She storms the hell out and he reluctantly follows her, whereupon she accuses him of acting again. Then she yells about how she's sick of this shit. Uh, then maybe you shouldn't have picked a fight? Just common sense, darlin'. She says he wouldn't be talking about his past job experience if he were really there for her, but he counters that he was just answering a question, which is pretty much true. Sadly she won't hear any of it. She wants to be left alone, so he goes back into the waiting room and then she gets all pissed off about how he left her. New York is every single stereotype about women all rolled into one.
When she finally pouts her way back inside, Bart returns with the test results. It'll be extra awesome if he concludes Buddha and New York are the most compatible now. He announces Tailor Made has an issue and an attraction to really strong women, but he thinks if Tailor Made finally gets New York, he'll be bored. Punk is revealed to have a huge sex drive but he doesn't trust anyone, so he masturbates excessively.
Picture of innocence!
New York doesn't like dudes wanking off, so this might be a problem for her. She would prefer they just fuck her, you know? Simple request. Mr. Wise turns out to be emotionally unavailable, which makes New York decide they're the least compatible. When it comes to The Entertainer, both he and New York are extremely narcissistic. Bart says if they pass a mirror, they'd both stop to look into it, and The Entertainer goes, "Of course!" New York replies with, "Why wouldn't you?" Aww. You're so vain you probably think this recap is about you. Last but not least, there's Buddha. He's a little defensive, so New York worries more about the acting thing. She's an expert psychiatrist, don't ya know.
New York's tests show her to be social, friendly, and not a fan of conformity. She's sensitive, defensive, and not easy to get along with. I like that New York's test results are just like, "She's kind of a bitch." She asks who's the most compatible with her, and since The Entertainer really showed he's into himself, he's pretty much a perfect fit. Squee! He screams his head off over this, as he's wont to do, but Bart adds that a lot of them have similar qualities. New York is positively ecstatic over these excellent tests. He told them almost no new information, and she's just tickled! I love it.
The Entertainer wins a date for the night, making this his first challenge win and first alone time with New York. She's excited to check him out to see if Bart is right, and The Entertainer is excited to have sex with her. After they get back to the house, he steams his wifebeater and button-down shirt, like all classy gents. He's looking forward to showing New York what kind of guy he really is, aka crazy and dumb.
As they leave for their date, Mr. Wise hatches a plan with Buddha. "Let's tear the living room up, like move the furniture all around," says Wise. Since The Entertainer gets freaked about spirits and the like, the guys decide to make it look like something spooky happened. This is sort of ridiculous, but since it'll probably make The Entertainer look a fool, I can accept it. Clearly this episode hinges on my acceptance!
Elsewhere, New York and The Entertainer sit down for dinner. He's excited to prove himself and adds that he's hoping for a little tongue action too, which I totally called. I'm assuming he means his tongue in her snatch, of course. New York tells him she feels a lot closer to him knowing they're so compatible, so he answers by saying he'll eat more of her food. She laughs and laughs but he actually starts eating off her plate, which isn't very endearing at all. She says she likes him because he has many different sides to him, like crazy, and then goes, "The Entertainer is a bit weird, but it's a great weird. I'm feelin' his weirdom."
Unfortunately, The Entertainer thought she said "wiener."
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Comments (15)
Thank you, Baily Quarters, for making my life worth living with your hilarious ILNY2 recaps!!
"steamed his wife beater and button down shirt like all classy gents"... You're a genius!
1 of 15 | Posted by Michigan | Posted on December 3, 2007 6:47 AM
I thought one of the funniest parts was when Mr. Wise was getting booted and NY mentioned something about how articulate he was. Um...imapoovittou much!
2 of 15 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 3, 2007 8:59 AM
Great recap, BaileyQ! I love reading them every week.
Best part not shown: When New York fell down the steps! She misstepped, fell down like 3 stairs and did not spill a DROP of her drink. Hilarious!
Check it out on VH1.com.
