We open to shots of rushing water, the sand meeting the sea. I suppose this emphasizes the way life continues on even though Angelique's been eliminated, or maybe the producers just didn't have any shots to fill this time. No matter! Tailor Made reminds us there are only five people left in the game now. He says loyalty is irrelevant, so today he needs to make sure he's Paymaster.

Prancer says it's mindblowing to be so close to winning $250,000. Myammee agrees, but she interviews that the worst possible scenario is Prancer becoming Paymaster. Prancer's out to get Myammee and Tailor Made, so Myammee's on the lookout. Meanwhile, It is downstairs building a statue of beer cans and seemingly having a seizure. In confessional he says people don't realize how smart he is, and that his strategy is to let people underestimate him. I think he underestimates my hatred.

Craig summons the final five to hear the challenge deets. He says they're probably exhausted by this point, and this next challenge is sure to leave bags under their eyes. None of the contestants can discern what this means, so everyone heads off to the challenge. They're met with an elevated beam, which kind of sums up every competition they've had so far, except this time there are bags hanging off the beam.

Craig greets the houseguests by telling them if there's one thing we've learned from the "...of Love" shows, it's that it's no good to check into the mansion with excess baggage. He means emotional baggage, like having STDs and/or bills to pay. To make it to the end of I Love Money 2, everyone has to release their baggage in a game Craig calls...Excess Baggage. Boy, we're getting inventive in this last episode!

Contestants must make their way along the elevated beam, which is 300+ feet over the ocean. Maybe we'll literally get rid of a contestant in this game and eliminate some of the excess baggage in my life! The contestants have to release each bag from the beam as quickly as possible. The person who first returns to the starting line wins! The Paymaster will be guaranteed a spot in the final race, but the Dead Last Loser will be eliminated on the spot, thank fuck.

Time to suit up! Saaphyri worries what'll happen if she falls off the balance beam; she won't be going home then, she'll just be dead. I beg to differ - I think there could be a fascinating reality show called Returning Saaphyri's Ashes, but whatevs, let her worry. Once everyone's loaded into their harnesses, Craig draws names to see who will go first. That lucky person is Tailor Made.

Tailor Made says he'll focus on the beam, not on looking down to the foamy abyss below him. He starts off slowly, toddling along the platform, but then decides to sit down and hump his way along.

He successfully releases every bag, but then he has to scoot back. Admittedly the first person to compete is always at a disadvantage, so it doesn't really matter what he does here. Someone will always find a better way, you know? That in mind, he comes in with a respectable time of 2:02, to which he wails and grinds his teeth. Not to worry, though - It is up next!

It tells us he wouldn't run across the balance beam even if he had wings, so he begins the challenge by standing completely still and refusing to compete. Great start! He copies Tailor Made by scooting, but he mostly just rubs his dick back and forth. He finishes with a time of 2:32, so as of right now, he's the Dead Last Loser. Yay! Go back to the projects, my friend!

Next up is Myammee. She starts off pretty successfully, crawling along the beam and releasing each bag expediently. Myammee's in her element when she's on her knees! She finishes in 43 seconds, which is all kinds of ridiculous. She bursts into happy tears, but she reminds us that "Prancer the fucking reindeer" has to go out there and compete as well. Prancer's afraid of heights, so she's got that working against her, but that's never held her back in any other challenge. Basically, Prancer is fabulous! Who knows, though - maybe the elevation will make her leg detach from her body, and woe, her dreams and bones shall be shattered.

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Posted in I Love Money by Bailey Quarters at 11:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: shelleyh on May 14, 2009 12:55 PM.