We open to an introduction of the cast, as though we could ever forget those money-grubbing souls. Everyone looks startlingly presentable, although no one is exceptional enough to warrant their own screencap. Some notable absences include Saaphyri and Tamara, although Tamara isn't so much notable as she is shameful.

Craig tells us that all the cast members faced challenges this season, but for one person, the biggest enemy was the English language. He explains that when you're not from here, it can be hard to make yourself understood. Then he's like, "But enough about It..." and everyone finds this hysterical!

We're treated to a montage of Angelique talking about being naked, which has nothing to do with her English comprehension. It actually makes the show look more ridiculous than Angelique herself, which is a feat indeed. The clips also involve her love for 20 Pack, which is both unrelated and uninteresting. Angelique finally wanders up to the stage wearing her finest Barbie outfit, and she speaks rapid-fire French just to spite all of us. Oddly the caption shows perfect French, which is sort of marvelous since the captions have never nailed anything she's said in English over the past 15 weeks.

Craig asks Angelique if the cast was surprised by her athleticism, and she says people probably forgot she's a stripper. Um, yeah, I'm sure they did! She doesn't mention it eleven times a day, so carry on, Angelique. She tells us she would've blown all the money if she'd won, and you can tell Craig wants to inquire as to whether she'll blow him instead. Instead he asks why she wanted to quit, considering she's so strong and also a stripper, in case you've forgotten already. She babbles something about how everyone's a snake. This gentleman in the audience seems to agree.

Angelique informs us that even strippers are more loyal than the people on this show, which presumably tells you something about her character as well. She's a stripper! Craig then inquires as to Angelique's theories on karma, since she strongly believed karma would spite Prancer and cause her to lose. Angelique's theory is pretty much "That happened," so Craig asks for Prancer's response. She says karma didn't fuck her over, so I guess it was just that everyone hated her. Sad day! Prancer asks if karma caused Angelique's plastic surgery to make her look like Wanda from In Living Color. You know she totally worked on that insult for months, but I'll accept it nonetheless!

Of course no one can ever hate on Angelique's stellar surge, so she defensively attacks Prancer's. You might be wondering what surgery Angelique's referencing, because Prancer looked like the least high-maintenance person in the world. Basically that means she was a little unfortunate-faced if she indeed had plastic surgery. Alas, she's had implants since the show! We can't really see them since her chest was essentially concave before, but Angelique informs us they cost $500. Angelique's cost $10,000, so you know hers are premium!

Also priceless is Craig's reaction to it, like, "Eep, can you put it away?" The ladies scream back and forth about who looks better and whether or not Prancer looks like a 12-year-old turtle, but finally Craig intervenes. He wants to discuss how hard Angelique worked to get into 20 Pack's pants, but I swear he says "hands." That doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but whatever, maybe Angelique was really desperate for a finger-bang.

Angelique says she fucks guys who are way hotter than 20 Pack, but with the cameras on 24/7, she couldn't satisfy herself with her "vibro." I genuinely cannot imagine a time when cameras have ever stopped her before, but so be it!

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Posted in I Love Money by Bailey Quarters at 4:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
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