With that settled, it's go time! The Gold Team is pretty swift at starting their structure, but unsurprisingly the Green Team runs into some problems, namely It's existence. The Entertainer plays the role of Backseat Driver on the sidelines, hollering about how It is doing everything wrong. Admittedly It is doing everything wrong, so it's not totally out of left field.
I don't know if the Green Team is aware they have instructions for putting this thing together, but it goes without saying they're doing it wrong. Saaphyri and Myammee basically have to lift It's hands and move them into the proper positions to get anything done. Fortunately both are experienced in this department.
The Gold Team uses their instructions, but not well. Somehow their catapult becomes botched enough for Craig to mock it, which is delightful indeed, and Ice just stands back and shakes her head like any good captain would. They resort to taking the whole thing apart and starting from scratch, but even with that setback, they're still ahead of the Green Team. Jolly good!
The Gold Team finishes and hits the field while The Entertainer hollers at his team. Suddenly he remembers how to build the thing from last year, so he screams the correct instructions at them. Of course this begs the question - if he was one of the builders last season, why didn't he step in to do it this time around? Sigh, logic. He ponders that same question about 13 minutes later, and lo, there is rage! The Greens still haven't finished the catapult by the time the Goldies start launching chickens, although they do so with little success.
The Green Team catches up and runs to the field. Angelique interviews that she feels more better at that point, which is pretty insightful. I'm glad that made it through the editing process. The teams go back and forth fruitlessly, but the Gold Team comes to a standstill when they realize their chickens are launching in the opposite direction, ie: backwards. Whoops, so much for reading the instructions! I friggin love that it takes them a good three or four tosses before they realize the chickens are going the wrong way. Maybe in the first few tries, the chickens used their wings to fly in the other direction!
As the Goldies stare in wonderment, The Entertainer catches his team's first chicken! He even plates it successfully, which is truly shocking. Across the field, the Gold Team launches another chicken and...it goes the wrong way. Huh. Another attempt breeds similar results. At no point do they stop and retool their catapult, just FYI. That would be too easy! Meanwhile The Entertainer scores another chicken. The fact that the Green Team might actually stand a chance here says a lot about the Gold Team's level of fuckery!
The Gold Team keeps on keepin' on while the Green Team delivers another bird. Unfortunately it launches with such fervor that it breaks some of The Entertainer's ribs, but so it goes! To his credit, when Angelique asks if he's okay, he answers, "Totally, just get back there." This marks the only time I've ever actually appreciated The Entertainer, so make note. The Gold Team takes pleasure in The Entertainer's injury, as anyone would, but it distracts them from catching their one successful launch. On the bright side, 20 Pack claims he heard The Entertainer's rib snap, so...there's that.
The Greens plate their fourth chicken, so they only need one more to finally win a challenge. They load up their bird, and after an arduous slow-motion montage, The Entertainer catches it! Of course he has to showboat, dancing with the chicken and taking his sweet time, which Saaphyri refers to as "berry-walkin'." The technical definition of this is "walking as though one has a dingleberry in one's ass," and I will maintain this even if Saaphyri actually said something else and I couldn't decipher her accent. He gloats and kisses his chicken, inhaling a glob of salmonella stew, before setting it down on the plate. With that, the Green Team wins! The Entertainer is Paymaster! There is much rejoicing, although it's in a totally classy and respectful manner, natch.
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Comments (14)
oh jason =( .....
1 of 14 | Posted by angelbayyb | Posted on March 15, 2009 7:51 PM
I miss megan and her bikinis. there i said it :(
Love the recaps tho!
2 of 14 | Posted by sammy64 | Posted on March 15, 2009 8:50 PM
Next week, there is yelling! Buckwild calls Prancer a "turtle-faced bitch," which may be my favorite insult of all time.
With all due respect,my favorite insult's come from TVGasm's own Cherie when she writes about The Bag Girls club.(No it wasn't a typo).
