Whatever they ruled out from the last round of tests leaves drugs as a possibility. Bubbles figures out that this gives House and Foreman an excuse to ransack her apartment. She won't give them her key though, so House uses the one that Lucas made for him. Yep, he has keys to all the Houseguests' places. Except Foreman's. House says Foreman is too boring to investigate, and come to think of it, he's right. Foreman has been pretty boring except for that time he got bloody eyes and almost died. Cue the start of a multi-episode Foreman subplot.
House returns from his fishing expedition empty-handed except for a brown recluse spider and... (DUN DUN DUN) an asthma inhaler. So 13 has asthma. House wants to know why she's so secretive about the boring details of her life. Um, maybe if you were a bit discreet with the not-so-boring ones? Just a guess. He has her go do a full-body search on the POW to check for spider bites. Which in this hospital involves standing naked in front of a window while a doctor runs her hands over your entire body. The POW is still interested in Bubbles, who makes it clear that she wants to wash her hands of this chick just as soon as she finishes doing the strip search. Well, until the POW puts some hollow-eyed sick person moves on her. Who couldn't resist that? Anyway, no spider bites, so 13 runs back to House to find out what to do next. He says to check for kidney calcifications. Aren't those what normal people call kidney stones?
House and Jimmy Olsen are on stakeout outside Wilson's place. He's playing Grand Theft Auto, and stopping at all the red lights. That's so Wilson. What's not Wilson is the hooker that shows up at his door. House is flummoxed. "But Wilson doesn't buy his... pizza." "Things change," Lucas shrugs.
Does the 30-minute guarantee still apply?
Does the 30-minute guarantee still apply?
The Houseguests are surgically removing kidney stones from the POW. I don't think you get to have surgery for kidney stones, do you? Everyone I've known who had them said they had to go through hell and back waiting for them to pass. If I never get one, I'll call it a successful life. As 13 watches from the press box, Foreman enters and gives her the thing from her apartment that she hoped House wouldn't find: a test result that says her disease gives her even less time to live than she thought. He tells her to quit partying and take care of herself. She calls him judgmental and walks. Down on the field, they're wrapping up the surgery when the POW quits breathing. "We need to intubate!" hollers Louie.
Medical reality check sidenote: In case you've never watched ER or that lame movie where Hayden Christensen doesn't go to sleep during surgery, intubation is when they stick a tube down your windpipe into your lungs so a machine can breathe for you. General anesthesia makes you paralyzed, so you couldn't breathe unless they did it. So if she's not breathing, it's probably because they should have intubated her *before* the operation. That explanation brought to you courtesy of Ms. Copyhacker, the medical consultant for this column and the person who fixes my spelling of big medical words. But enough boring facts. How could we have a Tense Operation this week if we bothered with facts?
Name That Disease, Random Analogy Round
The boys discuss the latest developments. House wants to know where 13 is and Foreman covers for her. Kumar takes a stab at the week's Random Analogy, which is really lame. Something about a distribution plant and deliveries, just to say that maybe her airway collapsed. (Sidenote part 2: if her airway collapsed, then intubation would have been impossible or at least ineffective. Came up with that one on my own! Hah!) I'm going to start coming up with silly analogies for everything. If the driver keeps taking detours, he's never going to get the kids to Disney on time. So maybe I should get back to the recapping. House has the boys put "13's carpet cleaner" on a treadmill to test her lung function. "And someone find the carpet," he barks. Hey, my carpet needs cleaning, come to think of it. I'll probably have to get down on my knees and do it myself. (No, my *real* carpet. In my office upstairs. What did you think I meant? Perverts.)
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Comments (2)
What? I missed this episode, but your recap was really weird. I had some trouble following. Especially when you started making vulgar references to carpets...? Kind of strange is all.
1 of 2 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on October 25, 2008 5:59 PM
I think the epi is more boring than the recap. If you didnt get the carpet=vagina reference I suggest you head to the nearest gay bar asap and brush up on your street smarts.
2 of 2 | Posted by thepinksprinkle | Posted on November 12, 2008 12:31 AM