Let me set the scene for y'all: Dim lights. The soft clink of silver and china. The back of a bunch of books, featuring a pic of the tweedy author. A fancy banquet-hall dinner. The author himself, even tweedier in person, about to attempt a speech.
What my hair looked like in high school.
He thanks his editor, who returns the thank-you by telling him "Short stories don't make money." Like I needed that little reminder. Why no, they don't, and that's why I'm giving away mine here, or here in PDF form! Plug over. Anyway, I guess this is a book of short stories. Relevant? I doubt it. The editor keeps running his mouth, just like in Liar, Liar, saying embarrassingly honest things about the author. In case you haven't pegged him as this week's POW, he has a Nosebleed Of Death!
Up in Mission Control, 13 has the POW's file in her hot little hands. She compares this guy to a famous old medical case involving a railroad spike to the head and a changed personality. Everyone is excited. I don't know why, because this is nothing new. POWs switch personalities after every commercial break. In fact, we already had a POW who had Brutally Honest Disease, back in Season 2 or 3 or thereabouts. There was also a POW who changed personalities depending on the person they were talking to. Now that was cool. This guy is just House with a conscience. Hey, maybe that's the point... naaah.
The POW is playing cards with his daughter in his hospital room, and he seems like a nice guy. He keeps losing because he's telling his daughter what he has in his hand. LOL. He happens to let drop that the girl has "an auditory processing disability". Meaning she never listens. Relevant? Nah, it couldn't be. Louie is going to do a Total Recall and stick something up the POW's nose. The fireworks start when the POW says Louie has a big nose. For his next trick, he makes fun of his wife's job, and she walks out. "Make this go away," he begs. Never! It's awesome. Remember how I said I liked that the show was starting to make fun of itself? That's been the one redeeming quality of the season. This just might get good.
House has tickets for a monster truck rally and he invites Wilson to come with. House should blend right in with the jorts-and-mullets crowd. How many of those can there be in Princeton, anyway? One less, because Wilson says he's not interested in going. My, but Wilson is being brutally honest this week. THEME! House makes his Sherlock face and says Wilson is still hiding something. Kumar interrupts the interrogation to bring the news flash that the POW does not have cancer of the nose. Diarrhea of the mouth, maybe. Wilson makes the obvious comparison between the POW and House. Except this guy can be cured of saying nasty things, says Kumar. "But he'll always be the guy who thinks them," House points out. Wilson thinks the nice-guy persona is just as much a part of him. "You would, you're all persona." OOoooo. So the POW is House on the inside and Wilson on the outside. This shiz is getting deep, y'all. Z0MG, says Kumar, the POW is Harry Potter. His personality was supposed to put him in Slytherin, but chose Gryffindor instead. You-Know-Who tells Longbottom to run along and find the POW's dain bramage. And if I'm not mistaken, that was this week's Silly Analogy. Glad we got that over with.
Is that a Gryffindor sweater under that lab coat, fanboy?
In the next scene we find Ron and Hermione-I mean Foreteen-doing the brain scanning. Which means someone other than House gets to do the sexist remarks. The POW starts undressing 13 with his mouth-eww, that didn't work as well as I hoped. Anyway, who should enter but Cuddy, paged by House so she wouldn't miss this stimulating conversation. The POW thinks Cuddy is hotter than 13, and to prove it he uses tasty words like "elephant", "pistons" and "homo sapiens". Yes, in case you didn't get the irony, this guy is an editor who's lost the ability to edit himself. I know, right?
Cuddy drags House out from where he's been hiding and watching-do hospitals really need those police-style interrogation rooms with two-way mirrors?-and House says he called her in to stroke her ego. "So that was your way of saying I look good today?" House leaves and she smiles to herself, duly flattered.
I think we all know who has the real dain bramage here.
« Rock of Love Bus: What? You Can't Do Something Nice for Someone? | Main | Keeping Up With The Kardashians : Free Khloe »