We open to Myammee confronting It about Saaphyri. She wants to make sure his priorities are in line, so she lectures him about how he messed up once but it's all good now. Saaphyri listens to this from three feet away, and needless to say it doesn't please her. Another thing that displeases her: life.

Across the room, Tailor Made paces nervously. Since the TMA voted against him and ousted 20 Pack, he's afraid the alliance will turn on him now. It doesn't help that the PGA is conspiring against him in the bedroom while he woefully lingers outside. Awkward!

FYI, Prancer is looking super adorable, albeit slightly turtleicious. Prancer tells the ladies that Tailor Made is worried, and Ice is all like, "Whatever, giving our word doesn't mean shit! Fuck that, I'll tell you what you want to hear and then stab you, motherfucker!" Ice speaks as though she's in a really intense Wayans Brothers movie all the time. She tells us the PGA's first goal is to get rid of Saaphyri and Angelique, and then they'll whittle away the men of the TMA.

The next morning, Craig's picture summons the cast downstairs. He tells them to put on their bathing suits, and to hang on because they're almost there. Prancer instantly realizes that "hang on" is a hint that they'll be doing the stripper pole challenge from last year. Excellent! She's worried Angelique will do well in the challenge, although I can't imagine why.

Prancer and Myammee want to practice their pole-dangling before the challenge, so Tailor Made is awkwardly like, "Why don't you use my leg?" Similarly, why not use his dick? That won't be weird!

Myammee practices on the bedroom curtains, and then It rehearses by hanging on her torso. This is acceptable while he buries his face in her cleavage, but when he comments that her butt's soft like a pillow, she gets a little skeeved out. Those sweet words must be the keys to Saaphyri's heart, because we cut to her talking about her alliance, which apparently includes It now. Whatevs! She and Angelique brainstorm challenge ideas, which goes as well as you'd imagine. Neither of them think they'll be hanging from stripper poles, because it would be so out of character for this show to repeat history.

Saaphyri says It will do whatever she wants, so Angelique says it's Saaphyri's job to make that happen. Angelique really has no other option but to go along with Saaphyri at this point, so she'll say anything. Then Saaphyri tells her that Prancer, Myammee and Ice are in a secret alliance, which...wow, Saaphyri seriously creeps on everyone in the house. I can genuinely picture her camped out under the beds in the TMA bedroom. They decide one of them must become Paymaster to defeat the other alliances.

With that, everyone loads into the vans and heads off. They're met by a set of swinging life preservers, not stripper poles, so that throws everything into a cocked hat. Angelique doesn't know what to do with herself! Craig greets the contestants by reminding them of Flavor of Love 1, when Flav was going to see New York and almost fell into the ocean. Luckily for all of us, he grabbed onto a lifeboat and hung on for dear life. Going along with that, the most boring story of all time, the challenge is called Hang On, Flav.

Each person will jump in the water and grab onto a life preserver. Then a crane will raise them into the air. Craig calls this extremely simple, but considering the people in question, I'm going to veto that idea. Whoever hangs on longest will be the Paymaster. The person who falls first will be the Dead Last Loser and will automatically go in the strongbox. Again, no automatic eliminations. Boo!

The cast suits up for the competition, but that proves difficult for Angelique, whose boobs are too big for the life vest. For those who've wondered if there's anything grosser than Angelique's tits, lo, there is - Angelique's tits smooshed into Gore-tex. Somehow everyone perseveres and jumps into the water, but Myammee lingers behind. She's been avoiding the water for several competitions now, citing how dirty it is, but this time she's also missing her beloved swim cap. We know that weave cannot get wet!

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Posted in I Love Money by Bailey Quarters at 4:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)
Last Comment: BaileyQuarters on May 4, 2009 11:52 AM.