Everyone heads out back, and Kia and Mr. Wise discuss his time in the house. He tells her he could really grow something with New York, and she says this is killing her. Awkwaaaard. She admits she's being emotional and Mr. Wise relates, and all that's wonderful but I'm a little distracted by Megan scratching her armpit in the background of the scene.
15 seconds of fame.
Mr. Wise thought there might be some drama with his ex around, so that's Kia's cue to ask if New York's seen his package. Wise is all like, "My what?" You know, the UPS box you had delivered. What the hell do you think she's talking about? He tells her she hasn't, and Kia says, "'Cause if she sees that it's a wrap." She laughs like she's kidding but nope, there's definitely some crazy inside this girl. The climax of this episode will be Kia jumping on New York to knock her out from behind. It'll be hilarious though, don't get me wrong.
The butler, who is apparently still alive, calls for Tailor Made and Nancy to come inside. Tailor Made thinks this chat will do a world of good. After all, he and Nancy are only platonic friends, so that whole marriage doohicky is just a technicality. Marriage schmarriage! Somehow I don't think New York and her mom will view it the same way. New York invites Nancy to come talk with her privately, and Tailor Made is banished to an interrogation chamber. He's left to wait for company, which soon arrives in the form of Chance and Real, two of last season's finalists. Oh boy! Tailor Made says he's starting to shit bricks, which seems appropriate.
Real immediately grills Tailor Made about still being married, saying he must want New York to commit adultery. Tailor Made would be the one doing that though, right? Wouldn't he be the only one cheating? Before he can stutter an explanation, the guys start yelling at him to make eye contact and not to lie. In the ladies' conference room, things are much more friendly. New York asks Nancy how long she dated Tailor Made before things became hot and heavy, but I sort of doubt that ever happened. One look at him just screams, "I can't get it up." Nancy says they got married after dating for nine months, and that concerns New York. She wants to know if he's actually there for her or just for the chase of it all, but Nancy promises he's there for love since this isn't something he would usually do.
Back downstairs, Real says it seems like Tailor Made falls in love fast. He agrees, even though they didn't mean it as a good thing, and says he'd marry New York. When asked if he'd backstab any other guy in the house to get her, he gleefully shares that he already has. That would sort of worry me if I were in New York's shoes, but you know she digs that sort of thing so I bet Real is taking careful notes. His next question is how Tailor Made got some scar across his lip, which I've never even noticed, and Chance is all like, "Snitching!" Chance is completely useless. This is his only contribution to the whole shebang. Tailor Made hesitates when answering, and in confessional he says he didn't know how to handle this. It's sort of sad that the question that trips him up is about a scar he's probably had for a long time. Considering it lives on his face, maybe he should be aware of it. The rest of their time with Tailor Made mostly consists of Real and Chance yelling over each other, so while I can't tell you what happens, Tailor Made concludes that Real and Chance will tell New York they hate him. That pretty much sums it up!
The butler summons The Entertainer and Megan next. Real asks why his nickname is The Entertainer, and they go back and forth with points like "I entertain" and "But what do you do?" It repeats for like 20 minutes. Ultimately it comes out that The Entertainer works for UPS, which is all kinds of amazing since that really has nothing to do with entertaining, unless he delivers singing telegrams. I would completely root for him on this show if that were his profession. Upstairs, New York and Megan's boobs converse about their man. Megan says they broke up because The Entertainer tends to have a little bit of a temper, so then the footage cuts away to Chance trying to start a fight. Clearly he's the better contender!
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Comments (13)
First off, if I haven't said it before, I love your WKRP reference, BQ! It proves to me that you were probably born around the same time as me (sidebar: my Dad used to have a fu-manchu mustache, navy pea coat and knit cap that made him look exactly like Johnny Fever).
Holy Cow Andy (Travis- hah!)! What a crazy episode. To se NY mildly humbled and embarassed by her own slaggy behavior proves there's hope for makind in general. And she's 25? Yeah, right. If she really is, she should be ashamed that she looks at least 35. I've noticed, too, that she has to keep putting herself in corset-like outifts, since her quack surgeon inserted those towers of teflon waaaay too low. Just get them redone,babe...about 2 cups sizes smaller, please.
Isn't it funny how on every show she's been on, NY keeps talking about how much class she has? This coming from a woman who claims her favorite food is "ranch dressing". I won't even get into the topic of food verses condiments, here, but my oh my! I guess that's the stuff of beautiful recaps, BQ, so I won't complain. I love how your recaps are at leasst 7-8 pages long, so we know we're not missing anything. Keep it up!
1 of 13 | Posted by TheGreatAndPowerfulShz | Posted on November 26, 2007 6:51 AM
Great recap! Been waiting for it since last monday. It was weird seeing new york being humble, not sure if i like it much LOL. Im really surprised that she didnt bring chance back though cuz they had more chemistry than anybody.
I miss Chamo by the way.
Oh, and did anyone else see the other clips from vh1 where they showed pretty and new york and pretty's sister going at it? It was hilarious, but the way Pretty was fighting and yelling pretty much cements his gayness.
