Testimonials

And now it's time for Butterface and Annoying to strategize. They sit with their master, Mr. Boston, and when Twelve Pack strolls up, Butterface fake whispers in Annoying's ear. There's some talk between Butterface and Twelve Pack about Flasher, and Butterface tells him she doesn't want Flasher to hear whatever it is they're saying. "She trusts me, and there's no reason why she shouldn't," Twelve Pack explains. Of course not. You've got two whole days and a bottle of supermarket special wine under your belts. What could tear that apart?

Butterface tells us that she can see Flasher's jealous, and then she cackles with that cringe-inducing, grating laugh of hers. So she goes straight to Flasher, and tattles that Twelve Pack's been hitting on her. She conveniently leaves out the part where every time Twelve Pack comes around, she pulls her signature move of the ass crack rub. And Flash takes the bait. She tells us she had trust issues, because Bret broke her heart on TV. Then we get a flashback of Bret dumping her, which of course leads to the flashback of the death glare she gave him under all her fabulous smokey eye makeup.

I will never trust an aged bald weave wearin 80's rock star again. Unless someone from Whitesnake becomes available.

Then Flash takes her case to the people. She badmouths Twelve Pack to her girls Hoopz and Pumkin, who act appropriately appalled, and then takes it to the new class couple, Destiney and Entertainer. "He made me look like an asshole," she tells them. The newlyweds question why she's taking Butterface's word for it, and then Twelve Pack himself appears on the balcony to find out what's going on. Flash yells at him, he tells her not to trust him then, to which she replies with an all-attitude, "I don't." It will take at least two more bottles of Winn Dixie wine to cross that bridge.

And Entertainer is, for some reason, highly offended by Butterface and her antics. He tells us he sees through her, and that all she does is go around causing drama and spreading lies. Then he warns that Butterface's "time has come", which is foreshadowing that can only mean one thing - and that's that there's no way in hell she's going home tonight.

The next morning, Destiney is happy to awaken next to Entertainer. Damn, this girl works fast! Has anyone noticed that Entertainer looks about seventy? Moisturizer isn't only for the ladies, you know. And then it's time to go to the Vault to get the eliminees (still not a word, still should be) into the box. Craig J. is decked out in a cute, light blue collared shirt. He reminds the Green Team that if they don't have three checks in the box in fifteen minutes, then the Gold Team decides who goes to elimination. Boston is not looking forward to the Vault meeting. He's worried that someone's coming out in a body bag.

Chance does right by offering himself up right away, as it was his fault they're in that predicament in the first place. He is both a princess and a gentleman, and it kind of works. Captain Boston wants to take a vote for the next two to go in the box, and when he calls White Boy's name, everyone raises their hands. Including Real, who one second later realizes his mistake, and slams his arm back down, but it really cracked me up.

You look just like my great uncle Sal. Raaar.

I couldn't keep up with the Vault meeting, but at one point, Chance backed off his gallantness, and offered up Butterface, Heat and one of the other girls. "I don't think I should go," he backtracks. "I don't blame you!" snaps Destiney. Is she kidding? He's totally the one to blame here. Then White Boy offers to go in, posturing that he's comfortable taking his chances. Then Boston offers to go in, proffering that he's comfortable taking a chance against White Boy and Heat. Bottom line, they somehow come to the conclusion that the best way to go is to just let Entertainer decide which three go in the box. I cannot believe I am hearing this right, but then they take another informal vote, and it's decided. Am I hallucinating or is this the stupidest choice on reality television? Ever?

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Posted in I Love Money by ChickBomb at 1:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)
Last Comment: MichyPR on Aug 6, 2008 02:23 PM.