House is at home shaving when he gets paged. He ignores it. Then we cut to a commercial. Is it just me, or is that a weird place to end a scene? The editing seems off tonight.
Wouldn't it be cool if he shaved his head?
Foreman brings the rest of the Houseguests the word from Cuddy. House is out and they're on their own. This never ends well. He sends the boys off to check for pancreatitis, or scleroderma or something horrible, and keeps 13 back to ask her if she's getting too involved because her theory wasn't life-threatening enough. Noooo. 13 involved with a patient? I thought that was Cameron, but I'm starting to have a hard time telling them apart.
Wilson knocks on House's door. A smartly dressed, professional-looking woman is leaving.
Whoever's in charge of casting the hookers needs to watch some Cinemax.
House (who did NOT shave his head, unfortunately) says he just hired her to watch him while he slept so he didn't go all comatose again. He's putting on a tie. He's got an interview across town. And I'm sure they won't make him take a drug test.
Louie breaks some bad news to the POW's parents as 13 stands in the corner composing her own Sylvia Plath poem. The mom lays on the guilt a tad thicker and Cuddy comes to her rescue. 13 says thanks, but Cuddy didn't do it for her. Wilson tells Cuddy he's on House's side, because the methadone is obviously doing him some good. He's happy. "No, he's not," says Cuddy. "House doesn't do happy."
Cut to the parents sitting with the POW. Then cut to commercial. More weird editing. Are they having budget problems?
The next day, Foreteen gets dressed for work again. 13 decides to put on the pair of spike heels that she decided against last time. House isn't going to be there to make snarky comments, and besides, she likes walking around all day in uncomfortable shoes. Foreman gets some good news about the POW. He seems to be doing well on the new meds. 13 is suspicious, so they do a little brainstorming and decide that going back on the testosterone caused the improvement. Which means it's not scleroderma. Yay!
House wants a recommendation from Cuddy to take to his interview. She's not going to give him one. Instead, she worked out a hospital-approved treatment plan for him to stay on the methadone. He tries to negotiate his way back in, but Cuddy knows he wants to stay anyway and doesn't give him any of it. She knows this place is like Hotel California. You can quit any time you like, but you can never leave. House just says thanks. I actually kind of like this new House.
Maybe it's the baby-smooth cheeks.
House goes back to his office, still sans cane. Foreteen barges in to tell him the POW does not have scleroderma. They claim to have figured it out in the lobby on the way in. House asks what else they ruled out, and gets a lightbulb when Louie mentions dehydration.
Ready for the Big Reveal? The kid got dehydrated during the basketball game, and was drinking energy drinks instead of water. The energy drinks put a strain on the kid's kidneys, and when he got that first MRI, the contrast didn't get filtered out by the kidneys and started screwing with his system. House says it's all the parents' fault for asking for the MRI. It's also all Nice House's fault, because if he hadn't done an MRI to humor the parents, they wouldn't have gone down that whole rabbit trail.
In the aftermath, 13 goes to debrief the POW. Now the kid likes basketball again and I guess is going to stay a boy. "No reason you can't do both" basketball and dance, says the Houseguest who would know.
House is sitting at his desk playing with a pair of dice (decisions, decisions again) when Cuddy comes in to give him his dose of methadone. He's changed his mind, though. He's going to quit the methadone because it took away his edge. Cuddy begs, having seen the relationship potential in Dr. Nice Guy, but he chucks the dose in the trash and picks up his cane. You know, the one he left in the dumpster back at the restaurant? "This is the only me you get."
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