Testimonials

She hits the water at 4:15, and she clearly still has time to compete. She's kind of screwed, but she's got time! Instead she stands perfectly still until the clock hits 5:00, so uh, Angelique's the Dead Last Loser. At least she made an effort? I guess? Her check automatically goes in the box, and the contestants will decide on two others to join her. As Paymaster, 20 Pack will send one of them home. He's pretty friggin' sure those two checks will be Saaphyri and Buckwild though, so he's not exactly looking forward to this job.

Back at the house, Tailor Made receives medical attention. His toenail got injured in the challenge, which is weird and specific, and that means we get a lot of revolting foot shots. If only The Entertainer were here to kiss it all better! The doctor gives Tailor Made a questionable shot using a questionable needle, and Tailor Made weeps openly. This turns into humming the national anthem to cope, at which point the doctor rips off his toenail, because why not! It's less than sexy, as you can imagine.

Later on, the Former Green Alliance gathers to mope. They won this round, but they don't have the majority so there's nothing to celebrate. Saaphyri decides they need to bring It over to their side. Never mind the fact that she tried to vote It out last week - they're sooo in love, he'll do whatever she wants! She corners him and tells him to be a boss. That'll help them to make a power move! Unfortunately It doesn't go for it, saying it's a stupid move instead. He thinks it's similarly stupid when Saaphyri and Buckwild decide to litter the lawn with his belongings. Imagine that!

Since that failed, the alliance reconvenes and decides to eliminate It. Buckwild theorizes that Tailor Made must be annoyed by It, so he might put him in the box. I can't speak for him, but I can speak for myself when I say ohmyGodhellyes. 20 Pack leaves to chat with Tailor Made, and he starts by saying, "Help me save my friends." Oh yeah, I'm sure this plan will go well. 20 Pack promises to help Tailor Made 'til the end as long as he sends home someone from his alliance. Preferably this would be It, but they're not picky, you know? Anyone works! Tailor Made immediately says no, so that's the end of that.

We cut to the next morning, when Buckwild is strategizing with Saaphyri while wearing plastic gloves, because of course she is. Maybe she needed to give someone an enema; you never know when that might come up. She and Saapyhri decide they'll have to stall the voting during the vault ceremony, that way they'll have a stalemate. With that, it's time to vote!

Everyone except 20 Pack piles into the vault. As soon as Craig tells them to start voting, Saaphyri and Buckwild start screeching. There's genuinely no other way to describe their actions. They scream about how one of the TMA has to go home, but the TMA joins together to start the voting process. Myammee asks who wants to see Becky and Saaphyri in the box. The five TMA members vote on it, which is all good until Buckwild pours a bottle of water over Myammee's head. As y'all may remember, Myammee doesn't do well with a wet weave!

It describes the scene as, "I turn around and I see Becky giving Myammee a bath. You know, I think her clothes got wet and there was no soap around, so I'd be pissed too." I cannot share whether or not this made me laugh, since it goes against everything in my soul to do so. The producers intervene as soon as the first drop hits Myammee, but...

Craig decides they need to stop the ceremony and bring some order. That means there's no stalemate in sight unless Saaphyri and Buckwild can act quickly! Somehow, wordlessly, they work together to create a plan. Buckwild asks for someone to get Saaphyri some water, and then five seconds later, Saaphyri collapses in a heap. She feigns a faint!

Buckwild drops to her knees to resuscitate her, but it all comes together really ridiculously. Only Angelique seems moderately convinced, and that's just because she doesn't know what "faint" means. For all Angelique knows, Saaphyri just got cancer and died. Craig stares blankly as Buckwild wails and grinds her teeth.

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Posted in I Love Money by Bailey Quarters at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: LastCall on Apr 14, 2009 04:25 PM.