If you've heard about the Writers Guild strike, you probably know there's a lot of pros and cons. Maybe you've made yourself a little list to weigh the options of which side to take. I have not, but I know which one should be at the top of your list. If the writers are on strike, that means there will be tons of reality TV, and you know that means there will be a whole lot of I Love New York!
The show opens to the guys lying around in boredom. Tailor Made is all decked out in his creepy face mask, which - really? Really, he has no shame about that? Huh! To impress New York, and also since they have shit-all to do, 20 Pack and Punk decide to cook breakfast for New York. Of course we learned last week that she hates breakfast, so this is just a waste of energy. I hope she throws it in their face and they have to do sad interviews covered in ketchup and eggs, but that's just me. Unfortunately she's actually impressed with the food, which isn't interesting to anyone at all.
Downstairs, Buddha asks Tailor Made how anyone can respect him after he backed out on his handshake with Cheezy the night before. Really though, Buddha doesn't have much room to talk. After all, he faked a whole challenge and was kind of a jerk, although you know I totally loved it. Buddha says it's offensive when someone takes advantage of another person like that, and they both start swearing and screaming. Then out of nowhere, Buddha launches his glass of orange juice across the table. He headbutts Tailor Made and then backs him into a corner, and aww, this reminds me so much of the days when I used to write wrestling play-by-play. Memories!
Tailor Made flips his shit and starts yelling about how Buddha is out of the competition now for attacking him, which is probably true since it's all on tape. Can't really deny that kinda thing.
Best. Caption. Ever.
Tailor Made completely confesses that he ran like a bitch and started crying for help, which is sort of endearing. Most dudes would pretend they were really manly, but no, he was a total pussy. Love it! Even if you hate Tailor Made, you have to feel bad when he starts flailing in fear as Buddha shouts in his face. Finally Buddha slaps him, and that's when the other guys step in to break it up. I would fucking love to see Midget Mac try to interfere, but sadly he seems to be missing. He's a little small though, so maybe he was just hidden in someone's shadow.
A camera guy tries to separate them, but Buddha yells that he hasn't touched Tailor Made. This is a lie, but he insists, "When I put my hands on you, mother fucker, you're gonna know it." Well, he kinda already does. In confessional, Buddha says the fight is about Buddha love and Buddha pride. Um, okay? It squicks me out when these guys get so attached to their nicknames within the span of a couple days.
Once everyone's separated, most of the guys go outside with Buddha, since he's easier to spend ten seconds with. They all agree that Tailor Made is totally crazy, mostly since they don't want Buddha to punch them in the nads. The topic shifts to how Tailor Made always runs upstairs to talk to New York, so of course we immediately cut away to New York's bedroom, where he comes in nearly crying. I actually feel bad for him, you guys! New York comforts him and says she doesn't want anyone fucking with her boy, since she really likes him. I love the phrasing of that. If it were any other dude, fuck it; Buddha could kill him. She wouldn't mind.
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Comments (13)
"His strategy for the fight is the same plan people have when a bee is around: sit very still and maybe it won't get you"
:D Love it. Great line.
And I totally love Tailor Made. He's the only one that actually seems to be digging NY anyways.
Mr. Wise should be grateful Tailor got him his 15 seconds, because before that I just knew him as the guy that reminded me of Whiteboy from season 1.
And I really think Tailor Made is gonna win this whole thing.
1 of 13 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on November 5, 2007 1:37 PM
I caught part of this train wreck during a case of insomnia (or was it Bud Light?). Until I saw your recap, I wasn't sure it wasn't just a nightmare (or another Vietnam flashback. Darn those dirty Japs!)
Let me guess - first prize is a week with New York... second prize is TWO weeks with New York...?
Sadly, I dozed off and missed what I'm sure was the best part... the beating of the guys in the ring...
2 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 5, 2007 4:06 PM
"A Tale of Two Spitties" bwahaha
3 of 13 | Posted by yummy | Posted on November 5, 2007 5:23 PM
Why did Tailor Made spit in his face? I don't get that. He should have just sat there. Instead of letting Mr. Wise destroy himself with his Dogpatch USA type of thinking, he gets commended.
I hate Punk. He's such a hypocritical oaf. I want him doused with gasoline.
4 of 13 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on November 5, 2007 8:58 PM
Midgetzu?!?! C'mon... you have to admit that was just a little bit funny!
5 of 13 | Posted by roadtripper8 | Posted on November 6, 2007 5:35 AM
Your recaps are better than the actual show. I don't even watch anymore...just wait for the recap.
Sucks...I kinda liked Buddha.
6 of 13 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on November 6, 2007 9:34 AM
Damn, I liked Buddha. I'm so glad I didn't start that ILNY2 betting pool because it would've been lunches all around on me.
"It squicks me out when these guys get so attached to their nicknames within the span of a couple days."
Bailey, if you recall, Buddha named himself. He told New York that his friends call him Buddha, and she said "If that's what his fine ass wants to be called, then so be it" or something like that. So he's attached to his self-proclaimed nickname? That's about right.
7 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 6, 2007 11:23 AM
I'm only on the 2nd page so far and I've gotta give props. This is a hilarious recap!
"and as she walks back into the house, he just continues to chill in the yard. Uh, she sent you home, bro. It would be so great if later on he emerged from the bushes and stabbed the shit out of someone." LOL! Is it too soon to be laughing this hard at a Killer OJ reference? (Unlike with some other TVGasm recappers who shall remain nameless, this one was funny.)
8 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 6, 2007 11:30 AM
hahahaha@ "Not ready for Sister Patterson's jelly."
I love how SP and NY are basically striking the same pose. Watch out guys, SP is so NY in 15 more years.
9 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 6, 2007 11:32 AM
Ok, I'm done reading now. :)
Bailey, I'm noticing that you're having a hard time understanding reality-talkese, so here's a Reality Show to English dictionary for you:
1. "shiesty" (adjective)
Translation - Being untrustworthy or underhanded. Ghetto synonyms: shady, gutter, grimy.
2. "Don't you know that's an offense?"
(incredulous rhetorical question)
Translation - "That is very offensive and disgusting, fool!"
3. "You don't understand, I was sitting there with my legs crossed!" (Weak-ass defense):
Translation - "I was attacked for no good reason! Everyone knows I'm the victim here!"
10 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 6, 2007 11:54 AM
I also liked Buddha, damn he's hot! I hate Tailor Made and he definitely looks like he has Herpes, eww. I think now I'm kinda rooting for Pretty cause he's pretty hot too even though we've barely seen him. Anyways, great recap :)
11 of 13 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on November 6, 2007 8:31 PM
As always, thanks so much for the comments, guys!! I'm so glad you're reading and that you're not like, "Wow, give it up already, BQ." Don't let me give you any ideas there.
ReeseWitherspoon, you made my entire life with your comment. I am so in love with the idea of dousing someone with gasoline. Some people just deserve it!
blahblah, I totally forgot he named himself that, so thank you for reminding me! I also love your Reality Show dictionary so very much. You should add onto it every week, because you know they're just going to keep coming up with crazier crap all the time.
12 of 13 | Posted by BaileyQuarters | Posted on November 7, 2007 2:29 PM
You're welcome, Bailey.
I should add onto my Reality Show Dictionary every week, but then I'd have to quit my day job - reading your recaps. :)
13 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 20, 2007 5:17 PM