2 of 13 | Posted by amarie_luvsTV | Posted on November 26, 2007 7:46 AM
Heh Amarie,
The way Pretty was flailing his hands (limp wrists, limp wrists!) when he was complaining after the interrogation was VERY gay-like.
Anyways from previewing next episode (on Vh1.com) all I can say is Buddha is a bitch! He's a whiny, preachy, not to mention UGLY, bitch who resorts to junior high games to get New York. Basically, he is still sulking over the Chance thing in the next episode. I SO hope its his last!
3 of 13 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on November 26, 2007 8:04 AM
i dont care what the rest of you think, i love chance!!! i may be about as suburban-white-girl as they come, but he gets me going. he isnt even that attractive really, but his attitude and ridiculous comments just crack me up. i want him. so new york can dump him, ill happily pick him back up!!! hahahhahahaha
4 of 13 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 26, 2007 8:30 AM
Ugh, I am so over Buddha. You know what I hate the most about him? That RIDICULOUS sweater-tank thing he wears in his confessionals. He clearly purchased it from the big gal section at JC Penney.
I'm pretty sure he would crush NY's bones to make his bread, but she likes that kind of thing, so I'm envisioning a Buddha/Tailor Made finale with Buddha taking it on home. The thought of that grosses me out, but no more than the show does on a normal day, so evs.
5 of 13 | Posted by die_media_whores | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:37 AM
I picked Buddha as the person I wanted to win while watching the first few episodes but in my opinion he's turned out to be the worst of the bunch. He's faker than any of them. WTF was that bullshit about "keep my chain"..."a season full of real people"...okay.
I declared my hate for Tailor Made a while back and would like to retract that now. He has totally grown on me and he cracks me up. This has happened to me with other reality show people I hate in the beginning and wind up loving. It should be called the Santino Phenomenon or something. LOVE him now!
Finally, NY outdid herself with the "To Wong Foo" comment. I almost died. And as for you BQ, you outdid yourself with that Raven screencap. Hilarious
6 of 13 | Posted by msu11y28 | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:56 AM
Lots of interesting things happening in this one.
Great recap - and I agree that, in your case, never too long.
I am shocked - shocked I say - to find out that some of the people on this show may not have been completely honest.
The people on Jerry Springer have a lot more credibility (but usually less teeth).
7 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 26, 2007 12:29 PM
I love Chance too! I'm not attracted to him, but I think he's hilarious. He cracks me up.....and it's funny to see him and New York together...they're so funny and kinda cute too.
I'm pretty sure the producers were planning to bring Chance back, but after seeing how any one of those guys were about to pound him.....they pretty much thought it was safe to get him out of there. Too bad too......I would like to see more Chance around.
8 of 13 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on November 26, 2007 12:55 PM
I completely agree with TheGreatAndPowerfulShz's comment regarding NY's declarations of being "classy" ... who invites guests (the ex's) to their "home" and then makes them feel so unwelcome? The ex's were giving NY helpful info, so why be so rude? Well, then again, I'd probably not have tuned in! So there you go :)
Great recap!
9 of 13 | Posted by chelle | Posted on November 26, 2007 3:24 PM
I have always said that about Buddha. He's such a bitch. When he throttled Tailor Made he was mad about something TM did to someone else. Buddha is annoying and I want to see his ass gone.
I hate Chance, too. Someone should douse him with gasoline, too. I hate that ignorant f*ck.
10 of 13 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:38 PM
New York's lisp and careful inunciation of every single word is grating. She really feels she's a classy cultured bitch. HA!
Buddha is also getting on my nerves.
Does anyone notice that when Punk wears turtlenecks it looks like someone cut the head off of a "normal" guy and pasted it on one of those bulked up action figures? It looks so funny cause it looks like a headless weight lifter was rushing out of the house and grabbed the wrong head.
Sister Patterson is such a damn enabler. NY was a complete slut and had absolutely no excuse. She deserved whatever was said to her, but Sister Patterson decided that her baby-skank's "sah-wee" words just cured the herpes right outta her mouth.
11 of 13 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:46 PM
"Does anyone notice that when Punk wears turtlenecks it looks like someone cut the head off of a "normal" guy and pasted it on one of those bulked up action figures? It looks so funny cause it looks like a headless weight lifter was rushing out of the house and grabbed the wrong head."
What the hell? Where in the hell did that idea come from? I like it and I am laughing my ass off, but it's very strange. Grabbed the wrong head??? Funny sh*t.
12 of 13 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on November 26, 2007 11:02 PM
As always, hilarious recap.
"Soon New York announces she'll be having dinner with Real and Chance to get all the dirt from the day. While there, she will also probably get herpes."
C'mon now, Bailey. You know New York already has the herpes.
"Catch up with" is slang for "give head to."
I see someone's been reading her Reality Show Dictionary. ;)
I can't tell whether Chance really likes New York or is a pawn in Real's marketing game. Also, Chance reminds me of a cartoon character, but I can't remember the name right now...
13 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on December 5, 2007 9:22 PM