It's time to talk about the current competitors over dinner. Real says girls think with their heart instead of their mind, but New York needs to start thinking with both. He's doing her a real favor by assuming she thinks at all. This will probably be much more challenging than he expects. They start off analyzing Punk though, to which Chance asks, "Who's Punk?" Why is this guy so fucking stupid? He gets into a big brawl with Punk and then is like, who's that? I hate everything about Chance, oh my God.
Once he's reminded who they're talking about, he says to get rid of Punk. Real says Punk is there for her though, and that makes New York happy as a clam. She doesn't feel the same way about Tailor Made, but who does? Real believes she shouldn't get with Tailor Made while he's still married, but New York thinks he just doesn't understand the whole situation. See, here's the deal: New York wants to have sex. Tailor Made has a penis. Those two things work well together, and she'd be happy to draw you some diagrams if you need.
As they talk about the different contestants, Chance asks New York if they can just leave this whole scene together. Real laughs along with them but you know inside he has to be screaming. Although New York isn't the catch of the day or anything, he still took part in the big group dating scene so he'd probably like some acknowledgement. Too bad, so sad. He at least gets her to talk about The Entertainer, and New York reveals he still lives at home with Mom and Dad. Naturally that makes everyone crack up laughing, so all discussion stops there.
Next up is Buddha. New York admits he can be violent, although we know that doesn't really deter her. She says it has the potential to send him home but I'm sure in two days she'll realize her mistake and bring him on back. After him, it's time to talk about Mr. Wise. His ex still has feelings for him, and they've been seeing each other recently. That's a red flag for New York. She's very disappointed so she moves on to Pretty. Sadly it's just more bad news. She finds out he lied about introducing women to his sister, and his interview sheet is marked off with big red Xs. Wah-wahhh.
Back at the house, Pretty phones his sister at her hotel. She sounds bummed so he asks what happened with New York. Lashonda says New York pushed the wrong buttons and asked personal questions, which...yeah. Did she really expect something different? I'm assuming she's seen this show before, so her horror is sort of baffling to me. Pretty says the questions weren't something a normal sibling would know about her brother, which admittedly is true. If Lashonda had done the things New York asked about, like watching him have sex, I'd be horrified. And delighted, too. I mean, come on! That would be awesome.
Pretty tells Buddha and Punk what happened, and they promise they've got his back if he confronts New York about it. Aww, brotherly love! His position is that his sister came over because she loves him, and New York shouldn't take advantage of that by messing with her. He's determined to stand up for his sister, and you know that's going to get him sent home but it's all very sweet. Punk thinks this might be a sign Pretty's hiding something, but you know what, I say Pretty's a good guy. Hope he enjoys the rest of his life living in his sister's apartment!
New York & Company drive back to the mansion for the big hoopla, where all the guys are mingling with each other's exes. That's not uncomfortable at all, by the way. New York drunkenly staggers in on Chance's arm, and when Sister Patterson sees their touchy feely business, she eats everyone whole.
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
Sister P's blood boils upon seeing them, but in New York's defense, she seems drunk as fuck. Chance gives Sister Patterson a hug, but she's too busy trying to get New York's attention so they can speak in private. Shit's gonna go down, y'all. Punk and Tailor Made watch with the most hilarious expressions ever, and while I usually wouldn't do two screencaps in a row, I have to make an exception for this one.
Gonna be a party tonight!
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Comments (13)
First off, if I haven't said it before, I love your WKRP reference, BQ! It proves to me that you were probably born around the same time as me (sidebar: my Dad used to have a fu-manchu mustache, navy pea coat and knit cap that made him look exactly like Johnny Fever).
Holy Cow Andy (Travis- hah!)! What a crazy episode. To se NY mildly humbled and embarassed by her own slaggy behavior proves there's hope for makind in general. And she's 25? Yeah, right. If she really is, she should be ashamed that she looks at least 35. I've noticed, too, that she has to keep putting herself in corset-like outifts, since her quack surgeon inserted those towers of teflon waaaay too low. Just get them redone,babe...about 2 cups sizes smaller, please.
Isn't it funny how on every show she's been on, NY keeps talking about how much class she has? This coming from a woman who claims her favorite food is "ranch dressing". I won't even get into the topic of food verses condiments, here, but my oh my! I guess that's the stuff of beautiful recaps, BQ, so I won't complain. I love how your recaps are at leasst 7-8 pages long, so we know we're not missing anything. Keep it up!
1 of 13 | Posted by TheGreatAndPowerfulShz | Posted on November 26, 2007 6:51 AM
Great recap! Been waiting for it since last monday. It was weird seeing new york being humble, not sure if i like it much LOL. Im really surprised that she didnt bring chance back though cuz they had more chemistry than anybody.
I miss Chamo by the way.
Oh, and did anyone else see the other clips from vh1 where they showed pretty and new york and pretty's sister going at it? It was hilarious, but the way Pretty was fighting and yelling pretty much cements his gayness.
