The show opens to the guys playing pool, generally having as good a time as you can in the I Love New York house. Sadly, Tailor Made isn't enjoying his time quite as much, so he seeks out Midget Mac for some advice. I love the idea of that, like Midget Mac is so worldly. I guess it makes sense, since he can see a lot from his height. For example, he can tell you every color of gum stuck to the bottom of a table. Bless you, Mac! Tailor Made rags on The Entertainer for making cracks about Midget Mac's height, like making fun of him for driving a Tonka Truck. I'm actually jealous that I didn't think of that first, so clearly this whole segment is lost on me.

After hearing about this, Midget Mac gets pissed as hell and races up the stairs, which delights me deep down in my core. He tries to pick a fight with The Entertainer, which isn't exactly intimidating or threatening in any way. It's just a little boy yelling crazily. Tailor Made gets involved too, saying he thinks it's discriminatory that The Entertainer says Midget Mac takes long in the bathroom because he has a small bladder. That's actually just kind of dumb, but The Entertainer is winning some points with me for being a dick. He erupts into screams of "Fuck you!" towards Tailor Made, and since Midget Mac wants the attention back on him, he mounts the table like a pony and rides it into argument victory.

I got friends in low places.

The Entertainer goes completely batshit, threatening to kill Tailor Made. As I've said before and will continue to say in every recap ever, it's my life's goal to recap the show that features the first reality TV death, so I'm totally rooting for a showdown. Sadly it doesn't happen, since The Entertainer loves New York and doesn't want to leave, and blahblah, pussycakes.

Since everyone's piss-ass drunk, some of the guys decide to play a prank at 1:30 AM. Buddha's the brains behind the operation, postulating that they should wake everyone up and announce they have to compete in a challenge. (You know black guys on reality shows always postulate, right?) Punk narrates their plan, and it features some houseguests we've barely ever seen, like Pretty and 20 Pack. Even the other dudes in the house are like, who?

The guys set the scene with an old message from New York, propping it up in the backyard surrounded by candles, to make it look super official. Buddha plans to read the message and say that New York appreciates a man with patience, and whoever stands outside the longest will win a special date. Holy fucking shit, Buddha has to win this show. He's attractive and conniving, aka perfect! A generic black guy (Pretty, maybe?) decides the prize will be breakfast with New York, and this is all so perfect I'm kind of wetting my pants over it.

Buddha excitedly says Tailor Made will stand out there all night, and on that note, the guys run inside to break the news. Midget Mac moons the camera on his way out of bed, which is fully revolting. He must've been in the middle of a diaper change or something. Everyone actually looks pretty good once they get dressed, which is impressive! On shows like Hell's Kitchen, everyone drags themselves out for early challenges in their ratty bed clothes, but I guess all of these guys actually have love for New York. That, or they're incredibly vain.

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Posted in I Love New York by Bailey Quarters at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: jennloupus on Nov 1, 2007 10:04 AM.