Myammee reluctantly agrees and Heat immediately sprouts a boner. There's a chance (albeit a small one) he could knock her out with that, so the Gold Team doesn't feel like hope is lost. Apparently Heat is a wrestler, who knew, so he takes Myammee out with little struggle. Gold Team wins, Green Team loses! Onyx squirms because he has lost doubly hard.
Everyone heads back to the house, where Myammee ponders on who to put in the strongbox. She thinks Leilene and Buckwild seem like good candidates since they're annoying, and so does Onyx since he's a betrayer. Little does she know, Angelique is standing around eavesdropping for the Gold Team. I sort of love the idea that Angelique is the team's spy - how much could you possibly trust her information, you know? Girl can barely speak English! She proves this by telling The Entertainer that the Green Team wants to send Becky and Lelief home. That Lelief, what a troublemaker.
The Entertainer immediately goes to tell Buckwild and Lelief the news, thinking he can convince them to vote Buddha out. The Entertainer is so friggin obsessed with this dude, it is unreal. At some point it goes beyond hate and into love, know what I mean? Buckwild promptly decides to stall the vault ceremony, that way the Gold Team will have to pick one of the nominees. This likely won't work, but it's inventive on Buckwild's behalf! Lelief says she won't go along with the plan though, since obviously she and Buddha are a couple. I mean, they're like married. Buckwild is just jealous.
Nightfall comes and a new day begins. The morning starts with Onyx telling Heat why he couldn't throw the challenge - because, um, duh. If the two of them had fought instead of Onyx vs. Prancer, this conversation wouldn't be happening, but Heat is not bright enough to comprehend that. Still, he swears Onyx will stay in the game. If history's any indication, that means Onyx will wind up going home tonight.
Soon enough it's time for the vault ceremony! The cast's pictures adorn the wall, and apparently Buckwild's was taken when she was 12 years old.
Seriously, when has she ever looked like that? Presently she's got blue hair and a face wizened by jail time, so methinks her headshot should be updated at some point. Anyway, Craig explains the ceremony to the Green Team and tells them to start picking people to put in the strongbox. They have fifteen minutes to decide on the three nominees. Buckwild decides she's basically going to filibuster for the entire vault ceremony, except you know she doesn't call it that.
The voting begins with T-Weed, who receives two votes. Buddha gets three and Leilene gets seven, including one from Buddha. Sad panda! She is bummed that he demeaned her intelligence, but also that he didn't demand her pussy. Onyx gets six votes and Buckwild receives five, so Myammee decides the bottom three are Leilene, Onyx and Buckwild. It should be noted that Ice voted for every single one of these people, yet we don't get to see any mention of voting for her. You'd think everyone would rage out and eliminate her, but whatevs, I can't assign reason to this show.
Everyone agrees on these nominees, but then Buckwild snaps. They've gotta discuss this! Why did people vote for her! Circus music plays behind her as she speaks, which is always fun. She basically ensures she's on everyone's bad side by trying to run down the clock, and she doesn't help matters when she tells Buddha, "You is full of shit. You think you just run shit, like you is God right here." Also not a Buckwild fan: the Grammar Police.
With 47 seconds left on the clock, Myammee finally tells her to shut the fuck up. They need to put checks in the box, and they basically have a consensus. Craig starts dropping the checks, but I disagree with this process because Onyx's name is clearly spelled wrong.
They caption him as Onyx every time he's in confessional, so WTF, VH1? Boo to you all. Anyway, back at the ceremony, Buckwild keeps shouting but the decisions are final - they have the bottom three and everyone except Buckwild is cool with that, so boom, ceremony over. She loses her battle with only 15 seconds left on the clock, and everyone totally hates her. So, all in a day's work.
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Comments (9)
Bailey Quarters you are a riot:
"She looks like one of those encouraging cat posters, where the kitten's halfway out of the tree and it's all like, "Down but not out!"
Seriously laughing my ass off...
I was channel surfing and stumbled across this episode. It's the most addictive thing. I couldn't help switching back to it every few minutes even though I found a really bad movie to watch. Of course I also completely missed how it ended. After Heat called Onyx (ix?) up I just assumed that Leilene was going home and switched back to the movie. Silly me. I'm so glad I read your recap, but now I'm totally skeered that I'm going to find myself watching this trainwreck.
Love your recaps.
Hugs,
Yenta
1 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on February 16, 2009 7:05 AM
What I like about this show is it's basically just Survivor for Skanks and Douchebags.
It would have been really cool if Prancer had kicked Onixyxisx's ass in the boxing match.
But Heat's choice was between a guy who looked like a dinosaur and a not-altogether-unpleasant-looking airhead who clearly is good for at least a blowjob and probably much more. Hmmm.
Oh and another thing...seems to me that Buckwild's got a wicked body there. Shame about the face. Didn't there used to be a character on a sitcom like that?
2 of 9 | Posted by itchy | Posted on February 16, 2009 8:31 AM
Great recap! These people are completely retarded. If this is anything like last season, none of it is gonna make much sense.
I would like to think they sent Onyx (Onix?!) home because they really are getting the stronger people off of the other team, despite the alliance. Or because letting Leileif (LOL!!) stay is the best way to sabotage the other team in the end. She's a nitwit.
And yes, Buddha is hot. He's also a grade a doucherocket and I hate him!
3 of 9 | Posted by jadestarla | Posted on February 16, 2009 10:37 AM
This recap is beyond hilarious but I must correct one thing:
She proves this by telling The Entertainer that the Green Team wants to send Becky and Lelief home. That Lelief, what a troublemaker.
It was "Vecky" and "Lelief" LMAO! That big piece of fugly french plastic is one of the best things that has ever happened to VH1. I would love a show where she and It had to go across the country performing jobs or learning how to read and write. Let the hilarity ensue.
4 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on February 16, 2009 1:26 PM
"Unfortunately Buckwild then talks about "scrategizing," so...nix that."
hahahaha! Every single one of these people are absolutely retarded! Hilarious recap BQ : )
5 of 9 | Posted by Lady_Ace | Posted on February 17, 2009 3:28 AM
You have to wonder where some of these people got their edu-ma-cation from.
6 of 9 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on February 17, 2009 3:54 AM
BQ u are SO observant its awesome lol
and this recap had me rollin.. thanks!
7 of 9 | Posted by angelbayyb | Posted on February 17, 2009 8:47 AM
let me just say it sucks that onyx went home because the raptor jokes never got old
8 of 9 | Posted by heykate7 | Posted on February 18, 2009 9:55 AM
I friggin' adore you guys!
9 of 9 | Posted by BaileyQuarters | Posted on February 22, 2009 8:41 PM