Testimonials

They cruise back to the mansion, and 20 Pack immediately orders a house meeting to call Tailor Made out on his bullshit. He starts the meeting by asking Pretty, "Did you know you're gay?" If he didn't before, he's probably starting to realize now! 20 Pack goes on to tell everyone that Tailor Made is gossiping to New York and her mom, and now you know some punches are gonna be thrown. Tailor Made tries to defend himself by saying he heard some crap, and he took it out of context. Wait, how? Either someone's gay or they're not, right?

He drags The Entertainer into it, but The Entertainer maintains there wasn't any proof of Pretty's queerosity. It's hard to have proof unless someone's actually giving you a blowjob, so nice research. Mr. Wise asks Tailor Made how he sleeps at night, and for a second I took that as hilariously homosexual, like he was asking, "Do you sleep naked, with a pillow between your legs to give your balls some room?" Sadly he meant it as a conscience thing. Tailor Made tells him to go fuck himself, and Mr. Wise's skull explodes. In confessional, Mr. Wise says, "Me, being where I'm from... that's a total insult." Really? Because where I'm from, that's just a way of saying howdy. Culture clash!

Tailor Made tells everyone they're always bringing up shit about other people, but they never do anything about it. That's the final straw for Mr. Wise, who rants about being tired of hearing Tailor Made's mouth. Of course, all of this is a little more laden with expletives. Mr. Wise asks for someone to take Tailor Made outside so they don't get into a confrontation, but no one listens. Instead, Tailor Made starts giggling and playing pool, like you would in this exact situation.

While Mr. Wise goes outside to get some air, Tailor Made sits down to phone his mama. It would be so amazing if he called her like, "Mom, can you come down here and help me out?" Meanwhile, Mr. Wise has an existential crisis. He's not the same person he used to be, so he knows he shouldn't hurt Tailor Made but...why not, you know? Dude deserves it! Taking the low road, which is also the blissfully wonderful road, Mr. Wise goes back inside to destroy Tailor Made limb from limb. He gets into Tailor Made's face and tells him to never speak to him like that again, and Tailor Made is just barely keeping himself from weeping all over the place. His strategy for the fight is the same plan people have when a bee is around: sit very still and maybe it won't get you. At least, that was his plan until he spits right in Mr. Wise's face. Even Midget Mac recoils in horror from across the room. He may be little, but he has a big heart, y'all!

Mr. Wise demolishes a table in his attempt to get to Tailor Made, and The Entertainer has to literally wrestle him to the floor so that Wise doesn't put his foot through Tailor Made's ass. He starts screaming about how he'll fucking murder him, and finally The Entertainer loses his safety grip. Mr. Wise charges towards Tailor Made, and the footage fades ominously as Mr. Wise tries to tackle him. When it comes back, Tailor Made has to clean himself up after peeing all over the place in fear. They both have to spend some time alone to compose themselves, and it's great because Mr. Wise shows some remorse. Of course, it's remorse for not punching Tailor Made right in the mouth, which is fabulous.

Punk asks Tailor Made why he would spit in someone's face, especially considering how New York flipped out when Pumkin did it to her. Tailor Made's answer is like, "You don't understand, I was sitting there with my legs crossed!" Which means what, exactly? I'm going to say it means he was trying not to bone Mr. Wise from behind. That's clearly the only logical answer. Punk walks out about halfway through Tailor Made's nonsensical diatribe, saying he couldn't associate with a person who would spit in someone's face. That said, he'll happily associate with The Entertainer and his foot fetish.

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Posted in I Love New York by Bailey Quarters at 12:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)
Last Comment: blahblah on Nov 20, 2007 05:17 PM.