13 finds Foreman at home having some quality cave time. NO GURLZ ALLOWD. 13 is sniffly, but has apparently read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, so she's OK with it. For now. I foresee trouble in weeks ahead when They All Struggle With Grief In Their Own Way. In other Shipper News, Cuddy thinks the case (the medical one, not the alleged murder one) is all that's keeping House together. This is not good, because right now his patient is on the floor having a seizure. She stabbed herself with the first needle she found, so she could die and give up her heart. She's still alive, but hosed her liver in the process, so now she needs a transplant. Problem is, they don't know what her problem is, and the transplant committee won't give her a liver if she's just going to die anyway. This is not a problem for House, who is all set to forge a diagnosis, until he gets distracted by a page about Kutner.
(PLOT HOLE OF THE WEEK: Remember Mos Def last week? His liver failed too, right? How come we weren't scurrying around faking forms and stuff then?)
Instead of telling us what the news was, House goes to ask Cameron for a favor. She says Kutner wasn't murdered. "Did you deduce that by taking off your sunglasses to the strains of a Who song?" Don't be jealous, House. Caruso has his shades and you have your cane. If you still had the one with the flames, you'd be about even.
House wants Cameron to talk Meat Loaf into dying and giving his wife his liver. Suicide again? Are they taking ideas from the last Will Smith movie? This is like some twisted O. Henry meets Clive Barker scenario. I can just see the two of them dying on adjacent operating tables as he gets her heart and she gets his liver. Cameron agrees to this, which I totally don't buy. It's too 24.
Also, we have to do it without anesthesia and use scissors. We're Running Out Of Time!!
Meat Loaf signs the consent form for the transplant, but Cameron saw some nodules on his fingers and thinks that means he has something other than lung cancer and he might still live. House doesn't want to listen, because he's too busy sulking. Kutner's parents' killer died a couple of months ago, so he can't be behind Kutner's death. Cameron's been on a hot streak lately, though, and she turns out to be right. Meat Loaf isn't going off to Paradise By The Dashboard Light anytime soon after all. He's not at all happy about this turn of events, though, and threatens to get hit by a bus so he can still give up his liver. House wants to go ahead with the transplant if he's going to be an idiot about it. And by my count we're up to eight uses of the word 'idiot' this episode. You know, 'nincompoop' and 'maroon' worked pretty well for Bugs Bunny. Maybe you should try them every now and then. 13 refuses to go along with it, but Louie agrees, saying he wants to prevent another pointless death. Let me get this straight: someone committed suicide, so you're going to help someone else do it too? Louie's not much good at this ethics stuff without Kutner around. He wheels Meat Loaf into the POW's room and tattles on him, wrecking the plan. Nice fake there, Lou.
Now it's time for Last Ditch Diagnoses. Sarcoidosis? Scleroderma? "Either we have all the clues and we're idiots, or we don't have all the clues!" House snarls, as worked up as you'll ever see him get, and you know what's really on his mind. Nice line reading there, Hugh. Then...
Lightbulb!
See, the POW said earlier that she visited her sister in Hawaii, but she was lying. She went to Rio instead with another man and came back with some disease. From the sand flies, not the strange. House says she was ready to die for him out of guilt, not love. "You can't feel that much guilt without love," says Louie, and he should know, and that line works on so many levels.
They find the POW a liver, but the treatment for Sand Fly Disease didn't work, so she's toast. Louie's going to stay with her instead of going to Kutner's funeral. What was that you said about guilt there, chief? Cuddy comforts Louie by saying her death will still be meaningful-it gave them time to save Meat Loaf, and now the world can experience the masterpiece that will be Bat Out Of Hell III.
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Comments (5)
I was totally partial to Madeline Kahn in Clue but Colleen Camp was definitely the high point of Speed 2 (yeah, I watched it, so what). She plays one of the people on the cruise and gives this cute explanation of how fatty foods are your friends. Well, any friend of hers is a friend of mine.
Great recap! I haven't seen the episode yet and was a little leery.
1 of 5 | Posted by kizarny | Posted on April 10, 2009 5:37 AM
When I saw the CSI Miami comic I immediately made it the background for my computer. David Caruso rocks my world on that show with his utter ridiculousness. My favorite Horatio-ism ever is "Divorce...of the future." If you know what I'm talking about, you appreciate it. haha
PS I am so sad about Kumar! But he has a great new job.
2 of 5 | Posted by amanlew | Posted on April 10, 2009 8:28 AM
Not Kumar!! He was my favorite!!
More power to Colleen Camp for just being herself and not a freaky looking, botoxed to the gills, facelifted weirdo. She was a knockout and she's not afraid to age and look like herself. Love her.
Why did they waste Colleen and Meat Loaf in this episode, where they were peripheral at best? I really wonder about the writers on this show.
3 of 5 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on April 11, 2009 7:19 PM
We all agree that the recap was great, but I'm of the opinion that the episode sucked. The writing was dreadful. And why was the entire hour BLUE? Good grief. The whole thing was bizarre. Add Meat Loaf and the lady, and it was nearly unbearable.
And one more thing. It bugged me that 13 was a pall bearer. Seems to me women don't generally do that, though I'm sure others would disagree with me. But either way, both his Indian upbringing and that of his apparently conservative adoptive parents would have me thinking it wouldn't be done. It was plain weird.
4 of 5 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on April 11, 2009 8:25 PM
My speculation about 13 being a pallbearer (I too thought that was really strange...) was that Taub was possible supposed to do it and she was his stand-in as one of his colleagues.
5 of 5 | Posted by tracy831 | Posted on April 20, 2009 4:01 PM