Testimonials

Everyone sets off! Each team makes it to their first clue pretty quickly, and it tells them to throw coconuts into an elevated net. When the net is heavy enough, it'll drop down so the team can collect the sacks inside. As a girl who's good at sack-grabbin', Buckwild immediately gets into gear. It never ceases to amaze me how she can transfer from ghetto-redneck to totally-normal-girl in about 2.4 seconds. As soon as coconuts start raining down upon her, she's completely accent-free! I know Flav addressed this years ago, but he also wanted to fuck her and that renders his opinion moot.

On the Green Team, they decide to let the guys do all the throwing, which Milf thinks is ridiculous. Milf has a penis, so she's bummed she's not openly welcome to participate. She'd actually have a better shot at success than The Entertainer, who struggles with the strain of the "15-pound coconuts." You know those 15-pound coconuts you bring home from the grocery store all the time? That totally always happens! Nevertheless, the Green Team finishes the first challenge quickly and motors on. The Gold Team continues to bean each other for another 20 minutes before achieving success.

Each team retrieves a dictionary from the coconut net, and they carry it with them to the second station. The next project features a piñata, so The Entertainer crosses his fingers that candy or toys are inside. What a satisfying result! Unfortunately the clue tells them to collect seven pairs of gloves and a key from inside the piñata, but The Entertainer merrily swats at it anyway. This leads It to critique the hitting efforts, because of course he does. It is so terribly athletic and strong and not at all mentally retarded! He stands back and watches while The Entertainer breaks it open with a rock, revealing all the gloves. No one mentions a key, but for all I know Milf's hiding it in her sack.

On the Gold Team, 20 Pack beats the piñata with a random branch, which is actually a decent idea! It's both less dangerous and more inventive than The Entertainer's method, which is not terribly shocking, I suppose. Heat remarks that this is "a safari from hell," which I thought was a dig at Saaphyri but...it was just someone using correct terminology for once. Weird.

While they struggle with the piñata, which involves Bonez taking the stick and vaulting off it like he's in the friggin' Olympics, the Green Team moves onto the third station. They're instructed to untie a key and at least one shovel before moving on, but they're free to take as many shovels as they want. Normal people would immediately take all the shovels available, right? Clearly they'll need to dig something! Instead, Cali insists they only take one. She claims the instructions say to take one key and then a shovel, in that precise order, so everyone takes her word instead of giving the clue another glance. As I predicted last week, this is the first time we've seen Cali speak all season, so say your goodbyes to her now.

Saaphyri theorizes that this is ridiculous, which means it's balls-out dumb if she can recognize it, but Myammee takes Cali's side. You just want to holler at these people to read, for the love of God, but that would be too simple. Meanwhile, the Gold Team nearly hoists Bonez in the air and uses him as a battering ram to break that damn piñata. They finally smash it and run to their third station, while the Green Team continues to fight over clue semantics.

Myammee is so insistent on being right, she reaches out and snatches peoples' hands away from collecting shovels. I'd take Myammee's word if they were debating lingerie choices, but reading is a little dicey. This results in an enormous clusterfuck, which is to be expected.

The Gold Team reads the clue correctly, of course, and expediently gets their task done. Happy worker music plays in the background like we're watching a scene from Enchanted. They take two shovels and leave the rest behind though, which is only slightly more adept than the Green Team. This is a race, y'all! More shovels equals more progress! I don't know why I'm ever surprised when these people do dumb things.

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Posted in I Love Money by Bailey Quarters at 5:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: BaileyQuarters on Mar 14, 2009 09:48 PM.