Rodeo sees an opening for screen time, and a possible opportunity to hawk the Rodeo Rise and Shine Oatmeal Pancakes (seriously, someone must order these and report back immediately if not sooner), and confronts Midge Mac about his tiff with Hoopz. Saint Rodeo tells Midge that she knows he doesn't really feel "that way" about women, and that he offended everyone. She knows he's a good man because of the way she fell for Miss New York. Then Rodeo asks if she can go get Brandi to make things right. What does Annoying have to do with this?
Annoying wants to know if Midge apologizes, and it seems like Midge is on the fence - when Annoying tells him that what he said was mean, he counters that Hoopz was mean too, which Annoying disagrees with. That's wrong, Hoopz was a little mean. Perhaps there were no swear words involved, but pointing out a midget's insecurity over height is not nice. Rodeo says that the fact that Midge won't apologize tells her that she doesn't want him on her team. Well, you should have tried a little harder and made yourself captain then, Granny. I'm a little disappointed.
And then it's time for the squad picking. Nibblz thinks it's all over for Midge Mac, and that he's oddly delusional about it. Annoying Brandi C. is worried that she messed up during the day's challenge, but she assures the cameras, actually, she kind of desperately pleads with the cameras, that she can do this. Like I said, totally challenged.
Craig J. tells the team captains to start picking, and just like the fat kid at gym class, "if you don't get picked, ya gotta bounce. A-iiiight?" Oh, now we're black again? Craig J., I can not keep up with you and your race crisis.
Hoopz, as the top money grubber, gets to choose first. She's happy that she's captain, and she's happy that White Boy's captain too, but she'd be happier if she and WB were on the same team. Well, well, well. We'll have to get back to that one. Craig J. reminds Hoopz that she is the only contestant there who "won" her show, and she's already the top money grabber, so things are looking good for her. Hoopz glows at the lovely and wonderful compliment.
Hoopz is on the Gold Team, and WB is for the Green Team. WB is decked out in a tank top that looks like it's from the ladies section of Wal-Mart. This is a very strange shirt. Annoying Brandi C. tells us that this is her life, and she absolutely cannot go home. I think for a second that I might be a little sad for her and this profoundly, pathetic statement, but then I remember how much she annoys me and I just laugh.
And now for the picking! The first person Hoopz is picking has strength and heart...it's Granny Rodeo! Excellent pick, she would have been my first choice too. Granny agrees, and punctuates it with her trademark cackle. Oh, how I've missed Granny. Oatmeal pancakes and barbeque sauce, anyone? White Boy picks his bros, Chance and Real, because he can trust them. Well what the hell good is trusting Chance when he's busy getting you disqualified from challenges because he refuses to participate? And why did White Boy have to advertise the Jew angle? He's making our people look bad.
No, sorry.
Hoopz next two picks are Twelve Pack, and Entertainer. She's excited to have Entertainer on her team cause he's strong, but she's worried about his mental capacity. The next person gets picked by White Boy for mental capabilities only - Mr. Boston. Heat (who appears in interview shirtless and disgusting) is highly offended. Mr. Boston makes a funny and tells us that Jews always stick together...especially on I Love Money. Amen to that.
Hoopz takes Flasher (yay!), and then it's White Boy's turn again. There are six girls and two guys left, one of whom is Heat who is looking like smoke might come out of his ears any second now. Craig J. notices that White Boy is picking all guys, and asks "It looks like you're building an all male team over there. What's the deal?"
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Comments (17)
Flav's so superfierce about the fact that his name is "FlavOR Flav" that I have to give What's-It-J-Whatever props for the artculated "Flayv-Errr-Flav."
1 of 17 | Posted by Leah | Posted on July 13, 2008 9:36 PM
I'm glad you're recapping this- sadly, that was my first thought after seeing the previews.
This show is going to be such a trainwreck.
loves it.
2 of 17 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on July 14, 2008 2:18 AM
Glad you've got this one covered. I was hoping I wasn't the only one to notice white boy's cami, tat, and chain ensemble.
3 of 17 | Posted by tadow | Posted on July 14, 2008 3:45 AM
Excellent form of douchebaggery by Midget Mac. He was saying that he got more money than Hoops, and I yelled at my TV, "Hoops was the winner of the first FLAVOR OF LOVE! The runner-up of that season sent you home on her own show!"
And where did you get that picture of poor, disformed Mr. Heat?
4 of 17 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on July 14, 2008 5:24 AM
Great recap. There's so many vapid people on this show its got to be good. Heat is a total asshole. And I really dont see how everybody thinks Megan has a hot body. Boobs-yes, the rest of her?? Someone should point out her ass is as flat as her face.
