Testimonials

Buddha's letter goes on for like weeks, and he winds up talking about prisons and men corrupting nations, and dude, I have no idea what he's smoking. Either way he should get to come back since he's easy on the eyes and would be a perfectly volatile match for New York. Wolf says it was smart of her to have Punk read the letter, since Punk's a Harvard graduate and there was some complicated shit in that letter. Wolf is dumb as fuck, so we can't fault him for that statement. After the letter, New York says she feels her choice of keeping Buddha around was "tooken" from her. One of my favorite readers, blahblah, came up with a reality TV dictionary for me last week, but "tooken" is one word I can define on my own. Tooken = New York is also dumb as fuck.

She asks if anyone would like to join her for a smoke break, so Midget Mac jumps at the opportunity. As you'd expect, the effort is unnoticeable. He winds up out there with her anyway and she says she felt it was important for them to be alone tonight, which is clearly BS. She brings up his deceased baby mama, wondering if he's ready to take things to the next level since he hasn't dated anyone since her passing. It's only been four months at the time of filming, so it sort of makes sense that he hasn't dated, but que sera sera. At this point I'm noticing that Mac is smoking with New York, and there's about a million offensive things coming to mind, but he's getting pretty choked up during his conversation so I feel like I should lay off him a bit. New York agrees with me, so she says when she sees him, she feels so much joy. Hell yes, midgets are hilarious.

Then New York and Mac share a kiss, and the only reason this deserves its own paragraph is for these words of wisdom: "Midget Mac was a great kisser, you know...for a person with such small lips, small tongue, small teeth, small head and face." You have no idea how happy that whole quote makes me, oh sweet corn.

They head inside, and New York alludes to a little dirty dirty happening between them just to get the other guys riled up. Then she asks their opinions on the blood oaths, and of course only It will tell her it was insane, but we can keep our fingers crossed. The Entertainer says he really believes in spirits and the creepy old gal, whereas It says he was distracted during the whole ceremony. Uh, with what? Had some important text messages to reply to, on the cell phone he can't use in the house? He says he forgot to sign the oath, and all of that further makes New York worry that he's not there for her. Amazingly she's not reassured when he tells her she don't gotta be frettin'. He's super empathetic though, so when he senses there might be some frettin' still going on, he explains, "I can't say that I love her right yet. We never chilled and ate chicken wings on a bench, or ate French fries outside on a bench in the projects, know what I'm sayin'?" I do know what he's saying, and I am wooed.

Following the confrontation, everyone drives back to the mansion. I assume all the guys realized they couldn't top that crazy shit. Wolf thanks her for the dinner, and New York tells him how much fun she had with him. You know, in the five seconds they conversed. She moves right down the line of suitors, with Tailor Made finding her next. He basically starts molesting her on the spot, and to her credit she tells him to back up. Suddenly the lights go out, and everyone in the house flips their shit, which means The Entertainer must be pooping pure blood. It's the spirits! There's negative energy! You can't hear me, but I'm making ghost sound effects right now.

« Beauty and the Geek: Los Besos Y Las Danzas | Main | The Amazing Race: Off We Go! »

Posted in I Love New York by Bailey Quarters at 7:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)
Last Comment: blahblah on Nov 20, 2007 05:46 PM.