The Downside of Sapphic Love - 
by Kat
Last week on House: lesbians! Whooo!!!! Oh, wait. They never even once wear lingerie. Well, on with the recap then. We open on a woman lying in bed, completely awake and tortured by the sound of the faucet, the heater, the clock, you name it. Her girlfriend lies next to her completely asleep until Hannah jumps up. Hannah says she’s going to get a glass of wine, but the next morning her girlfriend discovers her banging her head on the wall in the kitchen, an empty bottle of sleeping pills by her side.
Oh, irony of ironies, House is passed out in an exam room, a magazine over his face. Apparently Wilson is ruining his sleep schedule. Ahem. Cuddy suggests kicking Wilson out, but House isn’t hearing it. Ahem again. Cuddy has brought Hannah’s case to his attention, and House, ever so shockingly, doesn’t believe that Hannah hasn’t slept in ten days. Without REM your brain starts shutting down. I think Cuddy would know that. House is finally convinced when Cuddy reports that even an entire bottle of sleeping pills couldn’t make Hannah sleep. “I know what gets you off!” she says. I’ll bet you do, Cuddy. I’ll bet you do.
Oooh, trouble amongst the Outhouses! Cameron is accusing Foreman of stealing her article, something she was writing up for a medical journal about the little girl with cancer they had a while back. Cameron doesn’t give a shit about the patient; she is on a roll with her righteous fury. She does volunteer to give Hannah an optic test, though. Foreman comes in an asks if she needs any help, with just leads to more bickering. It’s tedious enough that Hannah actually falls asleep! Only for about 10 seconds, but it’s in the REM stage, which explains why she hasn’t gone crazy or died yet, if she’s having these 10 second naps occasionally.
Foreman and House discuss the case in the cafeteria as House sprinkles his drugs on his sandwich, which is Reuben. Nice callback to House’s earlier scenes with sandwiches. House decides Hannah needs to be kept awake so that she’ll display more symptoms and they can fix her up. Foreman gets bored of gently waking Hannah, so he sticks a needle in her foot. You know, Cameron is insufferable, but Foreman is kind of a meanie. Shortly thereafter, Hannah starts bleeding from her butt. Between this episode and the last, I think the writers may have some sort of anal fixation.
The Outhouses walk in and report that “we’ve got rectal bleeding.” “What, all of you?” asks House. Nice one, buddy. House orders a colonoscopy – without sedation. Man, he makes you love him with the humor and the snark, and then pushes you away with the extreme cruelty. Hannah is clearly suffering while Chase does the procedure. Cameron may come across as a bleeding heart, but I think here we have proof that she’s actually a self-obsessed troll. She has no concept of Hannah on the table; she’s too focused on her own anus. It takes massive quantities of blood pouring out of Hannah’s nose to get Cameron’s attention.
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