Testimonials

The race begins with a coconut toss, which was one of the first challenges when the season began seven years ago. Once the contestants fill their net with coconuts, it'll lower to the ground and they'll collect what's inside. Then they'll run to the following challenges, and they'll have to complete each one before moving on to the next. The race will conclude at the mansion.

Craig wishes It all the best in the competition, since It is deaf, dumb and blind. That's It's cue to pop up in confessional once again, chortling about how he's actually intelligent and will kick everyone's ass today. These interview clips physically pain me, by the way. I honestly cannot take an It victory, I would feel like these last 14 weeks have been wasted! If anyone else wins, then clearly it's been time well spent.

Craig gives the signal and the contestants take off! The coconut toss is pretty much self-explanatory. Everyone handles their nuts superbly, but It finishes the round first. He runs into the woods to find the next game, counting on his X-ray vision to help him along, but unsurprisingly that doesn't come through. He starts wandering around trying to find the marked path he needs to take, which is kind of obvious since it is marked, and that gives Myammee and Tailor Made some time to catch up.

Tailor Made's net drops before Myammee's, but she's not far behind him. Tailor Made reaches the second round before anyone else though. Amazing Race fans, I hope you'll join me in reading the rest of this paragraph like Phil Keoghan. In this task, contestants will have to use a bicycle pump to inflate an inner tube. Once they break the seal, they'll have to put on a life jacket and use the tube to float along the river behind them. Then they'll grab a Travelocity Roaming Gnome and--okay, I'm making that part up.

Myammee shows up right behind Tailor Made, but he inflates his tube faster than her. Tailor Made has a lot of experience with pumping things, and he also doesn't need to dillydally by putting on a bathing cap. Meanwhile, It is lost in the woods. Enough said. Myammee manages to fill up her tube, so she looks out to the water to check Tailor Made's progress. He's already out of viewing range, but that doesn't exactly mean he's doing well.

The current is seriously working against him, and I'm not gonna lie, this made me laugh harder than anything has all season. He was floating down the river with his ass in the tube, and suddenly he's all up inside that raft! I love it! He struggles to make it to the beach, while Myammee flails around from a good distance away. She's concerned that the water is full of snakes and alligators and piranhas, oh my! She actually has a list of every sea creature in the world, but we'll just limit it to those three. Suddenly she starts screeching and convulsing over something biting her on the ass, so she puts her hand in to feel the animal. It turns out to be rocks. You may be wondering who the hell would offer their hand to something that just tore their asscheeks apart, but there's no time for such questions! Myammee must move onward!

Tailor Made reaches the shore with Myammee hot on his heels. The next game features a block of ice, and the contestants must melt it using only their body heat. There's a gold coin inside the block, and once that's free, they'll use the coin to catch a cab to the next station. Tailor Made climbs atop the ice and starts rubbing his ass on it, but when Myammee reaches the station, she uses her boobs.

Across the river, It finally reaches the inner tube round! Watching him complete this task is exhausting. Once his tube is inflated, he stands by the shore and watches some horses graze nearby, because that seems like the smart thing to do. This is the intelligence he's been hiding all along! Back at the ice game, Tailor Made and Myammee continue to whittle away. Tailor Made decides to work on melting just the ice around the coin, which is fairly intelligent, so I'm surprised he came up with it.

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Posted in I Love Money by Bailey Quarters at 11:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: shelleyh on May 14, 2009 12:55 PM.