5 of 17 | Posted by Poopsicle | Posted on July 14, 2008 7:37 AM
helllls yeah.
SO glad you're recapping this nightmare CB. looking forward to every diseased second.
i would happily nosh on some delightful Granny pancakes for the cause. though i have a sneaky suspicion they may taste a bit like worn leather and aqua net. still, i adore her.
anyone else notice annoying brandi's lips? methinks she had some (cheap, hack) work done with the cash she made living up to those highschool nicknames. you don't just wake up one day looking like a duck. she's looking as busted as her buddy, butterface flats. i abhore the 'i'm so hot it makes me stupid' act more than anything.
but with any luck destiney, flasher or granny will grind them both into dust. *(which will then be incorporated into the diamond inlay on craig j's krunk kup. though i will say, this cj is infinitely more articulate than that OTHER cj who hosts crap like this. trucker hats = unequivocal brain power indeed).
6 of 17 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on July 14, 2008 8:36 AM
Oh, this is a trainwreck.
Hate Megan with a passion.
ChickBomb, I seem to remember from "I love New York" that Mr. Boston is only half-Jewish. I don't know if it helps you, but it helped me a little.
7 of 17 | Posted by SpaceVenus | Posted on July 14, 2008 8:37 AM
Way to go, ChickBomb, you ruined all my sexytime fantasies of Boston by reminding me that he's "not real big down there"! Your recaps are spot-on and hysterical (and you save me from having to actually watch this show... sometimes it just makes me sad to see these people... I don't want to laugh at them while the show is airing because I feel guilty, but it's okay when I read about it later and laugh at them!). Much love to you,
xoxox
love, J-Mo :)
8 of 17 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 14, 2008 9:22 AM
White Boy would be easier to take if he didn't speak with that thick Yiddish accent all the time.
I think VH1 has finally hit on the right formula...can't wait!
9 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 14, 2008 5:35 PM
Itchy,
Seriously, it's a glorified Real World/Road Rules challenge with the most vapid people in History. MTV nailed this formula ten or twelve years ago.
10 of 17 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on July 14, 2008 7:27 PM
OMG....when Annoying Brandi C. said she'd build herself a Barbie dream house on the hills I busted out laughing. This bitch just said this retarded shit...outloud...on television.
I really do think this girl is so sadly stupid that she meant an actual Barbie dream house - like for actual Barbies.
11 of 17 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on July 14, 2008 8:28 PM
Hey, Slutty...sure, MTV might have figured it out (although they seemed to have backslid big time lately) but VH1 is just breaking wind here...none of this nonsense about 'looking for love'...this is pure reality porn...
Show seems to have some semblance of a production budget too.
12 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 15, 2008 10:50 AM
I loved this show!!!! It is so trashy. I cannot wait for this season. I loved the fact that you said Midget Mac was from "shantytown" because he totally was. I think he lives in the place where Scarlett O'Hara got jumped in GWTW. I liked Nigdet Mac on I LOVE NY, but he was annoying as hell here. Why is he so f-ing smug? What does he have to proud of? What did he mean when he told Hoopz he had more money than her and her !#$@. What did he mean? If he meant her p*ssy, it still doesn't make sense. I was praying that someone would throw his ass in the pool.
13 of 17 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on July 15, 2008 11:10 AM
great recap!
quick question, is anyone recapping brooke knows best?
14 of 17 | Posted by stina | Posted on July 16, 2008 11:31 AM
Lol ReeseWitherspoon. Nigdet Mac? I know what you meant to type, but the typo is just deliciously, awfully wrong and hilarious (I did a double take).
Anyhow, this show is going to be so amazing. SO glad VH1 decided to go this route instead of throwing more crap like Charm School at us
Also, looks like ROL 3 will be happening soon... never was the biggest fan of ROL series, but Flav is done and NY too presumably (she has her own show coming out soon) so I'll be watching..
15 of 17 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on July 16, 2008 9:27 PM
Shia...I hope this does not ruin your day but I read some time ago that there would be another installation of Charm School with the ROL girls and with Sharon Osbourne in the Monique role. I will miss Monique's innovation with the English language - "slutatious" being one of my favorite made-up words - but I will not miss her strange ennunciation...the breathy yet nasal way she said things like "pledge pin" drove me nuts.
16 of 17 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on July 17, 2008 4:48 AM
"This world was such a better place before Paris Hilton sprayed her herpes all over it." Never before have truer words been uttered, CB.
SOOOO glad you're recapping this one, darlin'. Go Grandma Rodeo!!
17 of 17 | Posted by TheGreatAndPowerfulShaz | Posted on July 23, 2008 6:33 AM