2 of 13 | Posted by amarie_luvsTV | Posted on November 26, 2007 7:46 AM
Heh Amarie,
The way Pretty was flailing his hands (limp wrists, limp wrists!) when he was complaining after the interrogation was VERY gay-like.
Anyways from previewing next episode (on Vh1.com) all I can say is Buddha is a bitch! He's a whiny, preachy, not to mention UGLY, bitch who resorts to junior high games to get New York. Basically, he is still sulking over the Chance thing in the next episode. I SO hope its his last!
3 of 13 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on November 26, 2007 8:04 AM
i dont care what the rest of you think, i love chance!!! i may be about as suburban-white-girl as they come, but he gets me going. he isnt even that attractive really, but his attitude and ridiculous comments just crack me up. i want him. so new york can dump him, ill happily pick him back up!!! hahahhahahaha
4 of 13 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 26, 2007 8:30 AM
Ugh, I am so over Buddha. You know what I hate the most about him? That RIDICULOUS sweater-tank thing he wears in his confessionals. He clearly purchased it from the big gal section at JC Penney.
I'm pretty sure he would crush NY's bones to make his bread, but she likes that kind of thing, so I'm envisioning a Buddha/Tailor Made finale with Buddha taking it on home. The thought of that grosses me out, but no more than the show does on a normal day, so evs.
5 of 13 | Posted by die_media_whores | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:37 AM
I picked Buddha as the person I wanted to win while watching the first few episodes but in my opinion he's turned out to be the worst of the bunch. He's faker than any of them. WTF was that bullshit about "keep my chain"..."a season full of real people"...okay.
I declared my hate for Tailor Made a while back and would like to retract that now. He has totally grown on me and he cracks me up. This has happened to me with other reality show people I hate in the beginning and wind up loving. It should be called the Santino Phenomenon or something. LOVE him now!
Finally, NY outdid herself with the "To Wong Foo" comment. I almost died. And as for you BQ, you outdid yourself with that Raven screencap. Hilarious
6 of 13 | Posted by msu11y28 | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:56 AM
Lots of interesting things happening in this one.
Great recap - and I agree that, in your case, never too long.
I am shocked - shocked I say - to find out that some of the people on this show may not have been completely honest.
The people on Jerry Springer have a lot more credibility (but usually less teeth).
7 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 26, 2007 12:29 PM
I love Chance too! I'm not attracted to him, but I think he's hilarious. He cracks me up.....and it's funny to see him and New York together...they're so funny and kinda cute too.
I'm pretty sure the producers were planning to bring Chance back, but after seeing how any one of those guys were about to pound him.....they pretty much thought it was safe to get him out of there. Too bad too......I would like to see more Chance around.
8 of 13 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on November 26, 2007 12:55 PM
I completely agree with TheGreatAndPowerfulShz's comment regarding NY's declarations of being "classy" ... who invites guests (the ex's) to their "home" and then makes them feel so unwelcome? The ex's were giving NY helpful info, so why be so rude? Well, then again, I'd probably not have tuned in! So there you go :)
Great recap!
9 of 13 | Posted by chelle | Posted on November 26, 2007 3:24 PM
I have always said that about Buddha. He's such a bitch. When he throttled Tailor Made he was mad about something TM did to someone else. Buddha is annoying and I want to see his ass gone.
I hate Chance, too. Someone should douse him with gasoline, too. I hate that ignorant f*ck.
10 of 13 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:38 PM
New York's lisp and careful inunciation of every single word is grating. She really feels she's a classy cultured bitch. HA!
Buddha is also getting on my nerves.
Does anyone notice that when Punk wears turtlenecks it looks like someone cut the head off of a "normal" guy and pasted it on one of those bulked up action figures? It looks so funny cause it looks like a headless weight lifter was rushing out of the house and grabbed the wrong head.
Sister Patterson is such a damn enabler. NY was a complete slut and had absolutely no excuse. She deserved whatever was said to her, but Sister Patterson decided that her baby-skank's "sah-wee" words just cured the herpes right outta her mouth.
11 of 13 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:46 PM
"Does anyone notice that when Punk wears turtlenecks it looks like someone cut the head off of a "normal" guy and pasted it on one of those bulked up action figures? It looks so funny cause it looks like a headless weight lifter was rushing out of the house and grabbed the wrong head."
What the hell? Where in the hell did that idea come from? I like it and I am laughing my ass off, but it's very strange. Grabbed the wrong head??? Funny sh*t.
12 of 13 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on November 26, 2007 11:02 PM
As always, hilarious recap.
"Soon New York announces she'll be having dinner with Real and Chance to get all the dirt from the day. While there, she will also probably get herpes."
C'mon now, Bailey. You know New York already has the herpes.
"Catch up with" is slang for "give head to."
I see someone's been reading her Reality Show Dictionary. ;)
I can't tell whether Chance really likes New York or is a pawn in Real's marketing game. Also, Chance reminds me of a cartoon character, but I can't remember the name right now...
13 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on December 5, 2007 9:22 PM