Louie sits in a giant office with his friend the suit, drinking port or sherry or some other rich-guy booze. First cigars, now port. Can we skip straight to the polo and the yacht? Louie misses the giant office he had when he was a plastic surgeon. Too bad he had that affair (with his partner's daughter!) and lost the job. Oooooh, so that's what happened. I don't think we knew that, did we? The suit shows him a prototype of some kind of fancy needle that's going to make them all rich. Louie gives him some real-world-doctor advice about how to improve it. More rich-guy drinks are drunk. Louie licks his chops and dreams of a better life.
Tell me you haven't been watching Dr. 90210 again. You know that never ends well.
Judy is worried because now she's peeing brown. The Houseguests discuss this shocking new color. We must be getting to the end of whatever medical textbook the writers are consulting this year; I distinctly remember brown urine from earlier this season. House has set up a ladder over the office door, opens an umbrella inside, knocks over a salt shaker, etc etc. Kumar is really kinda silly with the superstition. No wonder you rarely see him and 13 in a scene together. Foreman points out that her pee is still green from her earlier fakery, so take away the green and it's actually purple. So what causes purple pee? Give her a pill cam and see, says House. Kumar refuses to walk under the ladder. LOL.
House figures out that Louie is missing the big money, but he doesn't have the stones to quit, so he's passive-aggressively trying to get himself fired. Someone's job is in jeopardy again? Can we please please not go there for just one episode? Surely there are other things to write about. Like the cat, who has been sleeping on still-alive-coma-guy's bed for two nights in a row. House gives her a history lesson about a preacher who predicted the date of the Second Coming, got it wrong and still people followed him. I find his lack of snideness interesting. Judy is not swayed. Apparently House can't even win one against God's cat. Give it up already.
Wilson tells him to quit attacking the POW's superstition, because it gives her comfort. House doesn't want to take away her security blanket, he just wants her to think clearly. "Maybe that could make her as happy as you are," says Wilson. Zing! He's hiding the cat in his bag as they go to Pediatric Oncology. He tells the kids the cat is a therapy animal. "You're a liar. Therapy animals are dogs," says one of the kids. He has a point. Not much comfort potential in an animal that thinks it owns you. The cat next door is convinced he's renting our house to us. Not therapeutic at all, but it gives my dog plenty of exercise. Anyway. Wilson isn't a fan of this test and sends the kids out. He thinks House is starting to care what other people think.
The Houseguests watch the pill-cam video while House gets Death Cat to chase a laser pointer around Kumar's feet. Kumar dances like a five-year-old who gotta go potty bad. Skin cancer is blamed, and 13 goes to do a test. The cat traps Kumar in the office and he has to go out through the conference room. Come on, you sissy. It's not even a black cat. Just dark gray.
Look, everybody! It's another TVgasm shoutout!
House is awakened by his phone ringing. It's Kumar, and "it's not cancer." I win House Bingo! (I scored on Not Cancer, Cuddy Shows Skin, Moral Dilemma, Calling Someone An Idiot and the free space.) The POW has new spider veins on her back, which House thinks is a sign of something called Cushing's disease. But. It doesn't fit all the symptoms, and it's not life-threatening, so it must not be why Kumar called to wake him up. Well, since you asked, the coma patient died. God's cat 2, House 0.
Where is God's cat, anyway? Seems he went missing when Kumar snuck out the back. and the Houseguests are scouring the grounds looking for him before he carries off any more souls to the underworld. Is House on the cat's bandwagon now? Yeah, but there has to be a rational explanation. They argue where the Cushing's disease might be coming from and House has some kind of episode. He coughs up blood all over Kumar. Gotcha! It's just cranberry juice.
SO UNSANITARY!
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Comments (4)
I want to know where I can get a House Bingo board. I want to play!
1 of 4 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on March 21, 2009 5:09 PM
Great catch, Copyhacker: "So she's a Bond expert, but doesn't know Duran Duran? Shenanigans! Who does she think did the "View to a Kill" theme?"
I didn't even notice when she said it, but you are 100% right. How do you catch all of this stuff? Too funny.
2 of 4 | Posted by zbird | Posted on March 22, 2009 10:03 AM
Another fine job!
I, too, thought it was a very good episode. Lots of witty dialoge and a few surprises. Didn't see the Nigerian style scam coming at all.
3 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on March 22, 2009 1:18 PM
zbird: Sleep deprivation + caffeine makes the brain do all kinds of strange and wonderful things.
So what else should go on next week's House bingo card?
4 of 4 | Posted by copyhacker | Posted on March 22, 2009 6:47 PM