3 of 15 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on December 3, 2007 10:12 AM
OMG! This show is so freakin crazy, I mean, The Entertainer is so freakin crazy. He looks like he may have a split personality. He scares me :(
I think Tailor Made should get with a rich chic, Punk is way to good for her, so that makes either Looney or Actor (my names I made for them) one of the ones she deserves. I can't wait to see the next episode. FINALLY some calls them transvestites!! Took long enough!!!
4 of 15 | Posted by garciape | Posted on December 3, 2007 12:39 PM
This recap is my favorite because of the use of "quadraboob" which I now wish was my screenname. Dammit!
The fact that Buddha is still pissed about Chance is so funny to me, I mean, does he not realize she is also currently dating 4 other guys?? Oh but, Buddha, I do give you credit for figuring out how to get the most screen time - not to shabby!
It killed me that NY kept talking about how she needed a "wife" and Tailor Made was all about it - dude acting so desperate that you would do whatever this bitch wants (i.e. penis surgery or comb out NY's weaves every night while she's screwing other guys) is pathetic!
Oh well, I'm kinda entertained by this show, but 100x more by the recaps! Hilarious!
I hope Buddha wins, and pulls the exact same shit as Tango!! HAHA
5 of 15 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on December 3, 2007 1:49 PM
"Unsurprisingly, New York reacts like a pig in shit."
Best line ever.
6 of 15 | Posted by yummy | Posted on December 3, 2007 3:36 PM
I've never actually watched this show and I realize I never really cool. They'd have to be a disappointment after these recaps.
Awesome job.
7 of 15 | Posted by Fomhoire | Posted on December 3, 2007 7:53 PM
Hahah awesome recap.
Punk is just odd all around.
He really does have a disturbing body, and its more than the boobs. I think its really weird that his he doesn't have cut abs when his arms are so muscley. Its just strange.
Plus in the confessional he always looks like he's high. And he sounds like Mickey Mouse.
8 of 15 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on December 3, 2007 10:14 PM
I'm kind of confused I don't really remember if it was in this episode or tonight's that Buddha was sitting on a rock "looking at the scenery" and he won't talk to her when she goes looking for him and I loved that she was like o (bleep)kay and then she kinda tripped hahaha. Great recap BTW you always make me laugh :)
9 of 15 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on December 3, 2007 10:20 PM
shia0bundan, I always think the same think about Punk in the confessional...his eyes look a little red, has he been smoking the reefer? hee hee!
10 of 15 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 4, 2007 3:04 AM
I AM SOOO ADDICTED TO THIS SMUT T.V. AS MY MOTHER WOULD CALL IT. IM ADDICTED TO THESE RECAPS JUST AS MUCH. GREAT JOB. TO DEFEND PUNK ID BE HIGH IF I HAD TO LIVE IN THAT HOUSE TOO. BY THE WAY DO THE RUNNER UPS GET A LIFETIME OF NEWPORT 100'S THEY BLUR OUT ALL THE OTHER LABELS BUT THERE IS NO MISTAKING THAT CIGARETTE. THEY GO WITH WEED PERFECTLY MAKES YOUR HIGH LAST LONGER. AT LEAST THATS WHAT I HEARD.
11 of 15 | Posted by CHRISW78 | Posted on December 4, 2007 5:00 AM
My sister swears that Punk is on steroids. Whaddya think? The huge muscles don't fit w/his profession (lawyer) and his voice is high ...she sez that's a dead giveaway... but I don't wanna believe it!
12 of 15 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on December 4, 2007 8:26 AM
'Roid rage could explain the flipping of the table.
13 of 15 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 4, 2007 10:31 AM
Thanks so much for the great comments, you guys!! I'm a shitty replier but I am totally appreciative. I also think Punk could totally be on roids and now I'm going to watch his interviews more closely for it -- and possibly manip his head on Mickey Mouse's body.
14 of 15 | Posted by BaileyQuarters | Posted on December 6, 2007 10:19 PM
Cmon Bailey, I'm going through withdrawal here!!!!
15 of 15 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 10, 2007 10:07 AM