Love your recaps too BQ.I save the time so that I can enjoy them with,Baileys.Nice nightcap.
3 of 14 | Posted by Robinez | Posted on March 15, 2009 10:09 PM
Yuck! How can you like Myammee? She has no personality and thinks she is the black Megan. At least Megan looked good in her bikinis. That shit that Myammee is wearing is like bargain basement, smells like feet, leftover from the 1973 filming of the sequal to Superfly, fugly lingerie. :p
I'm actualy rooting for the Entertainer's group because they are the most interesting. It? Angelique? Buckwild? "Safari"? Heck, even The Entertainer! Those are people with personalities. Those are the people that make me laugh!
Ice? Bonez? Myammee? ZZzzzzzzZZZ. Prancer is cute, I'll give you that, but the girl is boring as hell! Tailor Made is probably the only one in that group worth watching, but he is a bit creepy.
I guess what I am saying is this: Later in the game, when they are all on the same team and fighting for themselves, are you going to want to watch Ice, Bonz, and the rest of the snoozers try to out bore each other? Fuck no! You are going to want to watch Becky and The Entertainer going at it while Angelique and It give the color commentary!
4 of 14 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on March 16, 2009 6:01 AM
This was a very funny episode, so thanks for the recap.
While I like seeing the 'Survivor-like' blindsides I have to go with the Entertainer's group because like SnoothcyB says they all make me laugh one way or another and add to that I don't like Tailor Made. The only thing funny about TM is how he must have been too scare to say anything the whole while Budda was on the show.
5 of 14 | Posted by Dreamkeeper | Posted on March 16, 2009 8:13 AM
I'm rooting for Tailor Made's alliance Bonez, Ice, Myammee, and Prancer. Yes, they may be not as exciting as Entertainer of Safari but damn their nice ppl. Yeah, that's really no reason to root for these ppl on these shows but come on now.
Great recap and I can't believe this show is actually causing ppl to argue over whose alliance is better like this show is getting serious. Last season they had a freefall alliance u get in where get in this year I'm glad ppl are not just sucking up to Entertainer or Safari.
6 of 14 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on March 16, 2009 9:39 AM
I think the gold team screwed themselves when they threw the challenge. They obviously have the stronger physical team. With only two members on the other team the green team would have to put one of their alliance in the box. With Ice as paymaster she would have eliminated that person. By throwing the challange they left only two of the other alliance on their team and now if those two people throw the challenge they will have to put one of their own players in the box. They have less of a chance of the other team making one of their alliance the captain now and will lose more players. I think now they screwed themselves and I really hope so because I really hate Tailor Made. His voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
7 of 14 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on March 16, 2009 9:50 AM
i'm rooting for the entertainer's alliance. they are the most amusing and i have to say i'm a big becky buckwild fan going back to the days of flavor of love.
my favorite part of this episode = the power outing. heat looked like he was about to pass out at any second and i was laughing the entire time he and frank were talking. how does heat function in the real world?
i agree with flowie. so what if becky and 20 pack are the only ones in that alliance left on the gold team? if they threw the next challenge, ice, prancer, bonez, or tailor made would have to go in the box. so they still have the chance of eliminating someone on tm's alliance as long as they had the right paymaster on the green team to do it. so i see no reason for them to have been upset as they were. but it did provide for good entertainment so i'm hoping there's plenty more yelling and crying and bitching in general tonight.
8 of 14 | Posted by kmh5125 | Posted on March 16, 2009 11:22 AM
I don't know why they do this but they show the new episode 1 time during the day and the other at night, so I've already seen this new episode already and I think most of u will be happy how things go!!!
9 of 14 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on March 16, 2009 11:42 AM
At this point I'm so enthralled with Becky Buckwild that I don't give a fuck which teams wins as long as she sticks around for a good while.
This season is much better than last, that's for sure. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm watching a house full of Homer Simpsons.
