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Their only clue is that the day's challenge will be a "mouthful".
Seasoned reality professionals that they are, everyone immediately deduces that the challenge will involve eating some gross stuff. So they all pretty much base their pair-ups on that. Pumkin and Toastee are teamed up, and are not surprisingly quick to draw attention to the fact that they'll eat anything. The rest of the pairs on the Gold Team are Flasher and Twelve Pack and Hoopz and Granny Rodeo. Oh, wouldn't it be fabulous if this was a Rise and Shine Rodeo Oatmeal pancake challenge? With barbeque sauce for dipping? Entertainer is the odd man out.

On the Green Team, it's Annoying Brandi C. and Real, Heat and Destiney, Butterface Megan and White Boy...which leaves Mr. Boston with Chance. Chance and his delicate palate might have trouble eating some things, so Boston (who I have no doubt subscribes to the Pumkin/Toastee philosophy of putting anything in their mouth) pairs up with Chance to pick up the slack.

They get to the challenge location, which is a bunch of tables set up on a patio. Craig J. asks the new captains to step up, and Boston does so with "Captain B" magic markered on his dirty white t-shirt. Very official looking. Craig J., intrepid game show host that he is, wants to know the methodology behind how they paired up. "They work good together. They claim. I believe them," Entertainer says stupidly. Boston snickers under his breath about what an idiot this guy is. And then explains that his team had a "much more smarter strategy". They are the most smartest team ever in the whole wide world.

We'll just worry about the grammar challenge when it comes.

Anyway, Boston goes on to explain his team's scientific strategy by telling Craig J. that they paired up people who don't like eating weird crap with people who don't mind eating weird crap. Craig J. compliments them on how smart, smarter, smartest they are indeed for thinking this way. It's the perfect plan, really. Except for the minor detail that this is not going to be a eating weird crap kind of challenge.

Craig J. goes on to explain that all the challenges were based on the most memorable parts of Flavor of Love, I Love New York and Rock of Love. Which I didn't know until he said it. I guess that (and our tres fab commenters, kisses) explains the flower stick thingies from last week. And this week's challenge is based on another classic Flav and Miss New York moment - a very long, very sloppy kiss that clocked in at over an hour. Okay, everyone take a moment to wipe the vomit off you screens.

If I were Lysol I'd so be angling for some product placement on this show.

"It's your chance to prove your devotion to your team, and to winning the money," Craig J. sagely tells them. And then breaks the news that it's a good, old-fashioned "kiss off". The team that kisses the longest, wins. Oh my. I don't think there's been a cleaning product invented that will sanitize the stench of this one. But, it looks like it might not even come to that, as Chance and his do-rag, partnered with Mr. Boston, immediately expresses his repulsion with the event. The rest of the players laugh hysterically, and point. Granny's cackle in particular is so loud and enthusiastic it nearly shatters my Lysol drenched screen.

Boston doesn't seem to mind having to kiss Chance, though. He tells us that he paired up with him because Chance was queasy, but of course, it all went horribly wrong. This is why I kind of like Boston. I get the feeling like he's in on the joke of this whole game, and that's what makes him such a willing participant. Well, that, and all the skanky cooch that's so readily available in the I Love Money house. Boston tries to appease Chance, confirming with Craig J. that the kiss can be closed lips. "What the hell else do you think? And we ain't kissing!" Chance yells back. Then he reminds us of Boston's sweaty, lizard-like lips. Between the "lizard-like lips" and the "soggy sucker" comment from last week, well, you can't deny that the fellow sure can turn a phrase.

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Posted in I Love Money by ChickBomb at 1:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)
Last Comment: MichyPR on Aug 6, 2008 02:23 PM.