LOL. Bubbles says wait up, and sticks some up in her mouth like a pro. It's too good, she says. Give them the regular crappy stuff instead of the quality new-customer stuff. I officially love 13 again.
Oh, I get it. It's your Mod Squad jacket.
It's time for more Parenting Made Easy With House! To demonstrate that kids = chaos, he turns over a lamp in Cuddy's office. Ooh, can I do lesson 3? Cuddy can borrow my car. It smells horrible because my 2-year-old threw up in the back yesterday. Perhaps more relevant to the plot, House warns Cuddy not to make the baby a victim of her biological clock. Cuddy shows him the door.
Name That Disease: The Walking and Talking Round
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Comments (5)
Aww, really? You didn't like the House-Cuddy hook-up at the end? I thought that was the greatest thing to happen all episode, and all season as well.
The episode was very very good in my opinion; cool story with the whole lack-of-pleasure disease, and when the baby-with-premature-lungs came out I started bawling. Fun times all 'round!
You had me giggling uncontrollably with the "sleep-drives, sleep-buys, et.al" schtick, because it reminded me so much of those shows like The Jetsons, where they would take something ordinary and easily found in real life and just add "space" on to it, i.e. "space casserole, space bike". Loverly.
1 of 5 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on November 1, 2008 7:46 PM
This was a better than average episode... and a fine recap.
I liked seeing more of the soft side of Cuddy. (Now, put her back into the totally age-inappropriate clothing!)
2 of 5 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 2, 2008 11:18 AM
Just goes to show how far opinions can vary: I hated this episode. In fact, now that I think about it, was it directed or written by a cast member? some newbie? some nephew of a producer?
It sucked all the way around for me.
3 of 5 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on November 2, 2008 11:49 AM
OMG that was great -- my boss was the only one of us who DIDN'T watch it this week, and she forgot to TiVO it, so we all were jumping up and down about the end, and she was like "what? whaaaat?!" - we didn't tell her, made her wait for her to watch it on USA on the weekend. We're mean like that.
Anyway, I thought it was good.
4 of 5 | Posted by killbondnow | Posted on November 3, 2008 1:48 AM
Last time I saw the baby mama was in the movie The Baby-Sitters Club, where she played a kid they baby-sat.
It was weird seeing her all grown up.
5 of 5 | Posted by mermaidtricks | Posted on November 18, 2008 3:58 PM