After Thais, it's time for Lashonda to end the rumors about Pretty being a big ol' queerbait. Sister Patterson asks if he's ever had a boyfriend, and Lashonda says, "No. Oh God, no!" which is sort of adorable. Goodness me, don't suggest my brother could be a dick fan! In Pretty's interview, Real says there's rumors of him being a homo, and homo is censored. VH1 will broadcast things like, "You stinky ho, you had his dick in your ass!" but homo is too offensive. Sorry, queers. Pretty says there will be rumors no matter what, and he's secure with himself so he really doesn't care if they call him gay. Good for him, but he should probably start caring because he comes off very fruity indeed. Despite his claims that he totally lost his virginity when he was a teenager and introduced all his girlfriends to his sister, Lashonda is like, "Uh, none of that ever happened." You know a girl with a name like that is gonna speak the truth, word?

Elsewhere in the house, Buddha finds Punk to ask how his meeting went. That's all well and good, but what's a little more important is Punk's creepy freaking bed.

ny-11-19-07d.png
Every step you take, I'll be watching you.


Shit, if anyone put a cardboard cutout of me next to their bed, I would feel a little frightened! What the hell is with that? Punk explains what happened between him and Chance, and as expected, Buddha soils himself mid-giggle. He says Real and Chance are just characters, which prompts Punk to say they're around for comedy games. That is one amazing phrase. A roommate of mine used to tell me she didn't get "the comedy jokes," and as much as I love that, I might love Punk's combo even more.

Soon New York announces she'll be having dinner with Real and Chance to get all the dirt from the day. While there, she will also probably get herpes. Then they and the exes will return to the house for a big party to clear up any lingering questions. Overall, Punk is jealous. Since Chance almost won New York's heart last season, Punk thinks it's a little messed up for him to be going on a date with her now. Consider the people we've got here, you know? They'll be fucking in the limo in no time. Sure enough, New York heads off with them, immediately gushing about how she wants to catch up with her two buddies. "Catch up with" is slang for "give head to."

Having Real and Chance around brings back so many memories for New York. Real used to give her pedicures (ew) and Chance, well, he used to do everything else to her. Marvelous! Right away New York starts groping Chance just like she used to, and at home the contestants chat about how they are all fucked. Pretty thinks it's crap they didn't get a chance to say something to New York & Company before leaving, while Punk says some shit's going to go down if Chance comes back. Not sure if he means coming back to the competition or just back to the house for the party, but either way it should be worth a laugh or two.

Meanwhile, in New York's limo, she tells Chance she misses him. This makes Real a very happy camper.

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Third wheel drive.


She has a special place in her heart for Chance, so this reunion feels just like old times! It's enough to make her start to kiss him on the mouth. She wants to please him, she wants him to please her, she wants to put her tongue in his ear, etc. It all makes you wonder why she didn't just date Chance when things fell through with Tango last season, but oh well! She's just about to fuck his brains out when Real reminds her of the other guys. He asks if Chance should get back in the competition, and goodness me I hope he does not. Real encourages it, telling her she's only got one life to live, but dudes - I've only got one life to live as well, and it'll be a mighty bleak one if I have to look at Chance every week.

I Love New York 2: Take a Chance On Me Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7  |  8 

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Comments (13)

TheGreatAndPowerfulShz:

First off, if I haven't said it before, I love your WKRP reference, BQ! It proves to me that you were probably born around the same time as me (sidebar: my Dad used to have a fu-manchu mustache, navy pea coat and knit cap that made him look exactly like Johnny Fever).

Holy Cow Andy (Travis- hah!)! What a crazy episode. To se NY mildly humbled and embarassed by her own slaggy behavior proves there's hope for makind in general. And she's 25? Yeah, right. If she really is, she should be ashamed that she looks at least 35. I've noticed, too, that she has to keep putting herself in corset-like outifts, since her quack surgeon inserted those towers of teflon waaaay too low. Just get them redone,babe...about 2 cups sizes smaller, please.

Isn't it funny how on every show she's been on, NY keeps talking about how much class she has? This coming from a woman who claims her favorite food is "ranch dressing". I won't even get into the topic of food verses condiments, here, but my oh my! I guess that's the stuff of beautiful recaps, BQ, so I won't complain. I love how your recaps are at leasst 7-8 pages long, so we know we're not missing anything. Keep it up!

amarie_luvsTV:

Great recap! Been waiting for it since last monday. It was weird seeing new york being humble, not sure if i like it much LOL. Im really surprised that she didnt bring chance back though cuz they had more chemistry than anybody.

I miss Chamo by the way.

