I'm one of those sad women who finds him attractive, but even I can't abide by that shit. Keep your hat (and pants) on, Bret. In the hot/cold vein, today's competition is called Fire and Ice. The team captains will play Fire, and that involves dressing up in an offensive Mexican costume. Caliente! Everyone else will play Ice, and that means melting a huge block of ice using their bodies. The ice houses seven gold coins, and for every coin collected, the Fires can remove one article of their offensive costume. The teams need six coins to win. This challenge is bizarre even to me, which means the contestants are practically weeping in frustration.
Craig gives the teams the signal, and with that, the race is on! Everyone starts rubbing tits and asses all over the ice, especially Cali. She's immediately praised for her big fat ass, so that's nice. Fat bottomed girls, they make the rockin' world go 'round. Prancer is bummed that Cali's ass is so big. She saved Cali, so in return Cali should use her ass as little as possible. Alas, such a concept is blasphemy to a VH1 girl.
Ice's ass is smaller, so she has trouble whittling the Gold Team's ice. Bonez asks 20 Pack to help her, but clearly 20 Pack is preoccupied with shell collecting.
Once he's caught goofing off, he decides to lie down and take a nap. I guess Buckwild taught him the art of challenge-throwing. Over on the Green Team, 20 Pack's alliance is proud of him for slacking. Their joy gives them the motivation to free a coin, and that means Angelique gets to take off an item of clothing. Nothing could delight her more!
The Gold Team quickly follows their lead, collecting one coin. That concerns the Green Team, but they're even more concerned when they see Myammee throwing the challenge. Myammee's got an ass for days, so you can see how this is troubling. The Greens free another coin without her though, so her attempts may be in vain.
Craig decides the challenge is taking longer than anticipated, so he gives each team a bucket in an attempt to speed things along. I probably would've resorted to smashing the ice with the bucket, but the teams decide to fill the pails with water, which works just as well I suppose. The Green Team quickly collects their third coin, so Angelique is officially on her way to stripping down. Success! Weirdly, she's almost passably attractive with clothes on, so it's a good thing that'll end soon.
On the Gold Team, Buckwild is working surprisingly hard, which...makes no sense, actually. She and Prancer devise a system where Prancer licks the ice and Buckwild fingers it. Heh. Carry on, ladies. Prancer turns in two coins, so the teams are neck and neck! Saaphyri lands another coin for the Greens, but Prancer promptly turns one in for the Goldies. I realize this is falrly boring to read, but it's all happening pretty quickly, which is a shock in itself.
Anyway, each team needs two more coins! There's some frantic carving and then the Green Team turns in their fifth coin. Then the Gold Team turns in theirs! Each team needs one more to win, which means for once the challenge isn't a total blowout! The Gold Team is totally close, and Buckwild retrieves the coin. Gold Team wins! Except...wait...where's Buckwild going? Oh, she's fucking running away with the coin. Seriously.
She runs away and tells the team to fuck themselves! Oh my God, I simultaneously hate her and want to take her out for chicken wings. She tosses the coin out to sea, and Tailor Made is dumb enough to go after her, like he'll be able to find it out there. Unsurprisingly he does not, nor does he choke the shit out of her. I don't think the producers would even intervene this time.
The commotion gives the Green Team a chance to rebound, and with that, they turn in their last coin. The Green Team wins! Angelique is the Paymaster! She shows her tits in glee, which I would screencap if it were anyone else, but you've all seen those grabbags before.
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Comments (5)
I really love how appalled the Entertainer's alliance is that someone else dared to make an alliance. Did they really expect that it was okay if they picked off people one by one and that those people should just take it? Each week it amuses me how outraged they are that someone dare play the game the way they are!
1 of 5 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on March 23, 2009 9:43 AM
OMFG I'm still laughing. You are totally hysterical!
Hugs,
Yenta
2 of 5 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on March 23, 2009 10:14 AM
Says a lot about a show when the most perceptive of the bunch is a guy called It.
3 of 5 | Posted by itchy | Posted on March 23, 2009 10:59 AM
QB, loved the line "Craig begins the ceremony by reminding us there's twelve people left, which means this season will never end."
They need to merge the two teams because I'm now sick of the green team.
4 of 5 | Posted by dreamkeeper | Posted on March 23, 2009 4:42 PM
That line about this season never ending, I swear I felt that way last season. They had like 20 ppl but by the time they got down to 10 I was like damn can they hurry this shit up.
I'm going to make a prediction right now, It is going to win this whole season. While the boring nice alliance vs funny evil alliance keep fighting with eachother, It will swoop in and walk away with all the money.
5 of 5 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on March 23, 2009 10:25 PM