Oh yeah, and it seems like each episode is actually played out over the course of a single day. And there's a new 'episode' each day. So these people are actually together for less than 2 weeks -- I'm assuming because renting the house for longer than that would have put the show way over budget. Chickens don't come cheap you know.
10 of 14 | Posted by itchy | Posted on March 16, 2009 2:16 PM
On last week's post I cleary expressed my feelings for Becky Buckwild and The Entertainer. I loathe them. Just STFU already! Damn!
I like drama. I like to laugh at monkeys who thow shit at each other just like everyone else but come on! I'm beginning to bleed out of my ears, eyes and ass...okay that last one might have nothing to do with watching TV.
My point is that I just can't believe that borderline retarded people can easily bully their way to a quarter of a million bucks.
Buckwild and Saaphyri were cool in Charm School cause theyz were ladeezz then they show up to I Love Money 2 like The Godmother and GangzStar! Two broke ass superhero sluts.
The Entertainer makes me laugh less and less. He reminds of that crazy old man who hangs at the Starbux who I thought was being deep and ironic with his thoughts and ideas but the more I stuck around I realized he's just crazy...and drinking coffee. Same with The Entertainer. At first I was all, "Oh, you so crazy!" and now I'm like, "Damn. You really are NOT sane."
As far as The Entertainer's alliance pissing and moaning about weak players still making it through...what about Saaphyri and Angelique?
Maybe The Entertainer needs to give up on Reality TV and look into dog fighting. Not pitting dogs against each other but entering the fights himself.
Also, if anyone remembers Prancer on FOL, she wasn't a little angel. Don't get me wrong I like the girl, but she can bring the dramz when needed. Once some of these people get sent home to receive the proper medical intervention (Entertainer: mental, Buckwild: venereal) I'm sure Prancer and Myammee will pick up their feud where it left off.
11 of 14 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on March 16, 2009 3:54 PM
Bailey Quarters:
I don't know how you do it week after week. How do you pull together a sane recap out of this completely inane show? I am not sure if these people are even people any more or if they are simply characteratures of themselves.
I mean this many people can't be this stupid can they? They can't have but two brain cells to rub together. It is hard to believe that these people are actually throwing the missions. To me it is more like they are too dumb to figure them out.
Oh well. What I don't understand or actually who I DON'T UNDERSTAND is the Entertainer. Why does he just all of sudden start shouting. I am afraid one day his head is going to explode. Take a deep breathe, deep breathe. I would be afraid to be his girlfriend because you know at some point he is going to end up beating her.
Great job on the recaps!
12 of 14 | Posted by areyoucliff | Posted on March 17, 2009 11:46 AM
Hey, areyoucliff -- it helps if you look at the cast as, say, a modern-day version of the Seven Dwarfs.
13 of 14 | Posted by itchy | Posted on March 17, 2009 2:54 PM
Amazing conversation this week, you guys! I love it!
sammy64: I miss Megan too! I like Myammee, but she'll never be ol' Whatsherface.
Robinez: Cherie is amazing! She deserves all the credit in the world for sitting through The Bad Girls Club week after week. Thank you so much for reading mine too!
Snootchy Bootches: I think I like Myammee BECAUSE her lingerie looks so janky! I didn't mention it in the recap I'm about to post, but she started wearing ridiculous weaves this week as well, which I also love. The trashier the better! After this week's, though, I definitely see where you're coming from re: the boringness. Hot damn, the Tailor Made Alliance can be dull.
bigjr6633: "I can't believe this show is actually causing ppl to argue over whose alliance is better like this show is getting serious."
uglycutie: "Buckwild and Saaphyri were cool in Charm School cause theyz were ladeezz then they show up to I Love Money 2 like The Godmother and GangzStar! Two broke ass superhero sluts."
areyoucliff: I love you.
New recap is on its way, guys! Thank you for reading and writing! (In response to me, not just...in general.)
14 of 14 | Posted by BaileyQ | Posted on March 22, 2009 8:50 PM