So now there's something wrong with the POW's pelvis and his heart. Drugs, maybe? Kumar notices that House isn't hung up on finding a cause that's related to the kid's she-male-ness. 13 finds something that might be vaguely related to the testosterone shots he's been getting. Something autoimmune. They always blame autoimmune at least once. Next!
Wilson's come to the logical conclusion about House, namely that he must have slept with Cuddy to be in such a good mood. "Sex with me would explain that," says Cuddy, twisting the knife in Wilson's poor little heart--but nope, no such luck. They haven't gone past that awful second-base scene half a season ago. Wilson is stunned that House is keeping a secret from both of them. Meanwhile, 13 tells the rents they need to stop the testosterone for awhile. She's pushing the parents to tell the POW the truth, and making progress on the dad. Mom won't cave, though.
More interestingly, House is down in the clinic. Yes! Have I mentioned how much I love the clinic? He's talking to a doofus of a guy with "13" printed on his T-shirt. Have I been watching too much Lost or is that supposed to mean something? Cuddy asks the Cameron lookalike at the desk if House is examining the moron with a broken finger. The moron should have run out screaming by now. House and the moron come out friendly. Something's definitely up with House.
13 gives the POW a shot that is supposed to counteract the testosterone juice he's been getting. It's killing her to keep the big secret. She asks if he likes playing basketball. Not so much, his mom made him join. The kid wanted to take dance, natch. So girls don't like basketball. Stereotype much, 13? New symptom: the POW's palm is red. He really is a teenage boy!
In the conference room, Kumar tells Foreman it's a good thing he and 13 broke up, so he doesn't have to worry about being cheated on with another woman. Cuddy and Wilson show up to confront House about his strangely human behavior, and find him asleep. No, not asleep--he's out cold and barely breathing. Foreman does something that all the Houseguests have probably been dying to do for five seasons.
I wonder if there's a medical term for THAT drastic procedure.
Cuddy gives House an exam. He's fine, except "my nerple is now purple." Dr. Seuss is back to his old self. He blames the nap on too much Vicodin, but Wilson and Kumar say they haven't seen him take any in like two days. 13 changes the subject and says the POW seems depressed, so maybe he's on drugs. House sends all the Houseguests out to do the weekly illegal search, and leaves with them. Wilson notices House isn't favoring his leg as much. He's probably on something stronger than Vicodin, like heroin. Is that why he was stealing cash from lockers a couple of episodes ago?
Foreteen is in the POW's room, snooping for drugs. House is on drugs, the kid is on drugs. What would we do without our parallel plotlines? Possibly turned on by the thought of being in a gender-ambiguous person's room with a bisexual woman, Foreman asks 13 if she misses sleeping with chicks. "Yes! ...But I also miss sleeping with other men." She compares Foreman to Rocky Road ice cream. He's the only flavor she gets to eat, but he's tasty and complicated and she would hate to put him back in her freezer where just anyone could come along and have a lick. "Can we please drop the metaphor?" she asks. Nice try, but no. I'm running with this sucker. If you don't get him home before he melts, you'll have a sticky mess on your hands.
And you: before you know it, you'll be Chubby Hubby and she'll be jonesing for Cookie Dough Dynamo.
Cinnamon Buns asks Rocky Road why they're talking about ice cream and he says that Karamel Sutra brought it up in the lab earlier. No way, she says, Vanilla was asking me about you! They know the breakup was fake. And if they know, surely Half Baked knows too. He hasn't fired them though, so maybe it's OK. They keep poking around Neapolitan Dynamite's room and find a depressing poem. And I'm never going to Ben & Jerry's again.
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