Going into the challenge, Angelique feels confident. She says her boobs aren't really big, but she knows how to hold them. I don't know if that statement is ironic, but I do know it's upsetting. Prancer is similarly delighted by the competition. You'll remember that she's only doing this show so she can buy breast implants, so this is like being a queen for a day! It must be fun to have such high standards.
Craig draws balls from a bag to decide the competition order. Tits and balls -- ho ho this challenge is witty! Myammee is up first. Craig gives her the signal and she takes off running. The obstacle course includes jumping hurdles, squeezing past columns, running through tires, balancing on a beam, and swimming to a buoy in the ocean. Myammee is remarkably fast at everything up until she hits the water. The boobs serve as a fabulous floatation device, but coupled with the life jacket she's already wearing, she's pretty much immobile. It feels like a half-hour before she reaches the buoy, and then she has to circle around it and come back to shore. She finally stumbles to the finish line with a time of 1:58, which is just shy of two minutes, not two hours as this montage indicated.
Tailor Made is next. He says no one will be able to beat his time in the water, but the water portion only takes up 25% of this challenge, so he is a fool. Sure enough, clown music accompanies him on his journey. He makes it through the first two obstacles, but promptly faceplants into the tires. Success! When he gets into the water, he pushes his boobies up to his shoulders so he can swim around them, which is a surprisingly good idea. He finishes with a time of 1:49.
Then it's Prancer's turn. Prancer leaps over the hurdles with the greatest of ease, which does little to support that injury drama. Whoops. She reaches the water within 30 seconds, pushes her face between her boobs, and swims freely. All is well until she hits the shore, where she starts running and then falls into a heap. Oh no, her leg has given out! Y'all can vouch that I'm a Prancer supporter, but even I have to laugh at this point. You can't gallop down the beach and then fall when you remember your leg's supposed to be broken! Somehow she moans her way to the finish line, coming in with a time of 1:35. Surprisingly she can stand and celebrate! My mind, it's blown.
Saaphyri is next, and she knows she's screwed. She smokes and also weighs as much as a chimney, so how can she possibly pull this off? She decides she'll only win at having a heart attack, but she takes off for the challenge anyway. Myammee comments that Saaphyri's challenge boobs are better than Saaphyri's real boobs, since the challenge ones don't have scars. Burn! This is the funniest part of Saaphyri's turn, which mostly involves her walking and wandering in circles. Her time is 2:14, so she moves into last place. Not to worry, though: It's up next, so he'll probably take over for her in just a second.
It interviews that he's going to use his Superman skills for this competition, which makes me sigh enormously. He's adept at the hurdles, but then he falls directly into the columns. He falls off the balance beam and doggy-paddles in place in the water. Essentially he's a total asshole and I'd like for him to be shot, just in case you wondered! As he crosses the finish line, he inquires as to whether he did badly. No, a time of 3:15 is very respectable. Insert eye-roll here.
Now it all comes down to Angelique. She does really well up until the tire section, at which point she thinks you walk on top of the tires, as opposed to putting your feet inside the holes. This could be a cultural thing, sure - I can't imagine they do this very often in France, but still, she just saw everyone else finish the challenge. She has to start that part over, but she's still in the water by around 30 seconds. She's actually pretty remarkable by all counts, but she finishes with a time of 1:44. That means Prancer is the Paymaster! Angelique whines about how this challenge wasn't fair, but I don't think it's fair that she's such an idiot, so there's that. Speaking of idiots, It is the Dead Last Loser. What a shame!
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Comments (4)
I keep falling behind on this show because...well... it's just not that interesting. None of the people remaining inspire me to care at all about whether they win.
But then the only contestant I actually sort of liked was Becky Buckwild. But she'd be much more interesting in an "of Love" situation.
So this show kind of gets pushed to my viewing schedule. Which is not as broad as you'd think. ;-p
1 of 4 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 5, 2009 8:39 AM
It's like a marathon...we've come too far to turn back now, and while we're hating ourselves, we realize how much time we would've wasted if we don't see it through.
2 of 4 | Posted by nashuaf | Posted on May 5, 2009 10:49 AM
I was actually kinda rooting for Angelique. She really was a loyal and kind person compared to the other. Not to mention I loved her subtitles. (lion instead of aliance made me giggle everytime)
3 of 4 | Posted by cansnus | Posted on May 5, 2009 1:04 PM
Apparently the key to being in the best position to win this game is being whoever I like least. At one point I had always hated Tailor Made the most and was hoping for 20 pack to win. Currently I would have hoped for Angelique to win and not minded Tailor Made if only because he played a good game. I felt Saaphyri pretty much sabotaged herself with her actions but felt that Prancer nor Myammee- especially Myammee did nothing to stay in the game and really her only saving grace was that she laid low and Tailor Made pretty much was the whole reason she made it at all in the game. So basically if anyone other than Myammee won (even It who although played a shady game still played with some kind of strategy) it wouldn't be so bad. After this episode I was rooting mostly for Tailor Made or even accepting of It just because both had a strategy that carried them through to the end whereas the others more or less were there because of Tailor Made.
4 of 4 | Posted by Reiray | Posted on May 5, 2009 1:32 PM