Oh, and did anyone else see the other clips from vh1 where they showed pretty and new york and pretty's sister going at it? It was hilarious, but the way Pretty was fighting and yelling pretty much cements his gayness.

shia0bundan:

Heh Amarie,
The way Pretty was flailing his hands (limp wrists, limp wrists!) when he was complaining after the interrogation was VERY gay-like.

Anyways from previewing next episode (on Vh1.com) all I can say is Buddha is a bitch! He's a whiny, preachy, not to mention UGLY, bitch who resorts to junior high games to get New York. Basically, he is still sulking over the Chance thing in the next episode. I SO hope its his last!

aman:

i dont care what the rest of you think, i love chance!!! i may be about as suburban-white-girl as they come, but he gets me going. he isnt even that attractive really, but his attitude and ridiculous comments just crack me up. i want him. so new york can dump him, ill happily pick him back up!!! hahahhahahaha

die_media_whores:

Ugh, I am so over Buddha. You know what I hate the most about him? That RIDICULOUS sweater-tank thing he wears in his confessionals. He clearly purchased it from the big gal section at JC Penney.

I'm pretty sure he would crush NY's bones to make his bread, but she likes that kind of thing, so I'm envisioning a Buddha/Tailor Made finale with Buddha taking it on home. The thought of that grosses me out, but no more than the show does on a normal day, so evs.

msu11y28:

I picked Buddha as the person I wanted to win while watching the first few episodes but in my opinion he's turned out to be the worst of the bunch. He's faker than any of them. WTF was that bullshit about "keep my chain"..."a season full of real people"...okay.

I declared my hate for Tailor Made a while back and would like to retract that now. He has totally grown on me and he cracks me up. This has happened to me with other reality show people I hate in the beginning and wind up loving. It should be called the Santino Phenomenon or something. LOVE him now!

Finally, NY outdid herself with the "To Wong Foo" comment. I almost died. And as for you BQ, you outdid yourself with that Raven screencap. Hilarious

fire@will:

Lots of interesting things happening in this one.

Great recap - and I agree that, in your case, never too long.

I am shocked - shocked I say - to find out that some of the people on this show may not have been completely honest.

The people on Jerry Springer have a lot more credibility (but usually less teeth).

jozeyg:

I love Chance too! I'm not attracted to him, but I think he's hilarious. He cracks me up.....and it's funny to see him and New York together...they're so funny and kinda cute too.

I'm pretty sure the producers were planning to bring Chance back, but after seeing how any one of those guys were about to pound him.....they pretty much thought it was safe to get him out of there. Too bad too......I would like to see more Chance around.

chelle:

I completely agree with TheGreatAndPowerfulShz's comment regarding NY's declarations of being "classy" ... who invites guests (the ex's) to their "home" and then makes them feel so unwelcome? The ex's were giving NY helpful info, so why be so rude? Well, then again, I'd probably not have tuned in! So there you go :)

Great recap!

ReeseWitherspoon:

I have always said that about Buddha. He's such a bitch. When he throttled Tailor Made he was mad about something TM did to someone else. Buddha is annoying and I want to see his ass gone.

I hate Chance, too. Someone should douse him with gasoline, too. I hate that ignorant f*ck.

uglycutie:

New York's lisp and careful inunciation of every single word is grating. She really feels she's a classy cultured bitch. HA!

Buddha is also getting on my nerves.

Does anyone notice that when Punk wears turtlenecks it looks like someone cut the head off of a "normal" guy and pasted it on one of those bulked up action figures? It looks so funny cause it looks like a headless weight lifter was rushing out of the house and grabbed the wrong head.

Sister Patterson is such a damn enabler. NY was a complete slut and had absolutely no excuse. She deserved whatever was said to her, but Sister Patterson decided that her baby-skank's "sah-wee" words just cured the herpes right outta her mouth.

ReeseWitherspoon:

"Does anyone notice that when Punk wears turtlenecks it looks like someone cut the head off of a "normal" guy and pasted it on one of those bulked up action figures? It looks so funny cause it looks like a headless weight lifter was rushing out of the house and grabbed the wrong head."

What the hell? Where in the hell did that idea come from? I like it and I am laughing my ass off, but it's very strange. Grabbed the wrong head??? Funny sh*t.

blahblah:

As always, hilarious recap.

"Soon New York announces she'll be having dinner with Real and Chance to get all the dirt from the day. While there, she will also probably get herpes."

C'mon now, Bailey. You know New York already has the herpes.

"Catch up with" is slang for "give head to."

I see someone's been reading her Reality Show Dictionary. ;)

I can't tell whether Chance really likes New York or is a pawn in Real's marketing game. Also, Chance reminds me of a cartoon character, but I can't remember the name right now...

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