Hello dolls, before we get to another diseased episode of I Love Money, let's get to best news of the week - Rock of Love 3 is coming! What a relief! Really! There have been many frantic emails from me to Flippy in the past few months expressing my concern that the franchise wouldn't return. But it is! Whew! After the bore snore that was most of Season 2, close call! It was a slightly embarrassing moment for me when the news broke, cause I squealed like a little girl when I got word, and then had to explain to some people much more sophisticated than I what I was all bananas about, but who cares? Bret and his hos are coming back! This time it's going to be on a tour bus traveling cross-country, and you know what? I think it's a pretty clever idea. I'm all ready for a new batch of hos.
I especially will be when this one's done with me.
And speaking of the hos, I've also been meaning to drop a line about this Rock of Love Charm School thing. Sharon Osborne is hosting - loves that lady, she will tell these hos! And the hos she'll be charming up are: Muppet Daisy, Crazy Frenchie Angelique, Butterface Megan, Farmgirl Jessica, Token Roxy, Soccer Mom Ambre (who I forgot to mention Bret dumped, hence ROL3), Manly Aubry, Ashly (?), Granny Catherine 2.0, Courtney (?), Bisexual Destiney, SheMale Inna, Jackie (?), Cori (?), Germy Kristy Joe, Hooters Erin, Missi The Nose, K-Mart Nikki, Rode Hard Peyton and Ethnic Sarah. The ones with the question marks are the unmemorable ones but I wanted to give a complete list. I'm a little disappointed at how few hos we've got from Season One, but I'm putting it aside because I'm so damn happy we're getting another season with Bret. Anyway, now that we're all up to date, lets get to the skanks at hand. Everyone got some Lysol wipes handy? Okay, away we go!
So welcome back to Mexico! I have to say, I'm not a fan of the dollar sign adorned décor, but the outside of this house is pretty gorgeous. It's morning time, and the first thing we see is a close up of one of the blondes, and oh my, this is scary. It looks like she got run over. Is it Butterface Megan? Pumkin? Boston reminds that they're fighting for $250,000, and then Twelve Pack pours some water all over him in bed. Boston is so the runt of the litter, but to his credit, he takes it all pretty good naturedly. For now. I think I saw preview of him breaking down in tears, but as we'll learn later in this episode, tears aren't always what they seem in this game.
We also see Chance, and hello, no do-rag! He probably got up at o' dark hundred to beat the cameras, and you know what? His hair still looks like crap. White Boy's sleeping in this morning. Great example for the squad, Cap. Oh, and the rode hard blonde gets up, and duh, of course it's Annoying Brandi C. I can't believe I forgot about her "meth scratched face". It's bad, people. She should forgo the retarded dream house plan and invest in some skin grafts.
Girl, you need to start drinking some water.
Nibblz is swimming alone, and telling us what a blow it was to her ego to have come so close to elimination the previous night. She says she's got a lot to prove to everyone. Why is everyone on this thing so concerned with proving themselves to everyone else? This is one of those situations where the less they think of you the better. If any one of these morons wanted to be my friend, I'd have to completely reinvent my personality. Well, except Flasher Heather, that is. And perhaps Destiney. And Granny Rodeo, of course. Although, she's probably the type to invite you over for some Rodeo Rise and Shine Oatmeal Pancakes (over a week later, and I'm still losing it over this one) and then charge you for it.
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Comments (8)
I am so happy you are recapping this craptastic show, Chickbomb!
I can't believe one of these people is actually going to win $250,000. Can you imagine the consequences to our economy? If a chick wins, the plastic surgery industry will be recession proof. And if a dude wins, no stripper will have to go on unemployment for the next six months.
1 of 8 | Posted by angiemarie | Posted on July 18, 2008 8:11 AM
Great recap, Chickbomb!
Just wanted to let you know why the flowers were used: the first day of the 2nd Flavor of Love season, Saaphyri took someone's bed and the girl hit Saaphyri with a bouquet of flowers. Best. Fight. Ever.
2 of 8 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on July 18, 2008 9:08 AM
chickbomb - bless you for recapping this ridiculous show. I can't watch it at home in fear of total humiliation by my husband (who I've already gotten hooked on the ROL empire). So your recap is all I got! Good work girl and hellz yeah for ROL 3!!!
3 of 8 | Posted by taters | Posted on July 18, 2008 9:10 AM
Recap quote: Which, I suppose, actually is a pretty scientific description, cause it's literally a big stick with flowers on each end. Why the flowers, I don't know. Perhaps the Stallionaires shared their weed with the production assistants.
After I explain why, please shoot me for I will be banned from coming within 10 feet of anyone who has a brain and/or taste. But Saaphyri and that other ho (which by the way, name was H-Town) Anyway, she hit Saaphyri with a bunch of flowers she had and that is when she got beat down. If will excuse me, I am going home to die the shameful death I deserve for knowing these things.
4 of 8 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 18, 2008 1:00 PM
Kristy Jo posted tons of Pics of her and the other girls of Charm School...including Flasher and Psycho Herpes Lacey! Can't wait to see what Lacey does to Germy Jo, and what Flash does to Daisy. Why are Ambre and Farmgirl there?
5 of 8 | Posted by oodle_noodle | Posted on July 18, 2008 1:43 PM
It was actually 12 pack that carried Toastee inside so in any case it would've been Flasher who'd have been pissed. agree CB, there's something about Toastee's voice that's just really annoying, I hope she goes home soon. Also Chance and Real have been calling themselves the Stallionaires at least since their season.
I think Whiteboy is kinda growing on me, lookwise that is. He's not as ugly as I originally thought but wasn't he the really bad kisser? Great recap CB.
6 of 8 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on July 19, 2008 8:21 AM
The Stallionaires is the name of the group that Real, Chance, and their other brother have back in Miami. White Boy also lives in Miami, so they have all bonded since their getting "burned" by NY.
7 of 8 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on July 22, 2008 4:43 PM
Chickbomb, the minute Destiney walked out in that dress, I said to my bf, "love the dress, she must have borrowed it from Heather"...:) Love the Flasher and can't wait to see more of her!!
8 of 8 | Posted by kygirl93 | Posted on July 23, 2008 8:39 AM