Real settles down on a balcony, where he can curse and spit freely. He babbles about how he's going to fucking win this thing, and something about how these people don't know the codes of the streets. Does that mean he's going to kill them? Because I would totally watch that faster than I'd watch Daisy of Love, VH1's latest Rock of Love spinoff. (PS: I will totally watch Daisy of Love.)
Soon it's time for the elimination ceremony, and Whiteboy joins CJ with a drink in hand. I am shocked! Also shocking: Megan's in a bathing suit and the dog's mentally challenged. As things start up, truly anyone could go home here. Hoopz is the smartest person to eliminate strategically, Real should be eliminated for annoyance's sake, and Megan should be eliminated so she can wash her smelly bathing suits. The ceremony begins with CJ holding up four fingers and bringing down one of them, showing how four will become three. Whiteboy has to ask for clarification about six times. Ughhhh, maths are so challenging.
CJ reminds everyone that they're all so close to a quarter of a million dollars, but hey, one person will lose it all tonight! Ain't that great. He asks each person what it would mean if they blew all this money. Hoopz would never be able to live with herself, especially since she could've won if she'd just understood the rules of today's challenge. Real would stab Whiteboy in the face, and Megan would continue hanging out at clubs and getting paid to promote them on Myspace. So, no big. She says if she ever spoke badly about Whiteboy, it wasn't because she wanted him to go home; it's just that she's nasty. Actually, she claims she wanted him to be around even more, but of course that makes no sense.
Nevertheless it's time to hand out a check, and Whiteboy calls Real up first! If anything, it seemed like the elimination was between Real and Megan! Whiteboy explains that from day one, he was with Real, Chance, and Hoopz. They had a sexy foursome but suddenly it seemed to just be Real and Hoopz, and if it wasn't for Megan, Whiteboy would be gone right now. That means he's keeping Megan and voiding Real's check! Holy shit, this is the biggest fakeout ever! Not even in the history of this show - just ever! I totally retract anything I said about Whiteboy being ridiculous with all his Paymaster power. That power is deserved, man.
Megan thinks she's having alcohol-induced hallucinations, so she doesn't quite understand that she's staying. Real and Whiteboy argue long and loud enough that it probably brings it all home though. Real bellows that Hoopz is the only real person in the house, and she's super interested in that statement.
Zzzz.
As his closing thesis, Real guarantees he'll kill Whiteboy. All that's pretty much expected though. The big shock is when CJ says it would be a shame to send Real home after all this, so instead, he'll have Real take a seat on the side. By the way, I'm foaming at the mouth. If this fucker isn't out of here, I'm going to show up at his house unhappily.
CJ tells Whiteboy his time as Paymaster is over, so he has to join the nominees. Then he announces that Real is a member of the jury, what the hell! This is not Big Brother! Still though, Real will be one of the people deciding who moves on to the final competition, and I bet I have an inkling who he'll pick - Hoopz and Megan, a-durr. A jury necessitates more than one person though, so he's got some companions. Out come the last few evictees! Hi Pumkin, Toastee, The Entertainer, Heather and 12 Pack! Heather looks so awfully, awfully bad that it is gasp-worthy.
Pumkin got some work done.
Two people will move onto the finals, and one will be eliminated ASAP. Hoopz will make it through, obviously, but Whiteboy and Megan are equally hated! CJ asks the jury how they feel about the final three. 12 Pack thinks one person weaseled their way in (wonder who!), and The Entertainer thinks he has a boner looking at Megan. When CJ asks Megan how she reacts to all those statements, we're treated to a nice montage of everything shitty she's ever done. It goes back for years! After a couple of minutes of clips, for real, Megan raises her hand and quits the game. What the fuck! Who's been rooting for you the whole time, Megan?! Me!
Toastee: unimpressed.
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Comments (4)
Ha! Made it through another wonderful trainwreck of the best of reality tv!
I'm glad Hoopz won, she really does seem like a decent person. Although didn't kiss Flavor Flav? Ew.
But yeah, nice to have a glimpse of Toasted Toastee there. Ah, memories.
Hope you're covering the next VH1 freak show, Bailey. Thanks for the great recaps!
1 of 4 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 12, 2008 12:15 PM
Laugh out loud at Pumkin getting work done! OHHHH the reunion-waiting with baited breath.
2 of 4 | Posted by oldmomoftoddlerboys | Posted on October 12, 2008 6:49 PM
Thanks for the recaps.
I was glad (as I could be for something like this) that Hoopz won. She seems pretty nice and mature. Whiteboy was dignified in losing, too.
3 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 13, 2008 10:36 AM
"Real remarks that he looks like Tony Montana"
Tony Montana as in Scarface. Al Pacino. "Say hello to my little friend".
4 of 4 | Posted by Peter Pan | Posted on October 13, 2008 11:02 AM