"Until this injustice is righted, I'm going to waste $13,000 a day," House whines, childishly throwing tongue depressors everywhere. Cameron is working on a patient who is now wishing he went to county instead. No you don't dude, they would just pick the depressors up from the floor and use them as if nothing had happened.
Oh, really mature, House
House then begins snapping latex gloves and throwing them around. Seriously, have you ever noticed every company has that one nudge that just seems to ruin it for everyone else? Why does every company have that one person who just can't seem to get fired no matter how large a jerk they are?
"You'll have to survive on broadcast networks alone," Cameron says.
"I'm fine on Tuesdays," House responds. Good one. You know, because House is on Tuesday nights. Kudos to you House, for plugging House while on House.
Back to the real patient, Dr. Mira, Kumar is explaining how they are going to try to break up the kidney stone. "If sound waves from the Flaw Detector safely break the egg, it should dissolve your kidney stone." No seriously, my closed captioning said Flaw Detector. I never thought of using one of those, but I would totally keep one with me for Saturday nights at the bars to avoid any confusion/wasted time. You know, right next to my taser (see "celibacy" next to "Dear Crabby and").
They stare at the screen and about 20 feet from the web cam is Dr. Mira. Come closer, Clarice, it's hard to see you that far away. Femoral artery guy is also there, on crutches. Wow, that is some glue holding that artery together. It seems like damage like that might require surgery which necessitates a surgeon which would negate the need for House, which I guess answers my question as to why they didn't pack up a doctor with the band-aids.
"This isn't going to work," Dr. Mira says. Wah-wah-wahhh. Thanks Debbie Downer.
"There's no reason it shouldn't. Sound waves are sound waves, stones are stones," Kumar replies. Or did he say "Stoned and stoned," because for him, that would work too. Or maybe "The Stones are stoned." They both work!
"Some are bigger than others. Some are inside me." Sounds like the beginning of a Hustler letter.
House enters and asks, "How's it going Team MacGyver?" Hey, just because the writer's are on strike is no reason to steal my jokes.
"Are you Dr. House? I was wondering when you might drop by," Dr. Mira says coming closer.
"Think Jagger shows up for the sound check?" No, you know why? He's stoned. Read the recap!
He tells the kids to go bug Cameron until she makes a mistake in the ER and he can use it against her to get cable. Yes, she holds just that much power in the hospital. She should sue him for harassment and retire on the money the hospital would be only too happy to pay out.
Dr. Mira begins the sound wave test on the egg, which breaks. So there's no doctor down there, but they have fresh eggs from...the penguins? Seem like Egg Beaters would have been the better way to go. Then the glass breaks. Just like Dr. Mira would if they did the test on her. Uh, next time, turn the machine off when the egg breaks, honey, not when your torso does.
It worked!
D'OH!
"I am not doing this," she says. And there's the reason I am not a doctor. Because I would say "Okay fine, sign this waiver," and I'd leave.
Dr. Mira says their kidney stone theory hinges on her having had sex, then through some playful banter reveals to House she likes to be on top. I think you are allowed to keep that kind of stuff from your doctor unless you are having knee problems, right? She says she's there to do a psychological study of people, so it would not be wise to "swap fluid" with her "subjects." Klassy with a K, this one. Also, this seems kind of ironic if you've seen the show and know what happens with her fluids.
House argues with Dr. Mira for what I'm guessing is probably $79 a minute in video conferencing cost about who is a real doctor and who's in charge of who's body, blah, blah, blah sexual tension. Oh, I blah-blah-blahed it, you read correctly.
"Are you able to run a Chem 7?" House asks her. I love Chem 7, so much luckier than Chem 13. "That will be able to tell us if her kidneys are declining." So perhaps you should have run that test first instead of wasting an egg? Good doctoring, House. Per usual.
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Comments (2)
Great recap, I didn't think we would ever see one for this episode. I really liked the Mira/House dynamic. I would love to see her in another guest spot.
1 of 2 | Posted by Fitz | Posted on February 14, 2008 11:40 AM
I really enjoyed this episode, but not nearly as much as I enjoyed your recap.
Honestly, I was laughing out loud like a mental patient.
Great job! You made my day.
2 of 2 | Posted by treeqtr | Posted on February 14, 2008 8:36 PM