Testimonials

Fittingly, it's Prancer's turn now! She takes off crawling and quickly releases all the bags, so her turn is completely uneventful. She's just fast and successful, and her legs don't break into a million pieces, so there's not much to report. She crosses the finish line in 46 seconds, which is good but not good enough. Myammee's the Paymaster! That is, unless Saaphyri can suddenly blow everyone away, but let's be honest, her fat ass is too wide for that beam anyway.

Saaphyri knows she can't be Paymaster, but she figures she can at least beat It. She'd have to be mentally retarded to be unable to pull this off, so let's hope! Her strategy is to walk to the end of the beam, and then release the bags as she comes back to the start. This is surprisingly adept! Craig narrates her journey as she travels, so she screams, "Please quit talking to me, Craig!" Apparently he's distracting her, but methinks she just wants an excuse to fall back on if she really sucks at this.

As she scoots along to release the bags and reach the finish line, she's already at a time of 2:12. She seriously has to haul ass to avoid being the Dead Last Loser now. She gives it her best effort, but come on, she's not a miracle worker. Her time is 2:43, so Saaphyri is eliminated! She snarls and swears, but done is done! Saaphyri's check is void.

She wishes everyone luck and says she hopes the best person wins. She and It share a loving hug as she departs, and then he fondles her ass. He also tells us in confessional, "I wish that she probably would stay here. I mean, even though she's my girl but she'll be easier to beat." That's true love right there! I suspect their relationship will carry on for many years, via love letters sent to her prison cell.

Now we're down to the final four! Myammee is officially the Paymaster, so she'll go on a Power Outing with the other contestants. She'll still eliminate one contestant tonight, which essentially means It just earned a spot in the final three. Relatedly, please kill me.

The Power Outing is held in the living room of the mansion, which makes it nice and easy for them to get wasteyfaced. Myammee says her goal for the session is to make everyone uncomfortable, "shaking in they shorts, like peeing on themselves right now." This is a common trend in the I Love Money house! She asks the group who wants to speak first, so Tailor Made volunteers.

He reminds her that he's saved her twice, and he worked tirelessly to convince It to vote for Saaphyri instead of her. That's basically why she's still here, so she needs to do him a solid and keep him around. She asks whom he'd like to stay, and he says she should send Prancer home.

Tailor Made says Prancer is the strongest, so he wouldn't want to go against her in the finals. I love that Tailor Made has to admit he's a total pussy! It agrees with him but It would agree with anything, so this doesn't count. Prancer feels sad that everyone wants her out, so she starts crying and begging for Myammee's forgiveness. She's sorry for alienating Myammee, but most importantly, she doesn't think It deserves to be in the game. Everyone else has fought hard to be there, whereas It is just kind of an asshole. Myammee can agree with that, so she asks It if he's worked hard during this show. It doesn't know what that means. He asks her to let him finish speaking, and then he just sits there. Okay then.

Myammee says she's upset about the day she eliminated 20 Pack. It just wanted to save Saaphyri the whole time. You'll remember that was the episode where Saaphyri threatened to quit, and a chorus of angels came down from the sky in jubilation, but then she decided to stick around at It's request. He offers to explain the situation, but that explanation involves squealing and drinking and making my skin crawl.

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Posted in I Love Money by Bailey Quarters at 11:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: shelleyh on May 14, 2009 12:55 PM.