So our episode description promises "Foreman and Thirteen's relationship progresses". Who knew? That's right, I did. For like a month now. Also that "Cuddy receives an unexpected gift". Hmm, given that the episode title is "Joy to the World", I'm guessing she gets the baby back for at least one episode. The baby's name was Joy, remember? Get it? Well, enough prognosticating, let's hit play and see what we see.
We're backstage with a jazz choir at a private school Christmas pageant. Two Mean Girls are trying to talk your average Overweight Misfit into some kind of prank backstage. In the middle of their song, Misfit Girl starts to sing a line about one of their teachers, gets dizzy and blows chunks all over the footlights.
Someone's had a few too many sugarplums.
Cuddy reads House and Co. the case. Hallucinations, vomiting, liver failure, and a partridge in a pear tree. House notices that Foreman's taking a vacation day, but 13 isn't, then accuses Cuddy of hanging around because she's interested in him. OK, he actually says Louie's name instead of his own, but even Louie isn't fooled. They notice a present for House on the table. House tosses it in the trash and wonders why it didn't explode. Louie gets it back out and opens it. It's an old surgery book. House tosses it again anyway. The Houseguests keep bugging him about it and House, who actually looks like his goat is being gotten, changes the subject. "Depending on where this school falls on the Heathers scale," maybe the Mean Girls drugged her.
Kumar and Chase are interviewing the students. They've taken a little field trip to the OR observation room, with no teacher present. Who signed those permission slips? That's not even the POW down there, but they're trying to scare the kids into confessing. Kumar asks one of the Mean Girls what she did. She barely looks up from texting. The other Mean Girl says they gave her shrooms, and blames to the boy who gave them to her. Mean Girl #1, a sucker for an accent and raggedy sideburns, hangs around to bat her eyes at Chase and ask how much trouble she's in.
Foreman and 13 are doing Sexy Medical Tai Chi in the testing room. I'm sure that's an official treatment regimen and all, but I bet it's not as hot when he does it to Tank Girl. Speaking of Tank Girl, 13 asks where she's been lately. Foreman says she dropped out but he doesn't know why--he only breaks into the homes of patients whose pants he wants to get into. She leaves him her clipboard and it has a little Post-it thank-you note stuck on it along with a gift certificate to a spa. Looks like a booty call to me, bro.
Or a prescription for Sexual Healing.
Loumar is breaking into a locker (don't they have teachers for that?) and talking about House's mysterious gift. They think he's messing with them--remember Secret Santa from last season? Louie finds a big bottle of painkillers in the POW's closet, so it seems she's drugging herself. What, and let the Mean Girls off the hook? Come on, we love to hate on our Mean Girls in America.
Meanwhile, Cuddy is trying to make BFFs with the POW. "High school wasn't that different when I was there," she says. That's because you never left, my dear. Cuddy tells the girl's parents they have to give her some drug to save her liver, and if she's on some other drugs, it could kill her, so you know, you better be sure you know your daughter first. Is that Sherilyn Fenn playing the mom? Yes, I cheated and looked at the credits. Because wow. I guess it's been awhile since Twin Peaks.
The boys ask Wilson about House's present. He guesses the green wrapping paper correctly, and says it's from some patient House fell for once upon a time. He's laying it on way too thick. Sure enough, it's the gift Wilson gave House last year and House is just messing with them.
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Comments (9)
Nice recap. I always wait for yours.
I never realized Louie's name was Taub on the show. All this time I was calling him Louie and Kutner, Kumar.
1 of 9 | Posted by kissmymanolos | Posted on December 13, 2008 9:03 PM
What, no mention of Cuddy's horrendous bangs?
Good recap, besides.
2 of 9 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on December 14, 2008 7:00 AM
I call B.S. on that "the grandparents don't want the baby--their granddaughter." Well, even if they don't want the last part of their daughter that is left, and their granddaughter, what about the baby daddy and HIS parents? Plus, there's nothing a lawyer can do about getting the baby for Cuddy unless both sets of grandparents and the daddy sign away their rights.
But, hey, it's Christmas.
3 of 9 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on December 14, 2008 7:52 PM
Thanks for the recap.
My GF and I both had trouble believing neither of the grandparents would have wanted the baby, too.
Cuddy ought to be coming down with PTSD (or at least a good old fashioned nervous breakdown) by now - with all the stress she's had in a short period of time.
4 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 15, 2008 12:38 PM
So I finally got to watch SNL. I was hoping for a House skit, since NBC owns both properties, but no such luck. I'd say the best skit was the Bronx Beat one. Here's a quick recap:
Hugh says random words in his real accent while Amy and Maya try to crack him up.
Got it? Good. I'll post a Hulu or YouTube link if I can find one back at my computer... typing left-handed on an iPhone is only fun for so long. The things I do for y'all.
5 of 9 | Posted by copyhacker | Posted on December 15, 2008 8:19 PM
This was far and away the worst episode of House that I've ever seen. It was pitifully bad. It jumped the shark when it fired-but-didn't-fire House's original team and put together the idiotic competition. This episode will be seen as a new low. A worse-than-shark-jumping low.
6 of 9 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on December 16, 2008 9:39 AM
Memememe: but how do you REALLY feel?
I'd definitely put this one in the bottom half of the season so far, but I think there have been worse. Any of the Lucas episodes, for example.
What's weird about this season is that it's been so inconsistent. Like the writers are fighting over the direction of the show or something.
7 of 9 | Posted by copyhacker | Posted on December 16, 2008 10:42 AM
I absolutely agree Memememe. When characters start acting ludicrously just for the sake of the plot, it's insulting to the viewers. It's bad enough that they play fast and loose with the medical part of the show, naming medical conditions that have few or none of the symptoms that the patient has exhibited, but when the characters stop acting like recognizable human beings, that is really insulting. We may not all know about medicine, but we all know about the way people act. (I exclude House from this, because he isn't meant to act like a real person.)
I think they are on the right track with having more than one case per show, because it is too formulaic otherwise.
I couldn't help but wonder if they had picked up on the eclampsia sooner, they could have saved the girl. Of course, they can't really be blamed since she lied to them.
8 of 9 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on December 16, 2008 2:00 PM
to copyhacker: I agree with you. Except the Lucas eps weren't as bad as this pile of shit. (for me)
to pixielated: You and I are kindred spirits; except that I think the show's jumped on to the formulaic rails no matter what.
I'll be watching but I'm beyond disappointed.
9 of 9 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on December 22, 2008 11:53 PM