Just going by the episode title ("Here Kitty"), this week of House has potential. Whose kitty? Does it smell bad? Barf up hairballs? Scratch and bite if you rub it a certain way? SO NAUGHTY! We could speculate for at least a paragraph, but that's just what FOX is expecting us to do, and besides, I've already seen the episode summary. This episode is going to be SO FUNNY! Read on!
House is in the clinic putting together a Hot Wheels racetrack out of surgical tubing, tongue depressors and tape. Cuddy pages Dr. MacGyver as Nugent's "Stranglehold" plays in the background. Not "Cat Scratch Fever", but that's the direction they want you to think in.
.
Nice try, but you jumped the shark over a year ago.
She tells him to quit avoiding patients. It seems all the files in his follow-up stack are marked Deceased. I guess House is killing patients in the clinic faster than he can save them upstairs. She introduces a nursing-home nurse. It's Judy Greer, who has the market cornered on mousy sidekicks. I loves her. No one better at playing a crazy cat lady. She says she's feeling run down, has a seizure and pees green all over her white pants.
No pinching you, huh?
House writes a big green "P" on the whiteboard as one of the symptoms. Green Pee, get it? 13 wonders why "neurological symptoms" was written in green as well. "Green indicates irony," says House. Wonder what color they wrote the script in? Louie comes in late and grumpy, and thinks a seizure is not important enough to spend their time on. "Luckily, neither are you," snaps House.
Kumar asks Louie why he's so grouchy as they conduct a search and seizure of the nursing home. Louie finds a bottle of some stuff that makes your pee green, and tells House their POW is a big faker. Aquarium cleaner works too, BTW. You know, the really dark blue stuff? A few drops of that in your roommate's Coke, and happy St. Patrick's Day! (DISCLAIMER: Don't try that at home. I know my recaps can be bad, but I'd rather they not be deadly. Just take my word for it, k? Or try food coloring instead!) House says he can spot a fake seizure and sends Louie off on a wild goose chase while he secretly double-checks.
As Louie walks out through the lobby, he hears someone say "Chris?" and stops. What for? Oh that's right, his name is Chris. The name-caller is an old high school acquaintance who's there to get his leg looked at. A guy wearing a nice suit like that goes to a free clinic to get his knee bandaged? Louie patches up the knee. The suit says he's dizzy, and Louie seems to cure the dizziness by turning his head first one way, then the other. The guy invites him out for a night on the town as thanks.
Meanwhile, House flashy-things Judy to make her have another seizure, and she does-but her reflexes prove she's faking. She says a cat predicted her death and she has to find out what's wrong with her. "Cats make terrible doctors. Oh wait, that's women. You're screwed." Is he referring to Cuddy? Because he was fooled too, right? He sends her home, but she comes back and brings the cat with her. It lives at the nursing home, everyone it sleeps with dies-and it slept next to her yesterday. House blows her off "for a meeting with the Prince of Nigeria." Don't do it, House! It's a scam! I sent in my $8,000 twice and got bupkis. Good thing Bill Gates and Disney have my back. The POW starts having some kind of asthma attack. Foreman says it's bronchospasm and you can't fake that.
House watches a tape of a news segment about the cat. Cuddy's snuggled up next to him, showing plenty of leg and hoping House will do the arm-around-the-shoulder trick. She says Judy's obviously nuts, and House has 24 hours to prove she's actually sick before she's out on the street.
Want a lick?
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Comments (4)
I want to know where I can get a House Bingo board. I want to play!
1 of 4 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on March 21, 2009 5:09 PM
Great catch, Copyhacker: "So she's a Bond expert, but doesn't know Duran Duran? Shenanigans! Who does she think did the "View to a Kill" theme?"
I didn't even notice when she said it, but you are 100% right. How do you catch all of this stuff? Too funny.
2 of 4 | Posted by zbird | Posted on March 22, 2009 10:03 AM
Another fine job!
I, too, thought it was a very good episode. Lots of witty dialoge and a few surprises. Didn't see the Nigerian style scam coming at all.
3 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on March 22, 2009 1:18 PM
zbird: Sleep deprivation + caffeine makes the brain do all kinds of strange and wonderful things.
So what else should go on next week's House bingo card?
4 of 4 | Posted by copyhacker | Posted on March 22, 2009 6:47 PM