Testimonials

Dr. Allen says she'll create a scenario to see how both New York and The Entertainer will respond. They imagine they've been married for a few years, and he wants a baby but she says that will give her stretch marks. Plus she'd be off the market for a whole year! I assume Dr. Allen means the entertainment market, but I imagine New York would be trying to solicit a little tang on the side, so it works all around. The Entertainer says he could have a baby at the age of 60, so he's in no rush. He'd also be happy to be a stay-at-home father since she's the one with the career. New York says she likes that he's willing to be her wife. In response, he punches her square in the jaw. No, instead Dr. Allen gives them some fighting techniques that I don't understand. She instructs him to say, "You have every right not to give me the right to say what I say, and one day I pray you will do the same for me." What the fuck? I have every right to ignore the rest of this segment.

During Mr. Wise's session, Dr. Allen asks if there's anything he wants New York to know about him. He says New York is suspicious of his close relationship with his ex, to which New York explains he even lists her as his emergency contact. Whoops! He says that's because he doesn't have a lot of immediate family. Dr. Allen understands, but she reiterates that New York will not accept that he keeps in touch with anyone he's ever had sex with. Mr. Wise doesn't believe in burning bridges, so that essentially ensures his departure tonight. Not so wise after all.

Tailor Made is confident for his session, since he's been through counseling numerous times with Nancy. That's a real confidence booster! Dr. Allen informs him that New York has a dream of sending him for some plastic surgery corrections. I'm not sure if this is part of the fake scenario or what, but knowing New York, it's probably the truth. That's shocking though; his hairline looks just fine.

Mr. Clean!

New York needs him to be able to satisfy her, so he needs a penis implant. I guess that's fair since she's had the tits done. He's confident he'll be able to satisfy her, but she says to pretend they're together and he's not doin' it. Ultimately he'll do whatever it takes to make her happy, so if that's a new dick, then so be it! New York eats it up and sucks him off, delighted she can control him. Yay!

Dr. Allen starts her meeting with Buddha by being like, "So, you have an interest in courting this fair maiden." I kind of can't describe how much I hate this woman. She asks if he's willing to negotiate time, space, and money, and he says absolutely. Right away, New York is all, "He's lying!" Then she specifies again, he's lying. The extra syllable is important, you see. Dr. Allen asks if she caught him in a lie pragmatically, and New York points to her head as she answers, "Up here, if that's what pragmatically means." Oh, New York. That's exactly what it means.

Buddha is strong, so New York doesn't feel like she's in control of their relationship. Of course she must rule all! New York wants to be a better man than Buddha, which means New York is a transsexual. She wants to come home and demand food and drink, and ugh, everything about her is unattractive! She has quadraboob! Back out now, Buddha! Dr. Allen says Buddha fits New York's chemistry, and her body adores him. She says this is called deflowering, which is when a woman meets a man she has to look up to because her body tells her to. Um, really? Because I have it on very good authority that this is not what deflowering means.

Punk comes in and apologizes for his attire, which is a wifebeater and gym pants. Dr. Allen is like, "You think we mind looking at your body?" Well I do, so put on a coat, son. In their meeting, he says he'd like to be cherished for his feelings, whereas New York wants respect over being cherished. He's an excellent balance for her because he can be a huge puss, basically. Luckily he steps up and reveals Tailor Made's conversation with Nancy, yay! New York is completely shocked and upset that Buddha would be on another dating show, although I don't know why, since that was probably listed on his application and all. Oh wells! She decides to confront him after the counseling sessions.

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Posted in I Love New York by Bailey Quarters at 11:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)
Last Comment: wintersux on Dec 10, 2007 10:07 AM.