We open to everyone sunbathing, most notably Angelique and 20 Pack, who are cuddled tightly. I genuinely think that's the grossest couple imaginable, if only because 20 Pack is moderately good looking and Angelique looks like Gumby. It would be socially acceptable if they were both ugly, but whatevs. The Entertainer whines about the heat and wanders inside to sulk, which he's doing a lot of since Buddha is still around. Just in case you didn't know, he's not a Buddha fan, okay? Okay.

It seems Buddha has similar feelings, which he spouts to T-Weed, who echoes them completely. Literally, he legit repeats every single thing Buddha says. I'm still not sure if maybe this is an issue on the file I'm viewing, but really, this is I Love Money so stupid shit is to be expected. Regardless, they both agree The Entertainer sucks. You'd think that's a pretty common denominator, but Onyx tells us in confessional that he still feels loyal to The Entertainer, despite being on the opposing team. Onyx is a raptor though, so I say his opinion is moot.

Buddha moves through the house to talk game with his team, except he can't remember who's on the Green Team with him. You can imagine this is a problem. He asks Leilene if Ice is on their team, but she's so caught up in staring at him, she can't focus on anything he's saying. She's also lying in bed shirtless, because natch.

Leilene wants to fuck Buddha, so she tells him as much. Grand! He replies that she scares him, so she goes into greater detail about how she really wants to fuck him. FYI, this is a great way to endear yourself to a homeless person or criminal, but not to a person who is already frightened of you. He consents that he likes her, but only if she promises she's not crazy.

In confession, he tells us Leilene is a dumb whore, and he tells the same deets to his team shortly after. It goes poorly, especially because Buckwild takes Leilene's side, and it's all just awkward. Everyone's had that moment where they go to tell a great story, but they come out looking like the crazy person. Enter Buddha!

Craig pages the contestants to the kitchen to listen to the challenge info, which is a really remarkable use of technology. If you recall from last season, everyone had to huddle around a shitty T-Mobile cell phone to get the details. I hope they had this intercom technology all along and just never thought to use it. Craig tells the cast to pick new team captains and then change into team uniforms, which seems like an overwhelming amount of assignments for them.

The Green Team immediately nominates Myammee for team captain, and the Gold Team chooses Heat. The whole process takes 15 seconds max, which is such a drastic change from every other reality show ever. Don't these fools know they're supposed to fill 40 minutes with this? Alas, they use the time to let The Entertainer and Buddha yell at each other about how the other one is going down, et al. Leilene assumes this means Buddha will go down on her.

The contestants pile into vans and head to the challenge. Craig welcomes the cast to the location, and he names it like he's speaking one of those tongue-clicking languages. A Google search can provide no results in Mexico that sound anything like his pronunciation, which kind of delights me! Anyway, apparently they're at the Tangaloonga In Et, just for reference. The challenge is set up with a boxing ring hovering over a body of water, and Craig says this is a spinoff of the boxing challenge in I Love New York 1. Onyx ponders how he can throw the competition, but recognizes that it'll be difficult since he's a dinosaur.

Craig reviews the rules, which are mostly what you'd imagine. People get into the ring and box; the losers have a chance of falling 900 feet into the ocean. The Gold Team picks The Entertainer to go first, so naturally the Green Team chooses Buddha so we can see the Ultimate Battle! It's pretty awesome that we get to see this so early on, since this is the kind of dramaramz that could be dragged out for an entire season. Luckily I Love Money loves us too much for that.

« Survivor: The Many Faces of Sandy | Main | Lost: If I Could Turn Back Tahh-um »

Posted in I Love Money by Bailey Quarters at 6:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: BaileyQuarters on Feb 22, 2009 08:41 PM.