The POW squeezes a tennis ball as part of another test. He asks his family to leave the room so they don't have to see him suffer. Louie gives him grief about his suicide attempts. Kumar says Louie has baggage. Yes, I know, they have this conversation about once a week. Yes, we already know that Louie has issues about everything. But he's still boring. Also, just in case you haven't caught the similarities between this guy and House, his leg starts to hurt. Loumar goes to tell House, who is looking for a good lawyer--or, at least, the name of a good lawyer. House asks Louie if he knows any, since he's, you know, Jewish and stuff. Louie says no, "but I'll bring it up at the next World Domination Subcommittee meeting." Not bad, Taub, your comebacks are getting better, but still a little too highbrow. Try to aim lower next time. Kumar says knows a lawyer named Chris something, but as House points out, Chris "doesn't sound like a very good lawyer." What's he doing, anyway? Probably bluffing his insurance company.
But back to the patient. House is stumped because the pain seems to have jumped from one part of his brain to another. Now it's going to be harder to figure out if the pain is in his mind or his body. "It's not like we can chop off his head to see if the pain goes away," muses Kumar. "Why not?" says House. I'm betting this is not going to be as awesome as it sounds. He calls Cuddy in from home to ask for permission--aw yeah, he just wants to shoot the POW's brain stem full of anesthetic, which I guess will numb up the whole body and then if he still feels pain, it's in his head. Or something. What do I know? Cuddy tells him not to make her juggle work and the baby, you know, like everyone else who has a family.
Cuddy goes back home to a mess of a house that has New Baby written all over it. The doorbell rings and there's her friendly neighborhood social worker, showing up an hour early for the inspection. How conveniently spontaneous! Do they really do that? If not, they should. Cuddy is a nervous wreck, which is all the inspector really wants to see, because it proves she cares about the kid.
Have we set the bar low for parenting in this country or what?
Meanwhile, in the OR, House is prepping the POW for the so-called head-cutting. The POW sees House's limping and general sunny disposition, and they bond over the chronic pain thing. The POW says House has it easier because he doesn't have a family to think of--he can be as miserable as he wants, alone, all by himself. Yeah, sounds like a blast. "I left my family back on Krypton," quips House, which is funny even though I don't totally get it. Cameron looks on from the bridge in a vaguely meaningful way.
After the Not-So-Drastic Procedure, which sorta worked but not really, House and the kids are chillaxin' in the conference room when a large angry man charges in, leaves House a bill and charges back out. It's the lawyer whose name House used in the threatening email.
And the Lucas Award--for Shortest, Most Random Subplot In A TV Series--goes to... Chris The Lawyer!
After that little interlude, everyone gets paged and rushes out to find the POW's kid writhing on the floor and screeching like an American Idol contestant. House, unruffled, goes in to see the POW. Dad had the kid set up a diversion while he chugged a bottle of rubbing alcohol. This guy has zero game when it comes to offing himself. The kid says to just let Dad die and put him out of his misery.
Next, a halfhearted Name That Disease. Everyone is out of ideas. The best House can come up with is that maybe all the pain meds have confused his brain, and are actually causing the pain instead of relieving it. Take him off all the painkillers, says House. 13 bets House that he'd never do it himself. "Good thing I'm not the patient." Plus they're like Popeye's spinach to him. No pain, no brain.
Heeeeeeeere's Wilson! Where's he been all night? He's playing GBF to Cuddy, who is still miserable despite having her mothering skills confirmed. In perhaps the least politically correct, most awesome speech you'll ever hear Wilson utter, he basically goes off on women for always holding themselves to crazy high standards. Be more like a man, relax and delegate, he says. And like that, New Zen Master Wilson swoops out of the episode forever, as quickly as he came.
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Comments (3)
Explorers with River Phoenix! What'd I win?
Loved the recap too! So glad House is back.
1 of 3 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on January 24, 2009 6:53 AM
You won a free snicker, of course. I'll even throw in another one if you want!
2 of 3 | Posted by copyhacker | Posted on January 26, 2009 6:51 AM
Way late, but just some thoughts about naming the baby Rachel. Cuddy is the Jacob in the story, I think, because in the episode about that stupid crackhead mom who STOLE HER BABY (yes, I'm still mad about that) she worked really hard and did everything that she was supposed to do, but she didn't get what was promised to her, like Jacob. But then, she like put herself out there again with the teenage mom who died, and finally got what was coming to her. So the baby she has now is effectively her "Rachel". Like..her just reward.
Or they just named the baby Rachel cuz they like the name. Who knows with these writers anyway?
Love the recaps, thanks! :D
3 of 3 | Posted by Aquaria2291 | Posted on February 3, 2009 3:28 PM