I Love Money 2: Not Safe for Life

This week on I Love Money 2, there's more hooking up than ever! And not even a second of it is sexy.

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We open to last week's elimination, where The Entertainer alternates between kissing Buckwild and kissing 20 Pack. It's hard to tell which is worse.

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Boyfriends!

20 Pack decrees that he'll break Tailor Made's head open, which should be worth a laugh or two. Then he stomps into the house and asks the Gold Team if they're ready for a meeting. They're all super into that, since it's fun to meet with someone who's enraged! The team ignores him in favor of eating dinner, but he tells them to fuck dinner. Over on the Green Team, It takes that literally and gets busy with a burrito.

20 Pack gathers his team together and informs Prancer that he'll be calling her The Traitor from now on. I won't be following his lead, but for what it's worth, Prancer's totally cool with it! Buckwild tacks on that she's a Teenage Mutant Ninja Traitor, which is clever although long-winded, and then screaming ensues. Knowing Buckwild, you know there's some serious friggin' yelling about not much in particular. She's mad! Prancer's a turtle! Et al. She has trouble really inciting a response from anyone, so she decides to toss Tailor Made's shit around.

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In return, he decides to strangle her.

All's fair in love and war! Unfortunately the household disagrees, which Tailor Made discovers pretty quickly. The producers intervene to pull Tailor Made away, and as soon as The Entertainer finds out his beloved girlfriend is in jeopardy, he starts issuing death threats. If I'm Tailor Made, I'm making a point to never sleep again, dudes.

We fade to black and return to The Entertainer's alliance talking strategy the next day. They need to destroy the other alliance, but Angelique explains that she just doesn't get them. How can they turn on her group for neau reezon? Truer words have never been spoken, Angelique. The Entertainer says his main goal is to eliminate Tailor Made, but Buckwild's goal is to stay out of the box. The alliance assures her she's safe no matter what, because everyone loves Becky Buckwild. By the way, that is my least favorite name ever. It's Becky or it's Buckwild, and never the twain shall meet.

On the other side of the house, Bonez tells Tailor Made this will be the most important challenge of them all. Tailor Made agrees, but he recognizes that their alliance has one shifty member. Cali is really a part of both alliances, which means Cali's in surprisingly good shape in this competition. Who could've seen that coming? Tailor Made decides Cali needs his alliance as much as it needs her, so they're probably all set.

Alone in the living room, It opens a bottle with his teeth. He tells us in confessional that his strategy is to fly under the radar, and I hate that he recognizes this. If he ends up winning this show, I don't want him to take credit for it like he's semi-competent! Whatever, he struggles with his bottle and then Craig summons the cast to the kitchen. The challenge deets instruct the cast to bring their bathing suits and team uniforms, so by default I guess they won't be skinny-dipping. Drag.

The Gold Team chooses Bonez as their captain, mostly because they don't give a shit. 20 Pack and Buckwild plan to throw the challenge anyway, so what's the dif? Bonez is delighted nonetheless! On the Green Team, Angelique volunteers for the job. So...they're bound to lose this round, good to know.

Everyone heads off to the challenge. Cali tells us she doesn't feel like she's in an alliance; she's more focused on winning for her team. That means she's in an alliance with whoever's doing better at the moment, just for reference. Craig welcomes the cast to the challenge before explaining that all the "of Love" shows have had their hot and cold moments. Some of the hot moments include the Rock of Love 1 girls partaking in phone sex with Bret, who has seen better days indeed.

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Maybe his diabeetus was acting up.

I Love Money 2: Not Safe for Life Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5 

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Comments (5)

blazergirl:

I really love how appalled the Entertainer's alliance is that someone else dared to make an alliance. Did they really expect that it was okay if they picked off people one by one and that those people should just take it? Each week it amuses me how outraged they are that someone dare play the game the way they are!

yentapatrol:

OMFG I'm still laughing. You are totally hysterical!
Hugs,
Yenta

itchy:

Says a lot about a show when the most perceptive of the bunch is a guy called It.

dreamkeeper:

QB, loved the line "Craig begins the ceremony by reminding us there's twelve people left, which means this season will never end."

They need to merge the two teams because I'm now sick of the green team.

bigjr6633:

That line about this season never ending, I swear I felt that way last season. They had like 20 ppl but by the time they got down to 10 I was like damn can they hurry this shit up.

I'm going to make a prediction right now, It is going to win this whole season. While the boring nice alliance vs funny evil alliance keep fighting with eachother, It will swoop in and walk away with all the money.

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