Just as the little girl is about to give herself an injection, everything starts shaking and the walls start closing in on her. She’s in major hallucination mode, and as she comes out of it we see she has cut her hand on the mirror.

House gets off the elevator with a bad cold. Uh, I can’t really bring myself to feel bad for him, no matter how miserable Hugh Laurie manages to look. Nine-year-old with cancer or grouchy old dude with a sniffle? You make the call. Anyway, Wilson wants him to stick around and help treat this girl (remember, Wilson is the head cancer doctor. Chief oncologist, if you’re nasty). House isn’t interested in regular ol’ cancer until Wilson tells him about the girl’s hallucinations – even though she doesn’t have any cancer in the brain. When House was a kid, you know he loved to burn ants with magnifying glasses and mix condiments with household cleaners and make the littler kids drink it.

House’s assistants (anyone want to come up with a pithy name for them? I’ll buy you a beer if you let me use it) are in pontificate mode. House sends the boys off to do medical things but makes Cameron stay behind, in an excellent callback to last week’s episode. He doesn’t want her getting all attached to the pretty dying blonde chick. Good, I don’t want a lot of her this episode. She’s already managed to annoy me by quietly, subserviently, making House a cup of tea when she noticed he was sick. I guess since browbeating him into a date didn’t work, she’s going to try the maternal provider role. When that fails, she’ll move on to studied aloofness, and then oversexed vixen. I bet she considers the articles in Cosmo very edifying.

Chase is setting up the girl for a brain scan, and we see that she a) could practically be a doctor herself, with all she knows about the procedure, and b) is a far, far better flirt than Cameron.
Since this episode is getting pretty heavy, we get some penis jokes to lighten the mood. House sees a guy in the clinic who tried to circumsize his own penis. With box cutters. We don’t get to see the damage ourselves, of course, but House says he needs to get a plastic surgeon to “put the Twinkie back in the wrapper.” Actually, right now it’s not so bad being a girl recapper!