She asks him directly if he was on Hell Date, and he enthusiastically replies yes. Amazingly she's not pleased, but I love how direct he was. At least she can't accuse him of avoiding the question! All he can say about Hell Date though is that it's bullshit, which I guess is like his ink blot answers: "It's cool." Wise words, broseph. New York doesn't know if she wants him in the house or not, but it's time for elimination so she'll have to think fast.
Tailor Made feels good going into the ceremony, since New York apparently said a lot of things that made him think he has a special place in her heart. Not sure when that happened, but okay! All I heard was her being like, "You've got a small dick." Mr. Wise also feels safe this week, even though he still talks to his ex and that makes New York's skin crawl. Mr. Wise is dumb as a box of shoes. Buddha says he doesn't think he'll be going home, even though he's an actor. Actors need love too! Somewhere New York just had an aneurysm.
She comes out for eliminations, and her first chain goes to someone who is confident and masculine. He's also willing to give her most of the control in their relationship, and she's feeling the hell out of him. The winner is Punk! They can feel on each other's titties all night long! She says she feels so close to him, it's almost like he's a brother to her. Uh...sexy? The Entertainer yuks it up on the back line over that comment, which takes away from some of the joy of it. Luckily it doesn't take away from the joy of New York's plastic bra straps.
I spy with my little eye.
Wow, I wore those clear detachable straps when I was in sixth grade! While I appreciate that New York is making an effort to keep those puppies contained, I feel like sista's got a decent amount of cash flow. Fucking buy a strapless bra and/or a stylist. Thanks! XO, Bailey Q.
The next chain is for a great guy, one whom Dr. Allen said was ready to "completely acquiesce himself" to her. She didn't read that off a cue card at all, by the way. This dude is ready to be her wife, and that's Tailor Made. He's down with being her bitch so he happily takes his chain. When it comes to chain number three, she says she's seen a whole 'nother side of this next guy over the past few days. He's funny, smart, and she's starting to feel him a lot. This guy is...The Entertainer. Wait, seriously? Funny and smart? I would pick Bif the Boom Operator over him, but okay. He comes down for his chain and they have some kind of odd interaction, but he has a gross mole in between his eyes and it's way too distracting. I've never noticed it before and now it makes my mouth water like right before you throw up, yarg. The only significant thing is that New York says the letter O stands for awesome. Obsolutely it does.
She has one chain left. She's really starting to feel Buddha, but part of her believes he's there just for the cameras. On the other hand, she's nervous about Mr. Wise's relationship with his ex. She tells Mr. Wise he's a wonderful and honest man, but she just doesn't know if he's willing to open up enough to meet her needs. She's sorry but he has to bounce. After he leaves, Buddha comes up to take his chain. New York tells him they've been on a rocky road, but she hopes they can sail smoothly from this point on. He says, "It's all on you. Nothing's been rocky on my part," which is bad news! Don't fuck up now, Buddha!
Sister Patterson asks why they're battling, and Buddha gets all testy about how he's not fighting. She decides she doesn't want to be part of it, so she vacates her throne and leaves New York to give out her last necklace. Awesomely, you can see the price tag on the back of the chain. I love any show that uses props from the dollar store, what what!
Next week on I Love New York, we meet the final four's families! The Entertainer's mom calls Sister Patterson a transvestite, and Sister Patterson reacts very calmly, by telling her she looks like she's wearing a beaver's ass on her head. Ya know, like ya do. Buddha may be an actor, but I feel like every week Sister Patterson is roleplaying as a character on Absolutely Fabulous.
What a tangled web we weave.
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Comments (15)
Thank you, Baily Quarters, for making my life worth living with your hilarious ILNY2 recaps!!
"steamed his wife beater and button down shirt like all classy gents"... You're a genius!
1 of 15 | Posted by Michigan | Posted on December 3, 2007 6:47 AM
I thought one of the funniest parts was when Mr. Wise was getting booted and NY mentioned something about how articulate he was. Um...imapoovittou much!
2 of 15 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 3, 2007 8:59 AM
Great recap, BaileyQ! I love reading them every week.
Best part not shown: When New York fell down the steps! She misstepped, fell down like 3 stairs and did not spill a DROP of her drink. Hilarious!
