We open on a fashion show. Sex! Glamour! Energy! It’s all very exciting. Backstage, a blonde girl is complaining that she feels ill, but perks up a bit when the designer tells her that if she does well tonight, she’ll be “bride” in the next show. Now, I am extremely knowledgeable about such things, so I can tell you that most couture shows end with the designer’s bridal gown, so it’s a pretty big deal for a model to be the one to wear it. It looks like the girl’s manager/father is more excited than she is, though. What a sleaze. I can tell he’s a sleaze because he’s drinking Champagne. Man drinking non-celebratory Champagne on TV = big scuzzball.

Dad gives his daughter Alex some Valium to calm her down, which she washes down with booze. She heads out onto the runway but gets dizzy on her way back, and when another model has the temerity to ask if she’s okay, Alex smacks the hell out of her. Awesome! Before it can escalate into an all-out catfight, Alex passes out.

Next, it’s morning at House’s place (9:19! He gets to sleep in!). His leg is clearly bothering him a lot more than usual. I suppose we’re meant to feel sorry for him now so that we can like him again after the last episode. Fine, I’ll bite. When he shows up at the hospital without a helmet, the love of his life Wilson instantly figures out that House’s leg is in a bad way. Wilson wants House to go into physical therapy, and we learn that House has never completed even one session. Oh, that lovable old curmudgeon! Cuddy cuts short all this House talk when she walks by and announces all House needs to hear: “Teenage supermodel!” House walks into Alex’s room and instantly starts in with the inappropriate flirting. He’s acting like he’s never seen a woman before. Is she really that hot? Fellas? Care to comment?

Father and daughter are both pretty forthcoming about the situation, with the dad owning up to giving her a Valium and Alex seeming to be pretty reasonable about outlining her symptoms. As House leaves the room, he comes across Cameron, who’s lurking about in the hallway already worked up about House finding another girl attractive. She accuses House of being a dirty old man, but seriously? All he’s done is asked Alex about her symptoms. I see they’re moving Cameron back into her role as (cue Strong Bad voice) “The Annoying One!”

House makes a pretty good point about how Alex is “held up as the sexual ideal,” being on the cover of magazines and such, but no one’s allowed to touch her for three more years, and isn’t that hypocritical? It is, not that grown men should be allowed to sleep with nubile young teens, because then how would I ever get laid?