This week on I Love Money 2, Buckwild and Saaphyri prove that reality contestants should totally receive Emmy nominations. Who can ham it up better than those bitches?
We open to Saaphyri and Buckwild, eatin' and chattin'. Buckwild decides she needs to become Paymaster so she can send home anyone in the world aside from Saaphyri. All they have is each other, they're just two criminals trying to get by in life! They decide to put themselves before the alliance, since almost everyone from their alliance has been eliminated anyway.
Meanwhile, the TMA discusses their alliance's status as the most important thing in the world. Tailor Made says that as long as a member isn't in last place, they have nothing to worry about. If the worst happens, however, they just have to win Paymaster. Basically the TMA is endlessly optimistic in any situation, which is a little disconcerting for a reality show.
While they talk, 20 Pack and Angelique linger outside, and they're decidedly less cheerful. Also, apparently 20 Pack is explicit.
Naturally I'm going to assume the blurred-out area is a dirty drawing, even if it's probably just a brand name. Either way, 20 Pack encourages Angelique to do her best in the competition. They're only safe if one of them wins. I guess they're cool with losing the alliance, just like Saaphyri and Buckwild, so that'll keep from awkward conversation down the line.
Time to hear the challenge deets! Craig's picture says they'll see which person can leap over the competition, and who will wobble under the pressure. It thinks there will be some leaping and wobbling, which is astute indeed. I'm glad he's still here to decode all these instructions. He's concerned about what they'll have to do, but somehow everyone manages to head off to the challenge despite It's worries.
The competition takes place on a golf course by a lake, and several beds are sprawled out in the water. Buckwild is shocked that golf courses exist in Mexico. She's similarly surprised to learn beds are used for something other than boning. Craig welcomes everyone to the competition and reminds them of the rules - Paymaster, Dead Last Loser, et al. This challenge is based on past "of Love" shows, like all the others. He says these shows feature a lot of bed hopping, so we're treated to some clips of that very thing.
Isn't that the girl who shit on the floor? I bet Buckwild enjoyed some dutch ovens that night. Craig says the contestants won't be hopping beds for love or farts this time, but they will be hopping for money. Fittingly, this challenge is called Bed Hopping. So inventive I could just die!
When Craig gives the signal, the challengers will run up a ramp and then leap onto beds until they find a moneybag. Then they'll run back and put it in a treasure chest before taking off for the next bag. The person to retrieve both bags the fastest wins! The catch is, the challenge has a five-minute time limit. Also, if someone falls into the water, they'll have to start over. With all that out of the way, it's time to begin!
20 Pack feels fairly confident going into the challenge, since he's one of the few people with any athletic prowess. Buckwild isn't as sure of herself, since she only gets out of her bed if she's kicked out, but she's the first person to compete so she has to get her shit together.
For all her clumsiness, she gets to the first bag within a minute! Then she runs back, drops it in the chest, and takes off for the second bag. She manages to finish without falling in the water, and she has a time of 2:32. Impressive! Myammee is up next, and she's bogged down with a swim cap and a life jacket. Already this seems like it can't go well. She goes for the farthest bag first, which seems like it could be a crucial mistake, but it's actually kind of smart! It doesn't count as a rule violation, and it helps her to power through the second part of the challenge. She clocks in at 1:45, so she kicked some serious ass overall. Everyone is appropriately confused.
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Comments (4)
Thanks for the recap BQ, I don't know if I can watch the show now that Becky & Entertainer are both gone, seems it will be less wild and entertaining, but at least we still have Frenchie! I hope they can get New York onto I Love Money 3. I also hope that Entertainer and Becky can cross over to VH1's sister network and liven up The Hills a little bit since they need a new star when LC leaves.
1 of 4 | Posted by mentallyretired | Posted on April 13, 2009 4:02 PM
I watched this episode while my bf was trying to read next to me. He was so distracted that he ended up watching the last 20 minutes. When Saaphryi said the thing about "flying up like a witch and drowning" 20 Pack, he turned to me and said, "Where the fuck do they get these people? And when do witches even drown people?????"
2 of 4 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on April 13, 2009 11:13 PM
"Where the fuck do they get these people?" - that tells u that vh1 does great in the casting department. Can u imagine someone like Saaphyri on the Real World or someone like Buckwild on Big Brother?
Anyway, I'm going to miss Buckwild her & Saaphyri make a good team. Buckwild - white trash, Saaphyri - ghetto hoodrat
match made in heaven!!!
3 of 4 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on April 14, 2009 10:11 AM
Very funny recap...thanks for improving my mood!
I just want to second that brilliant suggestion about recasting a show like The Hills with our favorite leftover VH1 famewhores. How cool would that be? They could just keep the same (ahem)script(ahem) in place but the Entertainer and Buckwild would play Speidi. Saaphyri could be LC. Myamee might be a good Stephanie Pratt, etc. I'd sure watch it. In fact, I bet that kind of show could win, like, a Nobel Prize or something!
In the meantime, why do I feel sorry for both Tailor Made and 20-Pack? What the hell is wrong with me? Oh God, I hope I'm not pregnant!
4 of 4 | Posted by LastCall | Posted on April 14, 2009 4:25 PM