After everyone returns to the house, 20 Pack works out while Angelique drools over his body. She wants to fuck him very badly, so she decides she will. I love that she thinks this is how relationships work. I guess it's how relations work, but still. She mounts him with great fervor, even though he shrieks about his broken arm. It's not his arm she's interested in, so who cares? She undoes his pants, theorizing that she's Paymaster so she's allowed to, and 20 Pack says something about her wanting to do "the horizontal frog dance" with him. Way to make your sex even more repulsive, 20 Pack.
He worms his way out from under her, setting off in search of lip disinfectant. Teeth-brushing would probably be enough for most people, but understandably that never occurs to anyone in this household. His exit is Angelique's cue to chase him while holding a belt. She'll beat him into submission, y'all! Luckily he manages to evade her by...hiding in plain sight. She is stumped and gives up the goat.
In their bedroom, Bonez and Tailor Made try to analyze the vault situation. Tailor Made says it makes sense to put the most likable person in the strongbox alongside Buckwild and 20 Pack. Bonez would be wise to disagree, since he's really the most likable out of their alliance. They decide to choose whoever has the best connection with Angelique, but that doesn't really get them anywhere. Angelique has no friendships aside from dick-suckin' ones.
Later on, everyone sits down for a healthy argument. 20 Pack says if the Tailor Made Alliance wants to play the game fairly, they need to put Tailor Made in the strongbox. That'll bring everything back to normal in the other alliance's eyes. The Entertainer echoes these sentiments by screaming and being unattractive, two things at which he excels. I genuinely can't describe how much I hate this dude. I know he's good TV, I know he keeps things interesting, but oh my God I want to punch him in the nuts so bad.
The Entertainer stomps off, leaving 20 Pack to have a rational discussion with his team. He says they can decide who else winds up in the box, and he makes a point of mentioning that he's completely cool with Bonez. Bonez smiles at this, even though he should just flip the hell out. Nice guys go in the box this round, Bonez! Don't throw yourself under the bus! As soon as 20 Pack leaves, the rest of the Tailor Made Alliance is like, "Um yeah, it should totally be you, Bonez." Sad trombone.
The Green Team parties it up outside, playing a rousing round of Truf or Dare, as Saaphyri puts it. She offers It a dare, which is to give her a kiss. What a fucking dare indeed, that's like daring herself.
Of all the possible pairings on this show, why do these folks always find the grossest ones? Saaphyri explains that when you're in the jungle, you have to find some sort of satisfaction. Seems like tequila would take care of that for her, but whatevskies. 20 Pack dares It to suck on Saaphyri's toes, which is just - I am done, y'all. Done! I feel like Saaphyri has really rank feet, and hot saliva won't help any. He does it anyway, but blissfully it only lasts for a second at most. Thank God for small miracles.
Angelique asks 20 Pack to pick truth or dare, and for some reason he chooses dare, even though he should know what's going to happen. Sure enough, she dares him to kiss her, and he flat-out refuses. Yay! Alas, Angelique is not deterred. She chases him until he announces he's going to bed. We're not privy to the footage of her raping him at that point, unfortch.
Inside the house, Tailor Made and Prancer jot down strategies to present to Angelique, and the term "hierarchy" is used. It's the correct usage for sure, but dudes, Angelique will think they're like, "Higher, Arky" and she's going to be like, "No, I'm Frenchy!" and it will be arduous. Also, I dig the Tailor Made Alliance but my goodness they are boring.
We cut to the next morning, when the Tailor Made Alliance (henceforth known as the TMA) is still friggin' talking strategy. Tailor Made says that whoever goes in the box is taking a sacrifice for the team, so Bonez decides they should pick a name out of a hat. That's too risky for Tailor Made though - his name could be pulled! He thinks they should do this democratically, which means they just vote when they get to the vault...and everyone will vote Bonez.
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Comments (5)
I really love how appalled the Entertainer's alliance is that someone else dared to make an alliance. Did they really expect that it was okay if they picked off people one by one and that those people should just take it? Each week it amuses me how outraged they are that someone dare play the game the way they are!
1 of 5 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on March 23, 2009 9:43 AM
OMFG I'm still laughing. You are totally hysterical!
Hugs,
Yenta
2 of 5 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on March 23, 2009 10:14 AM
Says a lot about a show when the most perceptive of the bunch is a guy called It.
3 of 5 | Posted by itchy | Posted on March 23, 2009 10:59 AM
QB, loved the line "Craig begins the ceremony by reminding us there's twelve people left, which means this season will never end."
They need to merge the two teams because I'm now sick of the green team.
4 of 5 | Posted by dreamkeeper | Posted on March 23, 2009 4:42 PM
That line about this season never ending, I swear I felt that way last season. They had like 20 ppl but by the time they got down to 10 I was like damn can they hurry this shit up.
I'm going to make a prediction right now, It is going to win this whole season. While the boring nice alliance vs funny evil alliance keep fighting with eachother, It will swoop in and walk away with all the money.
5 of 5 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on March 23, 2009 10:25 PM