We're in a room with late-afternoon sort of sunlight, which is probably the director's way of saying this is a flashback. Closeup of a doctor talking to a pair of new parents, saying ominous things like "genetic mosaicism", "ambiguous genitalia" and "normal life". It seems their baby was born not just with both sets of hardware, but both operating systems as well. Which one will they choose, PC or Mac? And if they regret their decision, can they reformat the hard drive later and install Linux on that puppy? Now we're back in the present day at a basketball game. The parents are cheering on their kid, who does indeed look a little ambiguous, but it's a boys' team so you know which one they picked. In case you're still in doubt, check the school logo.
Subtle, ain't it?
She gets the ball. Which will she choose, shoot or pass? Decisions, decisions. She passes. Wrong choice--his (let's just stick with that one) teammate missed the shot. The kid gets the ball back, decides to shoot this time, and nails a buzzer-beater before clutching his stomach and falling down on the court. Cue theme by Massive Attack.
Here's Foreteen in front of a mirror. Want to take bets on which Houseguest might get a lot of face time with the POW this week? 13 is trying to pick shoes to wear to work today. Decisions, decisions. Do I detect a motif? She goes with whichever shoes make it look like she and Foreman are still broken up. Yes, in case you missed the subtle ending last week, they faked their breakup so House wouldn't fire them.
At breakfast, House asks before taking half of Wilson's bagel, instead of just stealing it like usual. Cuddy gives House this week's case. There is a noticeable lack of acerbic banter. Up in the War Room, House tells the team that "13's dream date" has pelvic pain. We also find out the parents haven't told him he could have been a she. He gets daily testosterone shots, but thinks they're vitamins. 13 disapproves, of course. I guess she will be handling Moral Officer duties this week.
(Holdupasecond: the kid is on a high school basketball team, yes? Don't they usually shower together? Don't you think he'd have noticed something by now? I guess it's possible everything looks normal at a casual glance--I could go do some research for y'all, but now that I listen to the scene again, sounds like he had some cosmetic surgery done.
Besides, that kind of research might be hard to explain to the fam.
Foreman and 13 have a totally unconvincing disagreement as the POW's parents come knocking on the conference room door. Hey IMDB, who is that mom? Didn't I see her just last week on some other show? Oh, she was on Heroes 2 weeks ago. I knew it. Love ya, kthxbye! The parents want House to do an MRI to check for something called a blind uterus. Instead of tearing the rents a new one, House just shrugs--"who needs med school when you got wifi?"--and agrees to do the MRI, even though they just rejected the blind-uterus theory amongst themselves. Kumar is suspicious of House's sudden attack of nice.
Louie and 13 get to do the pointless MRI. Louie takes this opportunity to sneer about Foreman's lack of personality, calling him "a T-1000 from Cyberdyne Systems." Did he mention that Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles comes on Friday nights, right here on FOX? So coincidental! 13 isn't ready to make jokes about Foreman yet, since they just broke up and all. That was a totally lame dodge. What happened to their mad acting skillz from last week? Oh, and just in case you were in suspense, the kid doesn't have a blind uterus. (Maybe his uterus has eyes, which is much creepier.)
Kumar barges in on Wilson and demands to know what's wrong with House. He's humoring the POW's parents, by George! House doesn't humor anyone. Wilson shrugs. "Maybe he had a great cup of coffee or a tremendous bowel movement?" In my experience, those two things seldom go together. Wilson's only advice is to enjoy the new House while he lasts, probably about 35 more minutes. The rest of the Houseguests are sticking something up a hole that nothing should ever go into. It's a scope so they can look inside his bladder. He starts having chest pains. We need a Drastic Medical Procedure, stat! 13 stabs the kid in the heart with a needle roughly the size of my arm.
I hate you, Pulp Fiction.
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