Let's get right to it, huh? I thought last week was sort of an average episode, the typical "name that disease" formula. This show can certainly do better. Maybe this week?
We open on two women playing tennis. The sweat and hair are flying but I don't hear any squealing or grunting. I thought that was required in today's women's tennis. One player clutches her chest and wipes out. Cut to a construction site where a shipping container is dangling in the air from a crane, and drops to the ground. They open the door of the crane's cab. Out falls the operator, unconscious. And so on. The random victims also include a boxer and a tuba player. Looks like the Houseguests are going to be busy this week.
13 bursts into a lecture hall -- it looks like the same one where House auditioned his new Houseguests last season -- and disrupts the class. Hey, maybe she'll be stuck in detention this whole episode... Nope, she's saving the teacher of the class from a similar fate. The teacher had a cornea transplant, and everyone who received a transplant from the same donor is dead or dying. DUN DUN DUN. Theme plays.
I believe you're in my chair.
And we're back. Five seasons and I still have trouble remembering that House doesn't go to commercial after the opening theme. So I do the fast-forward-oops-too-far-rewind dance every week.
This week's orientation takes place in the morgue. We learn that everyone who got a transplant from this one donor is dead (well, except for the Patient of the Week and the old guy sharing a room with her), but the causes of death are all unrelated to the organ they had transplanted. One guy got a heart, but his liver failed. Etc. This is the sort of thing that House should be eating up, but instead he's mooning over Wilson while the Houseguests are brainstorming.
Was the problem transmitted in the donor's blood? No, the Patient of the Week (henceforth known as POW, since they almost never have names) got a cornea, and there's no blood there. OK, maybe it's autoimmune. That's the other thing they always throw out in addition to sarcoidosis and cancer.
"Or maybe it's cancer." Bwahaha. Considering that the title of this episode is "Not Cancer" (which is probably an inside joke, since they're always saying it's not cancer), I'm going to predict that it's not cancer. Or maybe it is. Isn't irony awesome? You win either way!
The Houseguests say all the tests were negative for cancer. House disagrees and thinks it is cancer for a change. Gee, now he'll have an excuse to go talk to his ex, the cancer doctor.
House limps down to the cafeteria and puts his lunch on another doctor's tab. Yeah, that pickup line always worked for me. He sits down with the guy, tosses back a handful of pills, and chats him up. He's looking for a new bromance, and I'm smelling a boring subplot.
Do you have any raisins? No? Then how about a date?
Foreman interrupts this awkward scene to tell House that the teacher's eye is failing. Did House just get blocked?
The POW reads an eye chart. She fails miserably and Foreman breaks it to her with House-like tact: "Sorry, we need to remove your eye."
Not so fast! House thinks the problem is in her brain, not her eye. "Which means we're gonna have to remove your whole head." He rushes at her with a cleaver. Fooled ya! She's hallucinating. "Hallucination... that's a brain thing, right?" Oh, House, you slay her.
After the break, the Houseguests are in the doctor's lounge watching a tape of the dead boxer's last fight. They're looking for twitches, dilated pupils, etc. Some dude who's fixing the coffeemaker puts in his two cents. He's a private investigator in a lousy disguise. House hired him to look up the dead patients' history, or so he says. I'll bet a whole loaf of this monkey bread stuck to my fingers that House has him following Wilson. Hide and watch. Worst of all, this guy is yapping way too much to not be a new regular. I hope I'm wrong, because he's seriously annoying me.
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Comments (3)
It is difficult for a show of this complexity to maintain it's cutting edge. We just expect so much.
I kind of liked the PI - partly because I'm pretty sick of Wilson, and hoping they'll replace him with the quirky PI. And there is time for the PI character to evolve.
I would like to see more Cuddy... and more about her. It is like watching the old Incredible Hulk show, where there was this fixed formula that the writers wrote each episode around. And it is all about House so it is hard to feel very connected to any other character.
Thanks!
1 of 3 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on September 26, 2008 9:44 AM
I thought you were being unnecessarily kind about the quality of this episode... IMO, it absolutely REEKED.
The only good part was when the patient's bandages get removed and we get that shot of Hugh Laurie's gorgeous orb-like eyes.
Oh, and also the Wilson-House exchange was kind of good.
The PI character might grow on you.
Anyways, due to the disappointment of this week's episode, your recap kind of made up for it. I was laughing the whole way through.
And P.S. what's wrong with writing Gossip Girl recaps?
2 of 3 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on September 26, 2008 5:11 PM
Malignant cancerous stem cells? whuut?
This show is tanking so fast. What on earth happened?
I did some digging. See, if any of us cared enough we would have seen this from last May (TV Squad):
~ FOX is toying with the idea of a House spin off. But you may want to make sure you are properly seated before reading this: the spin-off would not focus on doctors but private investigators!
In his latest "Ask Ausiello" column, TV Guide columnist Michael Ausiello reveals that FOX and NBC Universal are developing a spin-off for the medical hit series House. Next season, a male private investigator will be introduced on House and stick around for a few episodes. If fans respond well to the character, he may get his own series. No more details are given about this "House: P.I." spin-off.~
*vomit*
3 of 3 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on September 27, 2008 10:26 AM