Check it out on VH1.com.
3 of 15 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on December 3, 2007 10:12 AM
OMG! This show is so freakin crazy, I mean, The Entertainer is so freakin crazy. He looks like he may have a split personality. He scares me :(
I think Tailor Made should get with a rich chic, Punk is way to good for her, so that makes either Looney or Actor (my names I made for them) one of the ones she deserves. I can't wait to see the next episode. FINALLY some calls them transvestites!! Took long enough!!!
4 of 15 | Posted by garciape | Posted on December 3, 2007 12:39 PM
This recap is my favorite because of the use of "quadraboob" which I now wish was my screenname. Dammit!
The fact that Buddha is still pissed about Chance is so funny to me, I mean, does he not realize she is also currently dating 4 other guys?? Oh but, Buddha, I do give you credit for figuring out how to get the most screen time - not to shabby!
It killed me that NY kept talking about how she needed a "wife" and Tailor Made was all about it - dude acting so desperate that you would do whatever this bitch wants (i.e. penis surgery or comb out NY's weaves every night while she's screwing other guys) is pathetic!
Oh well, I'm kinda entertained by this show, but 100x more by the recaps! Hilarious!
I hope Buddha wins, and pulls the exact same shit as Tango!! HAHA
5 of 15 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on December 3, 2007 1:49 PM
"Unsurprisingly, New York reacts like a pig in shit."
Best line ever.
6 of 15 | Posted by yummy | Posted on December 3, 2007 3:36 PM
I've never actually watched this show and I realize I never really cool. They'd have to be a disappointment after these recaps.
Awesome job.
7 of 15 | Posted by Fomhoire | Posted on December 3, 2007 7:53 PM
Hahah awesome recap.
Punk is just odd all around.
He really does have a disturbing body, and its more than the boobs. I think its really weird that his he doesn't have cut abs when his arms are so muscley. Its just strange.
Plus in the confessional he always looks like he's high. And he sounds like Mickey Mouse.
8 of 15 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on December 3, 2007 10:14 PM
I'm kind of confused I don't really remember if it was in this episode or tonight's that Buddha was sitting on a rock "looking at the scenery" and he won't talk to her when she goes looking for him and I loved that she was like o (bleep)kay and then she kinda tripped hahaha. Great recap BTW you always make me laugh :)
9 of 15 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on December 3, 2007 10:20 PM
shia0bundan, I always think the same think about Punk in the confessional...his eyes look a little red, has he been smoking the reefer? hee hee!
10 of 15 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 4, 2007 3:04 AM
I AM SOOO ADDICTED TO THIS SMUT T.V. AS MY MOTHER WOULD CALL IT. IM ADDICTED TO THESE RECAPS JUST AS MUCH. GREAT JOB. TO DEFEND PUNK ID BE HIGH IF I HAD TO LIVE IN THAT HOUSE TOO. BY THE WAY DO THE RUNNER UPS GET A LIFETIME OF NEWPORT 100'S THEY BLUR OUT ALL THE OTHER LABELS BUT THERE IS NO MISTAKING THAT CIGARETTE. THEY GO WITH WEED PERFECTLY MAKES YOUR HIGH LAST LONGER. AT LEAST THATS WHAT I HEARD.
11 of 15 | Posted by CHRISW78 | Posted on December 4, 2007 5:00 AM
My sister swears that Punk is on steroids. Whaddya think? The huge muscles don't fit w/his profession (lawyer) and his voice is high ...she sez that's a dead giveaway... but I don't wanna believe it!
12 of 15 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on December 4, 2007 8:26 AM
'Roid rage could explain the flipping of the table.
13 of 15 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 4, 2007 10:31 AM
Thanks so much for the great comments, you guys!! I'm a shitty replier but I am totally appreciative. I also think Punk could totally be on roids and now I'm going to watch his interviews more closely for it -- and possibly manip his head on Mickey Mouse's body.
14 of 15 | Posted by BaileyQuarters | Posted on December 6, 2007 10:19 PM
Cmon Bailey, I'm going through withdrawal here!!!!
15 of 15 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 10, 2007 10:07 AM